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Monday, 5 November 2012

Growing old disgracefully

I am getting old. I can tell when I try on clothes and they look ridiculous on me (unfortunately my taste hasn't matured with my years.) I can tell by those pesky grey hairs that require me to keep purchasing various shades of hair dye. I can tell by the topics of conversation that keep coming up when with friends at dinner. And I can tell when m kids roll their eyes at a lecture I'm giving them or correct my antiquated terminology. (Video shop is now as hilarious as wireless was in my youth).
I'm okay with it. I'm happy with where I'm at in life, which made it all the more surprising when I had an alarming reaction to the news that I needed (dah -dah - daaaaaaah! ominous chords) BIFOCALS!
I am apparently young to get them, though this could have been the optometrist reacting to my panicked face as the blood drained away and I got that instant tunnel vision only truly bad news brings. But there it is. It's official - I am old. Old people wear bifocals. I am on the downhill run and things will only get crappier from now on, physically speaking.
So despondently I went to choose the frames. They need to be much 'deeper' than my usual style (to match the ensuing depression, I thought). I tried on all these ugly, big frames, like the ones I wore in the eighties. I just looked crap. No other word for it.
Then, I picked some Peggy Sue catseyes, and said "These! I'll take these!" The glasses looked great with my 'going to town' dress and heels. I already know they'll look terrible with my normal birkenstocks, shorts and scruffy tee.
With that split second decision, I have just committed myself to doing my hair and make up everyday, wearing heels and dressing immaculately, no matter what the occasion, even if there's no occasion at all. Ironically, I may become one of the few who looks better in old age than I did in my lazy youth. I know my knee-jerk reaction is extreme and quite probably something I'll regret. However, as I often say 'When you're on thin ice, you might as well tap dance.'  And the best part? I'll fit right in at the Roller Derby.

Heading over to Essentially Jess to IBOT at her snazzy new home. Head here http://essentiallyjess.com/ to see who else is there....

29 comments:

  1. Hey honey. Fear not thick rimmed glasses are THE signal of the hipster and Peggy Sue cat eyes are awesome. I fully intend to have fun on the downward slide - Yeee Haaaah!

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    1. Love the slippery dip image in my head...thanks!

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  2. Growing old disgracefully is the best kind of growing old, you know! x

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  3. ohh what a post!! getting older and not admitting it, I don't even know how old I am atm.. I can't remember what age I turned this year.. perhaps I am blocking it out to still think I'm 29.. not 30something.. Love the sound of the glasses and if that makes you feel like you can dress the best for every occasion then I think thats great! I know I need to pick up my game in the clothes department!

    #teamIBOT

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  4. If it's any consolation, I got my first pair of bifocals when I was 10 years old. Luckily glasses are a pretty awesome fashion statement these days. Which reminds me, I really should get to the optometrist at some point :)

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    1. that makes me feel much better - maybe I'm really, really young looking!
      And go before the health fund kicks over for another year - you won't get a whole 20 cents back....grrrrr!

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  5. Hey why can't you look better as you get older?
    That's my goal. Not sure how I'm gonna do it though... ;)

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    1. But you have more dazzle and less frazzle, if I recall - how can you not look better with that mantra! (see, I do read and take note of the good ones...might even apply it when the new glasses come home to roost.)

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  6. LOL - that was EXACTLY my reaction when I had to get bi-focals after I had cataract surgery (I think I was about 43/44) - but I was totally useless at being able to see with them and so I went back and got multifocals which are a bit easier to use !!
    Good luck - don't think of it as getting older, think of it as getting wiser !!!
    Have the best day !
    Me
    #IBOT visitor

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    1. You're the second person to talk about multifocals. I've left it too late to investigate but sounds like something I need to look at next time (ugh!).

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  7. You're hilarious! Loved it. And I'm sorry to say but I agree - bifocals ARE a sign of age hahaha. My 4yr old wears glasses so we're often checking out frames and I must say, the fashion these days is just plain weird.
    And it's a shame that my kids won't know what a video shop is :(

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    1. yes, lament of the decline of the video rental...and I'm choosing to ignore your depressingly true statement re the bifocals...;)

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    2. And while I'm old, I do know not to feed babies cake!! or whiskey.

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  8. Embrace the disgraceful aging! My next pair of specs (much to hubby's horror) will be cats eyes.

    I also have similar crazy cat shoes to yours too ;)

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    1. Maybe we should start a club - infact CLEARLY you and I are trend setters, with collective thinking....

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  9. Ooh now I want to see them!!

    I think I -may- need glasses.. but trying to ignore it for as long as possible!

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  10. Still waiting on them to come back (my son also needed some glasses so that was an airfare to Hawaii right there in one hit! Just to really add to the pain) Ignore until you mistake people for other people or have to sit next to the tv to understand what's going on...

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  11. I am sure they look awesome! My husband was sad when I had laser surgery...he loved me in glasses. x

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    1. Braver man than I am! I've had a few friends have it done but I still wouldn't risk it (though I understand the risks are minute)

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    2. Popped over to your page but I couldn't find the comment link (cos I'm old & dumb). Good reminder this "They way we see our children becomes etched onto their little hearts, hot black ink and blazing. They wear our words for them like tattoos. The labels we use are scars that never fade. "

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  12. I'm sure my day will come soon when I'll need bifocals as well - I've worn glasses for near distance vision since I was 5 but I'm seeing the signs that my distance vision is also going downhill. Would LOVE to see a pic of them once they're ready!

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    1. will do (unless they look really bad...)

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  13. I mentioned to my sister yesterday that I needed to go get my eyes tested as I really can't see as far as I used to be able to. She said "hmmm, yes you are getting old, Mum and Dad both wear glasses and you're about as old as they were when they got them". Gee, thanks Kate, my 8 years younger sister, who wasn't even born when my Mum was my age!
    My philosophy is that age is a state of mind!

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    1. I go with "growing old is mandatory, but it's optional to grow up." Immaturity can last forever....

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  14. I've now made it a life goal to grow old disgracefully - You are incredible :)

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  15. If that's your life goal, then you should have no worries achieving what you set out to do in life ;)
    (and thanks! Come to the dark side...)

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  16. I'm doing the eye test thing tomorrow after I asked hubby to fix the telly because the picture was blurry only for him to tell me it wasn't and that maybe it was time to update my glasses (or wear them more often, I'm just crap at wearing them). You need to show us your glasses, they sound pretty - oh and Peggy Sue Cat Eye glasses will totally go with a scruffy tee and shorts - it's all about how you do the hair ;)

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