Monday 8 December 2014

Good for her, not for me!

I am reading Amy Poehler's Yes Please - I'm a huge fan of this talented lady and it's only making me love her more. I have a total crush on her and she grows more awesome in my estimation the more I read. This book is the perfect Christmas gift for women everywhere, as she's like Oprah but funnier.

It's irrelevant if you watch her show or movies, the book contains so many words of wisdom to live by, that I've got 2 more posts lined up and I'm only 100 pages in. (I hope this plug and link to the book sale page excuses any copyright issues).

In an offhand remark, she announces the perfect response to those judgmental or loaded statements: "Good for her, not for me!". If you've switched to bottle feeding and people start shoving the stories of breast feeding struggle in your face, simply say "Good for her, not for me!". If someone is lauding the importance of stay-at-home mums on your first day back at work, smile and say "Good for her, not for me!". If someone is telling you how they need to work for their sanity, while you treasure your time at home with the kids, respond with a cheery "Good for you, not for me!" Save your arguments for the professionals - always seek medical opinions on home birth, elective cesarean, feeding, exercise, home schooling, private schooling (whatever the issue is that's giving you grief). To friends and family, respond with a "Good for her, not for me", and better yet, mean it. How they raise their kids and live their life is really no concern of ours.

We don't have to justify our decisions if we believe we are doing what is right of us (and the child) and have the medical/professional back up to ensure we are doing no harm.

More importantly, we don't need to play the game where parenting sites and women's media use click bait to make us be nasty to other women.

Next time you see it on Facebook, just scroll on past.

Next time someone comes in on the attack, smile sweetly and say "Good for her, not for me!".

Please note, this is not a post advocating any type of birth method or child rearing method over any other methods. This is a post advocating that women stop fighting with each other on these issues. (To which you can say to me, of course "Good for you, but not for me")

Linking up with #BWBR

ChatterFox





23 comments:

  1. Good for her, not for me. Love it!
    Good one :)
    L

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  2. I am looking for a book to read, an actual book, not an ebook, and this will be it! I am all about this sort of response! Thanks for the tip :)

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  3. Sounds like a great book. I must add it to the Christmas list. :)

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  4. What a great reply - I hope I can remember it next time I need to use it. I have seen her book but wondered about it as I don't know much about her - may need to change that in the near future !!!
    Thanks for the heads up xox

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  5. I am so keen to read this. And now after reading this I am even more keen! Better get those letters to Santa in the post asap!
    (visiting on behalf of #teamIBOT today x)

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  6. What a fabulous way to NOT engage in someone else's crap! Love it.

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  7. This sounds awesome. I'm going to see if I can download it on audible. Thanks for the tip x

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  8. Great review, Lydia. This was on my wishlist. Can't wait to read it now!

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  9. This is the book I want for Chrissy this year!!! I love Amy! She is all sorts of awesome. Did you see the skits she did with Tina Fey when they were Hilary Clinton and Sarah Pallin? Hilarious. I've read Tina's biography and loved it. I know this one won't disappoint!

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  10. Amen. I normally don't get involved but had to jump into the fray around that stupid article that guy wrote about Yumi Stines this week. The mother-shaming culture we have is disgusting, and lamentable that we seem so keen to rip into each other instead of standing back and saying in unison "Eff this. The bullshit judgements need to stop. Let's just bloody get on with it".

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  11. Thanks for the tip on this Lydia, I love Amy's work.
    That response is perfect when you want to get your message across, but not sound too bitchy doing it. If only everyone would stop buying into the idea that it's fine to be so completely judgmental.

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  12. That's a perfect response. I'm sick of the so called mummy wars that just create a divide where there should be togetherness.

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  13. I might need to add this book to my Christmas wish list.

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  14. I love that response. i so need to read this book I think xx

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  15. Sounds like a great book - I think I need to add it to my list. Thanks for linking up with Mummy Mondays. #TeamMM

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  16. I've always loved her in interviews, but haven't seen much of her work. You've made me want to read her book. These are great words to live by. x

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  17. I tend not get involved in opinion based topics about parenting. People love to make comments about our co-sleeping 2 year old... Pfft, doesn't phase me. Each to their own. Great to see the book is so inspiring.

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  18. Definitely tucking that little phrase away for later. An excellent philosophy.
    Dani @ sand has no home

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  19. I saw a great video on parenting the other - everyone was had opposing views in mummy wars - till the pram with baby in it rolled down the hill and they all ran to save her.
    I'd like to read this book.

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  20. Sounds like this book goes hand in hand with my 2015 motto of be the change you want to see in the world and good for her not for me nails it! Shall also be checking it out.

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  21. What a great phrase 'good for her, not for me!' I think I could do with saying that to myself whenever I'm scrolling through social media and think that someone's achieving so much more than me- it would be a good reminder that what fits in someone else's life may not be a good fit for mine. I do really dislike how women are taught to be jealous and attack other women's choices.

    Thank you for linking up with #BWBR

    Katrina x

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