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Sunday, 18 January 2015

Be a woman

I was really taken with an episode in the Mindy Project last night - I wanted to show you the clip but that seems copywrong so you'll need to buy the DVDs and watch it for yourself - Season 2, Episode 12. The main character, Mindy, wants to lose weight to look good naked for new boyfriend. Her colleague and personal trainer has accidently seen her naked and gives her some advice. Mindy jumps in with 'I need to lose weight, I need a boob job, blue eyes' etc, trying to pre-empt the pending critique, with criticisms already said 'by every mean girl' in her life ever. However, all Dan says is "Don’t hold in your stomach because it makes you look nervous." Then he simply says: “You’re a woman and that’s good. Look like a woman.”

As someone who feels slightly disappointed every time I see myself in the mirror, always surprised at the aging reflection, I loved this scene so much. I wish someone would say it to me in real life (and that I'd listen).

Instead we listen to the horrible little voice in our head, the voice that compares our flaws to the photoshopped photographs or to the newer, younger people in our lives. We see enormous flaws that are probably invisible to others. Hopefully, anyway.

I watched the scene twice as it was quite possibly the most romantic moment on television, at least that I've seen in a long time (but I am watching Breaking Bad and the Sopranos again, so that could explain something). I can tell you now, I'm not doing it justice.

Next time you are feeling all self-conscious and unhappy with those child bearing hips or post baby tummy, repeat to yourself “You’re a woman and that’s good. Look like a woman.”

Linking up with Grace for #FYBF, and Things I Know (because I know I need to hear this more) & #WeeklyWrapUp

Mindy Kaling is all sorts of fabulous, and her book is worth a read too, as I've discussed before (here). The clip below is nothing to do with this post, just a general ad but she deserves a plug, so here it is:
I need to say, while Dan may be saying it, and technically I should be crushing on him, I'm actually crushing on her because I'm sure she wrote it. I am so glad that there are role models like this for young girls today. If you have teens, get them the book, and watch the show with them. Though maybe watch it first to decide if it's appropriate.

24 comments:

  1. I love Mindy! I've read her book- she's fabulous!
    What a great line- be a woman, indeed!

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  2. I have absolutely no idea about the show to which you refer but I love the message in it! Women do worry so much about their bodies. I am quite accepting of mine these days. Life is too short to be bothered with it!

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  3. I've not heard of this show but I love the quote - what a great one it is ! As always - thank you for sharing !!!
    Have the best day xox

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  4. I've never heard of Mindy but now you've got my interest! Totally agree about women and body image. Most of us don't like our bodies. I have to admit that I STILL don't like mine. It's short and doesn't carry weight well & it is the most overweight it has ever been at the moment but I am taking steps to try and rectify that. I hope that once I do get my weight back to an acceptable level that I can accept and love my body. ;-) x

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  5. I've never heard of the show either but it sounds like it has all the right messages. Is it ok for an almost 12 year old?

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    1. It's a dating show, so I'm not entirely sure - possible not. There is sex (but not pervy, usually funny) but just how soon you start all the moral talks, I don't know...

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  6. I've just finished GoT and was looking for a new tv series. Might check it out... #TeamIBOT

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  7. Ha! I've just read all these posts about losing weight, which I would like to do, and then I read this!
    So the lesson I take away from this weeks IBOT, is keep yourself healthy, but love who you are as well.

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  8. Ah, that's lovely, thank you, just what I needed to read on a hard day when chocolate and wine are certainly more necessary than self restraint.
    dani @ sand has no home

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  9. I honestly try not to compare. Maybe it's because I am a giant woman, whether I'm a good weight or not, it has never really bothered me to be fat or thin or somewhere in between. x

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  10. This looks awesome and just my kind of show. I can't believe I haven't heard of it before. Yes, we're all guilty of listening to that little voice in our heads. The next time I feel unhappy with how I look I'll repeat that line to myself. Great post.

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  11. That line is brilliant. As you know I am working on my weight at the moment but for me it's all about how I feel and I think that is important. The minute we are changing for someone else is when you'll falter because the reasons are all skewed.

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  12. In needed to read this today Lydia and maybe every day. I have never heard of the show you write about either but the sentiment is rather beautiful.

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  13. That's a great line! LOVE IT! I spend a lot of time helping women change that voice inside their heads. It's a pesky thing ...
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

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  14. Mindy Kaling is freaking awesome and I needed to hear that right now. There is far too much New Year inspo-porn going on for my liking...

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  15. Brilliant quote! I was mortified in the supermarket last eeek when my 4 year old was pointing out fat people. I dont know where he gets it from as i have (or thought i have) taught them better than that.

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  16. I haven't heard of Mindy but I'm interested now. This is something I'm working on, but more from a health POV, I find that if I eat well then I feel happy with how I look.

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  17. I followed Mindy from The Office to her own show, and love her work! Her insecurities always make me laugh, because she's a normal woman.
    It's crazy when these awesome shows get shown at midnight, when most people aren't even aware of them.

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  18. After just having a baby this totally makes me feel much better! Yes I totally look like a woman - flabby and a bit droopy but woman!

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  19. I'm intrigued to what this show is so will be heading off to look it up in a second because I love the sentiment behind this. We all need reminding that we need to look like a woman and that's ok.

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  20. I've never seen the Mindy Project but I'll have to check it out now. It's such a tough battle. I'm working hard on taming my inner voice. It's that listening to the good stuff part that's hard, as you've said.

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  21. I was just talking to a friend of mine last night who was asking herself the question, "What does it take to be a woman?"
    We come in all shapes and sizes, with different rates of metabolism (and ageing!), the definition of a woman is amazingly open ended.
    For my own definition, it definitely includes "comfortable in my own skin" and despite happily nestled in my 40's, it's something I still need to work on...

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  22. Oh, thanks for sharing this. I love the message and am looking forward to finding out more about the Mindy Project.

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  23. I definitely look like a woman! An overweight middle-aged one! I still struggle to accept myself for how I look these days. The reflection I see shocks me as it shows me something different to how I see myself in my head. In my head I am still a slim 30 year old. I would love to be happy in my own skin. Hopefully one day!

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