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Monday, 6 July 2015

My, what big fears you have, my dear!


We get very excited when we contemplate a new venture. We enthusiastically pack a basket of goodies but before we set off down the new path, the doubts begin to set in. Should I even try? I probably won’t be good at it. What if it’s a mistake? It won’t work so why even bother?

For some reason, the human brain isn’t always our best friend. Instead of cheering us on from the sidelines, it stands in the doorway of change, tearing us down until we decide it’s all too hard and a waste of time.

Most of the time, we instantly believe what our mind tells us. We don’t doubt for a minute the validity of the fears that take control. Yet we would never let someone talk to our friends like that. We would defend them. If a friend raised such self-doubt, we’d be quick to challenge them, and encourage them to at least try. So why not do the same for ourselves?

If you have a mean little voice in your head luring you off the path, then you need to challenge it. You need to argue with the doubt so it can’t become too powerful. You must defend yourself and your abilities. If the negative thoughts aren’t logical, then you need to push past them and carry on your merry way. As the old German proverb says 'Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is'.

We need to remember that fear is normal but sometimes stupid. Fear is like the little devil on your shoulder but he has no angel on the other shoulder arguing back, so he just expands and becomes stronger. It is time to tame the beast.

I’m not saying to ignore all your fear, as it can be a self-protecting mechanism and a great survival tool. I’m talking about challenging those irrational fears that stop you when you really have nothing to lose. So if you can decide the fear has any basis, if it can’t be refuted, then take heed. However if it’s just telling you that you won’t succeed, then ask why not? You might find the fear slinks back off into the forest. There’s a lot of truth to the saying ‘Self-doubt killed more dreams than failure ever did.’

So like Little Red, skip happily off on your new venture, whatever that may be, as you know that story works out well for everyone in the end (except for the rascally wolf). Remember if you can change your focus, you’ll change your life. “Miracles start to happen when you give as much thought and energy to your dreams as you do your fears” – Unknown.



31 comments:

  1. So true. My mantra to myself is "Just Breathe". Then I picture myself shutting my eyes and just jumping right in:) #TeamIBOT

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  2. Love this post Lydia. Argue with the doubt - and prove it wrong!

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  3. There are so many gems in this post Lydia. I particularly like the "we wouldn't talk to our friends like that".

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  4. Ahh you have no idea how relevant your words are to me today! Ha! So glad I read this post. The mind is a powerful thing and sometimes we do need to challenge it :)

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  5. I'm trying to push through fear, but have so much anxiety over the simplest things I never get to the bigger stuff. It's hard. Sigh. How did you get to be so smart?

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  6. Excellent advice, Lydia! It's hard, but so worth doing- acknowledging our fears and doing it anyway.

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  7. Love this post. Rather timely for me, as I commence a business diploma and feeling more than a bit out of my depth.

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  8. Oh yes - I have many fears and yes they stop me doing stuff (lots of stuff) but I do challenge that voice all the time and I push on though maybe with more caution than necessary!

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  9. Well said Lydia. Can't wait to hear more about your new venture. x

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  10. Absolutely!! Some of the best things that have ever happened to me were the result of me smooshing that fear down and doing the bloody thing anyway! I wish I did it more x

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  11. I love the idea of arguing with self doubt to stop it from ruling. Great post!

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    1. It would be good if we all saw ourselves through each other's eyes....

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  12. Lovely advice Lydia. I am itching to try something new... maybe grapic/web design :)

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  13. I am totally taking this post as another sign i have seen in the last 24 hours!
    Thank you!!
    Ps i used to admire arnie however yesterday i came to dislike him very much after a massive price increase in his protein shake powder. That is a story for another day!

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  14. I was just writing yesterday about my fears of not being good enough as a writer, and the mean little voices that tell me that I'm not, and how I have to ignore them and plough on.
    Thanks for your great advice :)
    Dani @ sand has no home

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  15. Love this! My fear gets the better of me at times but this post is a fabulous reminder not to let it. x

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  16. Oh yes I completely agree... we talk to ourselves in ways we'd NEVER allow someone else to talk to us and we'd never talk to anyone else!!!

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  17. Ah so true! We do need to challenge that little voice and not let it take over and bring us down. Thanks for the reminder. It is amazing how to can often start off so positive and it is all downhill from there

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  18. This is lovely and so needed this week - thank you! x

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  19. So true! thanks for sharing - I read another blog on a similar theme recently that I loved, I have added your link in their comments and wanted to add theirs here, enjoy! http://www.inspireunleash.com/#!Forgetting-Doubt/cmbz/5508fb6f0cf27b8ab2a2cb00

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  20. I love your closing quote! It is so true! Thank you - I needed to hear this! :)

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  21. I want to challenge and face up to my fears but they are ingrained and so hard to fight. But they do need to be questioned - that's a starting point at least x

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  22. Self doubt killed more dreams than failure ever did... I needed to hear that today ... Thanks

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  23. This is too true and exactly what I needed to read today. I've been struggling with self-doubt while on Tafe holidays, and questioning if I can really do this photography thing. I am going to write that quote down on the front of my tafe notebook.

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  24. I always remind myself I've done scary things before and not only survived, but usually felt triumphant afterwards!

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  25. Absolutely spot on! This is definitely the way I live now but it hasn't always been so and to take the risks has been scary but so worth it. Great post!

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  26. Excellent advice! I just blogged about risk taking and this post is like the universe saying, "See! Told you" Thank you. Have a lovely day

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  27. Love that quote! There are days when I'm out on the road with my sales job and I'm thinking the worse - crabby customers, no sign ups. But as soon as I change my mindset and just think about enjoying a day on the road (especially if it's nice weather) things aren't so bad and I end up having a lot more energy and motivation. All in the switch of a mindset.

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  28. I am getting much better and pushing fear aside and pushing myself to just do. If it doesn't work out well at least I've gained experience for next time I push myself past my fears :)

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  29. Sometimes we just need that reminder that we can do things.

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  30. So relevant for me. Thanks for the gentle and caring reminder that I can do it! Mel xx

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