BMX Bandit

Okay, okay, I've already outed myself as an old lady, as I suspect BMX-ing is akin to saying I was listening to the hitparade on the wireless...but I'm old so humour me. (I read yesterday, on Moms who drink and swear, that she says 'don't make fun of me. I'm old in my head' - that could be my new mantra)

On the weekend, we stayed at the wonderful Bundanoon YHA, all 42 of us (those who are aware of my social ineptness, might be confused by this, but big crowds can be good to get lost in). One of the highlights of this YHA, is that it has a BMX track on the grounds. So guess who went BMX-ing? And got air?!

The track has some fast corners, and some big obstacles - which I'll admit I was too chicken to do, and was put to shame as I watched 10 year olds mount them with ease. But seriously, no amount of looping the track would get me the courage to ride up this:

 

 

I kept practising, getting speed (and air on the small jumps) but at the last minute I'd chicken out of giving the three difficult obstacles a go. Finally, after a few last minute swerves away, I stumped up the courage and I made myself do this one:

I was so proud of myself - alas no one was there to witness my feat of courage - which was probably good, as I didn't do it very well - I mounted the logs then chickened out and slowed right down instead of shooting over them. But the important thing, with all these Torshlusspanik challenges, is not doing them well, it's just doing it.

The interesting thing, while tearing round the track, was that as I approached the scary jumps, I would feel very fragile, like my bones would break if I fell. Which given some of the kids had massive stacks, without breakage, I guess is part of aging - lots of fear, no logic.

While I say I got air, it probably wasn't as impressive as it felt. I don't mean this kind of air:

But I managed to go at speed over this jump and fly off the end.

There were few witnesses to my prowess - few over the age of 12 (who were not impressed by the old lady slowing everything up). But there was one. That night, the hostel manager came into the lounge and said "You seemed to be getting into the bike track this afternoon". And you know what, I was. While I set myself the challenge of doing one of the jumps I was scared of, I was so busy psyching myself up to getting the courage to do one, that I didn't notice how much I was enjoying going faster on the curves (to race back to the tricky jumps) and how much higher I was going each time off the manageable jumps, to hasten my return to the challenging ones.

And that's a bit like life - we focus on the difficult and impossible, and don't acknowledge the enjoyable and achievable. On one of my posts, in response to my question on why the negative overwhelms us, Aroha from Colour Me Sunset said "Because we focus on the difficult and become blinded by it." That sums up my headspace at times perfectly.

In A Man without a Country, the genius Kurt Vonnegut tells a story of his Uncle Alex, who used to stop and say out loud, when they were having a pleasant afternoon "If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is". Uncle Alex's comment would make everyone pause to appreciate their moment of happiness. In the book Vonnegut implores us  "I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'"

So for me, flying around that track was joy inducing - the actually achievement of the challenging jump was just getting a box ticked off. I need to be wary of the difference, and remember which is the important one to focus on.

 For the record, this isn't me. It's an 11 year old. But just pretend it is.

Torshlusspanik List:

1. Shooting (check)
2. Fencing (check)
3. Play croquet at Croquet Club
4. Laser skeet
5. Off road buggy driving
6. Play Assassins Creed
7. Jetpacking (check)
8. The Color Run (check)
9. Invent something
10. Cooking Masterclass (check)
11. Master a Masterclass (check)
12. Perform a rap song (check - but write up pending)
13. Trampoline adventure
14. BMX Riding (check)

Stretching out on the Lounge, with some other bloggers...and linking up with Francesca for Thankful Thursday (because of that last little bit!) and linking up With Some Grace for FYBF!