Old enough to know better...

I went to a party the other day, and it was divided into clusters from the hosts life. There were a fair few in our cluster, so while I spent most of the night with those I knew, I did strike up conversations with others, as we were all there to celebrate a milestone birthday with the host.

At one point in the night, a song I liked came on, so I went to the small group of five that was dancing, and announced I was joining them, even though they were all strangers to me. A few seconds later, the three women whispered to each other, looked at me and left. It was shockingly rude and frankly for 50 year olds, infantile and weird. I turned to the two men who remained dancing (one of them obviously feeling very awkward about whether to stay or go, and one too drunk to care) and apologised for bringing the vibe down. The drunk guy just shrugged and smiled. We danced as if it hadn't happened and then when the new song came on, I went back to my people...

WHO DOES THAT?

I told a friend and her first response was to shriek in a horrified squeal 'That's so high school?!'
And it was. The weirder part, I wasn't trying to talk to them, I literally was just coming to dance. So it seemed an excessive show of poor manners, to prove some point that I clearly missed.

The night before I went to Jungle Giants, where I was easily 30 years older than everyone else. I went with a friend and we merrily danced away. At one point, I noticed three women, maybe 20, looking at me. One was grinning and possibly copying my moves. I wasn't 100% sure if she was making fun of me, as she was smiling at me in a very friendly manner, so it was difficult to read what was happening. Her friend then gave me that look. It's a look I get at lots of concerts where I don't belong. It's not nasty, but there is a patronising air. It's a look that says "Aren't you cute?!" Cute in the sense of a sweet old lady. Betty White cute. The mimicking was an inclusive move, not one with malice. It is something I'm getting used to. It has occasionally had the words 'I hope I still go out like you when I'm old' and other such variations, that are meant to be compliments but are shattering reminders that your outside doesn't match how you feel inside...and yet I'd still take that over the small minded women at the party.

It's a sad reflection of society in a lot of ways. The older we get, the more focused on our 'lot' we become. We're not interested in sharing with the greater community, nor open to new people. I have a lot of faith in the youth of today. I hope they don't follow our bad example.

To borrow from Kate Forsyth, dancing is common ground that allows 'people to connect, despite all our defences and all our differences'.

And who wouldn't want to connect in the easiest and most instantaneous way possible?

"Inclusion is a way of thinking, a way of being, and a way of making everyone feel they belong" 
(not attributed to anyone? If you know, let me know).

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