“You can hide things from the world, but you can never hide things from time.” ― Kim Dong Hwa

 I'm okay getting older, and I'm more or less okay with my aging looks. However, it's the decaying body that is becoming a problem. I had an alarm bell moment this week that made me realise that my body would put a stop to certain activities in time, whether I wanted to do them or not.

For years we have done those rope courses with the kids. Big groups of us going to Treetops in Ourimbah or Minmi in the school holidays. I would be one of the supervising parents on the high course while one of the other parents would watch my baby/toddler/six year old on the low rope course.

I always found it fun and fairly easy. I didn't think twice when I decided to take the youngest and a friend to do the Treetops course at Pennant Hills this week, as she was finally tall enough to do the high course. It would be some fun forest bathing for us inner city mice.

But in the six years or so since I'd last done it, something had changed. My body had aged. I found even Green easy course tricky and less enjoyable because I lacked confidence. On the Blue course I got into the rhythm and thought "Oh, I'm just out of practice. I just needed to warm up." However on the Red course, I really hurt myself slamming into some wood posts and couldn't hold my weight on the swing rope and was exhausted by the time we finished. I had fun but it was hard and I was aware of my frailness. I am aware my days of this type of activity are finite. There is an end date, not set by my will or desire. It worries me.

I said to my husband, "They want to do the Black course when they turn 16. I don't think I'll be able to do it in four years time." I can't tell you how sad this makes me. Not specifically about the ropes course, but I am reaching the point in life where my body dictates my limitations.

While dangling from a rope, trying to pull myself into the climbing web, my daughter's friend apologised for picking the hard* route, not the easy route. I yelled at my daughter "When you are really hating my guts, just remember I did this for you". The two guys behind me laughed. 

Later at the lockers, one of the young men came up to me and said "Good on you. Mum of the f#cking year if you ask me!"** So I'm taking that title and owning it! Might even get it made into a tee for such occasions when I'm physically out of my depth.

I am looking at this endless COVID time with the same sadness, knowing I'm on the clock in terms of what I'll be able to do physically by the time we get the big festivals and travel and other fun stuff back. All I can say is make hay while the sun shines, because it gets cloudy sooner than you think.

Now off to do some agility training, in an attempt to steal some time back into this body.

* Always do the Hard route. The Easy route looked lame, even to me. Notwithstanding my fails, I would have regretted taking the easy route

** I suspect he knew I wouldn't be upset by the emphatic swearing due to what he may have heard coming out of my mouth when I slammed into the poles...

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