Analysis of a life

I was asked to summarize a friendship. I had to write in unemotional terms how we had interacted over a decade. Not describe her as a great friend or a caring, generous, thoughtful person. Instead I had to talk about how we met and all the things we did together over that period. This task is harder than it sounds, If you are good friends, you do a lot together and it all blurs.

I found the upside to my lazy email system that results in my never deleting emails. I had plenty of emails to date stamp events. Weekends away, dinners and parties. Shared school and kids sport experiences. Obviously photos are a clue, but you do so much more together than you bother to photograph.

It was also odd the things you remember - not the event so much but the kooky conversation that took place, or an event that you weren't at but were told about excitedly after the fact. I knew her overseas holidays but had no timeline to them, as I was remembering our excited conversations in the lead up to the trip or looking at photos on her return. Our memories are not the clear history book we think it is, but as vague as poetry, an anthology jumbled together.

It amazed me how entwined our lives had been, and over such a long time. She's not even someone I would consider one of my oldest friends. In our heads we think we are living our own lives, but with a lot of our friendships, we are constantly sharing experiences. 

Friendship marks a life..."friendship is never anything but sharing." 

― Elie Wiesel

It made me realise how lucky I was to have such wonderful people in my life, people who've been walking beside me for a long time.

Have you ever had to analyze a friendship?