Finding the calm in the storm

On Sunday, as I thought we might sensibly be preparing for full lockdown, I became scared and upset. I felt angry at everything that had been taken from me, and all the fun things my kids were missing out on - the cancelled camp, the last hat parade, the last international food day and the award at assembly. The role of house captain and the responsibilities now redundant. 

I was feeling how insecure everything was, and how the planning and life we set up was and things we enjoyed were now all gone. That security is really just an illusion that we had put too much belief into. Everything was in free fall and beyond our control.

I sat outside in the yard feeling hollow.  I worry about all these people that have literally no income now, in a country with poor safety nets. And I feel sad for my kids that will miss out on their fun. 

Then it occurred to me that this was exactly what happened to the Syrians. Living normal lives, planning their school dance, a new career, their next day's work and overnight, it's all ripped away and life as they know it has changed. Or the Bosnians, the Croatians, the Cambodians, the Vietnamese and a million other places. It's not that it's the whole world changing forever, it's just that it's the first time it's happened to us. A Croatian friend I discussed this with concurred. 'All of our lives were so badly disrupted by a war we had 25 years ago that I honestly think people here in Croatia are in the group of “the least panicked” nations — you can even hear it between people in the grocery store "“This is nothing compared to scarcity of food and hygienic items during war.” ...school was disrupted ALL THE TIME. And when we would go to school, at least one hour was spent in the shelter due to air strike sirens...This isn’t to say I’m minimizing what’s happening now — it’s affecting our lives too, mine, my family’s, but this is still so FAR from the fear, anxiety, and devastation that war brings....Even my mom came home the other day and said: I refuse to lose my shit due to coronavirus— I still remember very well living through a war with two small children and husband in military and this is not that type of crisis.'

My understanding is that Russians my age have lost everything twice. All their money worthless overnight & it’s changed their thinking and behaviour and they just spend everything, as they've learnt there's not a lot of point in saving for later, as later can change everything. 

I heard an interview with an Aussie stuck in a hotel in Lebanon when the last flare up happened (can’t remember the exact details but he was doing daily reports on the radio) and he said that in the hotel, all the Australians were freaking out (& crying) and all the Lebanese had just jumped back in time 10 years, sitting relaxed at breakfast and were saying things like ‘that’s a R27*, you don’t need to worry about those ones’ or looking at them as if they were being ridiculous and creating a scene by crying as the bombs went off. 

In Australia, we been really lucky to not have experienced that on shore since WWII. It felt like the world was changing forever with this virus. But now I realise it's just that it's the first time we've experienced anything like it. Yes the world is changing, and some things may never come back, but it is probably just an interlude, and we will adjust, maybe alter our thinking a bit, but some sort of normal returns. 

It cheered me up and I've been okay since. I'm sure I will yo-yo on it, but for now it's all out of my hands and I just have to go with what is recommended (frankly go higher than the Australian recommendations - look at WHO and the countries that are getting it under control). If you have the economic security to help others, please do.

Please don't think I'm trying to minimise anyone's distress. This is just what helped me get my head around it. I also think it is okay to complain about the little things, to work them out of your system. We only understand what we are losing for now. I suspect that will change the more out of control this gets. Robb Webb has this bit where he says it’s like you go to the doctor with a broken arm and the guy next to you has a broken arm and two broken legs, and yes, he’s in more pain than you and needs more work done but the doctor still sees you and says ‘you have this broken arm and it’s causing you pain, so let’s talk about that’. So that’s our pain. And it’s okay to deal with that...(so don’t let anyone dismiss whatever you’re upset about).

Needs to be noted that I am not a doctor (*and I also know nothing about missiles so I just made the R27 up, because I can't remember what he said exactly). I am also taking my time frame for Ticketek who started selling tickets to a concert in late July. That seems as good a date as any, so I'm going with them for 'expected medical outcomes'.

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