If I could turn back time, if I could find a way...

Now that I've given you all a very nasty earworm, I'll move onto my journey if I could time travel...I would travel back, long, long ago to have a little chat to a man, and try to change the course of human history. That man would be Noah, and the conversation would go a little like this:

Me: Noah, we need to talk. You are about to make a huge mistake. I know you've been charged with a task, but you need to reconsider...maybe "accidently" just leave two creatures off - or even just one creature off really, the female head louse. It's only tiny, it will barely be noticed. And in many centuries to come, I won't spend a good part of my life coming the f%$#ers out, night after night, causing floods of tears that quite possibly will require me to build an ark of my own soon...

Noah [looking doubtful]: Errr...

Me: You know what will happen, if you let them on, they'll be in your hair, then your wife's, then the kids - and you haven't even got one of those fine-toothed, metal combs. You'll just have to itch for forty days and forty nights (or is that Moses?). Anywho, it won't be pretty, but it will be too late!

Noah [nodding pensively]: Hmmm.

Me: And one last thing, don't forget the Unicorns - and don't eat them!

I bet that earworm seems preferable now to the head scratching some of you will be doing at the mere mention of head lice...


Also, if you like time travel movies, and don't mind subtitles, I liked this one: 11 A.M. It's a very simple idea that they let play out. You should be able to get it at the video shop (or wherever you down load movies from if you are younger than my 107 years)