There is a meme going round asking this question. When I saw it, my first reaction was 'Nothing. My preCovid self was doing it all right. It's my post COVID self that might need a talking to'. I asked some of my friends the question. Their answers were interesting. Missed opportunities, fears of staying at home, instructions for things they should have done and of course, stocking up on toilet papers jokes. For me, however, I think my preCOVID self was making the most of all the opportunities out there. A friend said to me, when checking in over ISO "You really take advantage of enjoying what the city has to offer, this must be so hard for you". I think that was a fairly accurate description.
However, as I mentioned before, I am a little changed from this experience. It's taken me by surprise. I was sure I'd be the first person at a restaurant when restrictions eased, however, so far we've stuck with take aways and having friends over. I've been running a poll with friends, asking if they've eaten in a restaurant yet. I'm more cautious than I was. I'm not sure I like this. This is not the person that sent us 13 degrees shy of the North Pole to be attacked by polar bears. This is not the two concerts in one night so as to not miss a thing mindset I used to have. This is not who I was back in March. It is apparently who I am now. I don't see it as an improvement. It doesn't 'feel' like me.
There are articles floating round on this 'new' attitude, and I could see a bit of me in this one. Rafiki Mwema has a webinar on Stepping back into the new normal which I plan to check out. I want my preCOVID self-back. I'm too old to waste time not sucking the marrow out of life.
I have organised a group of friends to do a Mystery picnic come June, and I've my allotted 5 friends over for a dinner and dance (and champagne celebration) for the last Hot Dub at Home to farewell this not-so-splendid isolation, so it's not like I'm sitting around doing nothing....but still, I'm not who I was...and it worries me.Hopefully it's just a minor adjustment, like physio after an injury. I guess noticing and not liking it is a good start.
Would you have a message for your pre-COVID self?
The virus spread is still out there so it's natural to feel cautious atm. #MLSTL
ReplyDeleteHi Lydia, I've learned how to utilise my time to include things that I want to do and that there have been positives to find in this time of isolation. Sure it hasn't been as tough for me as others, but I've learned to take the pressure off being there for everyone and I now realise that they cope quite well without me. Thanks for sharing at #MLSTL and take care.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to think about that for a while, Lydia. We did eat in a restaurant last week, and I admit to feeling a little nervous, but the staff all wore masks and gloves, and there weren't any other patrons seated in our area. They brought out paper menus, so I presume they were disposable. I still prefer going somewhere we can at least sit outside. I don't quite trust my instincts to know when I'm being reasonably cautious and when I'm being overly fearful. Perhaps that will come with time. It's early yet, and we are still in the midst of a pandemic. I just want to make sure the anxiety doesn't become ingrained in me. #MLSTL
ReplyDeleteI think that's what's worrying me, as you so succintly put it, that anxiety might have become ingrained in me....
DeleteI have noticed one big change in myself since Covid-19. I'm more likely to reach out to people than before and arrange social gatherings within the allowances of social distancing laws. I'm more likely to invite a friend over or phone someone to check in on them and touch base. I like this new side of me because I haven't felt isolated at all. The other day I reached out to 3 different friends and ended up socialising all day (one after another) when normally I would spend the day at home on my own. There's always something positive to find
ReplyDeleteThat's a great new trait. We've been having lots of people over (we're allowed 5) but I was never a sit at home person - even sitting at home with friends...so I know it's not depression because we're still socialising a lot (pretty much every night of the weekend, Friday thru to an early dinner party Sundays), which I'm organising...but it's the trepidation to go out which I'm not liking
DeleteWe are lucky to live in Western Australia, where the virus has been minimal, but I'm still anxious about getting back to normal. I agree with your thoughts about being cautious in returning to normal. My message to my pre-covid self would be to seize the day, and stop planning!
ReplyDeleteI've definitely become more insular and less social than I expected to be. I'm surprised at how little I miss about the social aspect of life - I've become a hermit and I'm not sure how I'll prise myself out of the house - what will be interesting enough to motivate me to put on a bra? I'm sure it will happen but I'm not rushing back into life (and I was never as interested or involved in life as you are).
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up with us at MLSTL and I've shared on my SM 😊
What an interesting thought! I would tell myself to stock up on groceries and toilet paper before the start of quarantine. I would have taken a trip to see my daughter in February. Other than that, I am doing well and have few regrets.
ReplyDeleteAlways take the trip! Always!
DeleteI have learned that I need to speak to at least another person other than my husband every day. I so miss social interactions. However, even now as we can venture to say have a coffee in a cafe, I am quick to want to leave because I am taking up one of the precious 10 people only space. I am actually mentally worn by the whole thing because other matters impacted us medically and it was tough doing that as an individual and as a couple. Things are OK but I do sense we will never be 'back to what was'. I have been saddened by so many job losses and grateful for once to be on a part-pension and not needing any cancer treatments. Thanks as always for making me think. Denyse #mlstl
ReplyDeleteMentally worn is a good description. I hope you, like me, bust out of this and bounce back to our old selves. Or even better selves - why not aim high?;)
DeleteI hope for you that it is a minor adjustment too - while we've never met in real life, I've always been amazed (and inspired) at just how many different and varied events you get along to or support or take part in. I'm sure that as soon as you can you'll be back out there getting the most out of Sydney.
ReplyDeleteI understand the being cautious feeling and think I'm feeling something similar. It's an interesting thought, what would I write to myself? Maybe remind myself of how much I love to read :). I really enjoyed your physio analogy at the end, wishing you well. #mlstl
ReplyDeleteI hope it's right...
DeleteI wish I could have told my precovid self that I had to get a broken tooth fixed urgently and to choose a hairstyle without a fringe. We made the mistake of giving up our car just before lockdown as we could always use public transport so I wish we could have kept it a bit longer especially as the roads are quiet and we have had lots of sunshine. We have not been allowed into coffee bars yet so I am looking forward to that.
ReplyDeleteI cut my own fringe even after restirctions eased! That's that 'ingrained' worry that one of the people above refered to. Yikes!!
DeleteI think I'd write a list of things to stock up on and a reminder that hand sanitizer can set your car on fire.
ReplyDeleteThen I'd say I was stronger than I thought and trying to keep plants alive and a bird feeder active are worth the hassle.
I tell my past self that I will be able to handle not going swimming without completely losing my mind, will be able to walk further than I thought pain free and will be able to get back on my bike.
You're brave to have friends over, I did my first in-person visit the other day and the six-feet apart cha cha cha was a little challenging but doable.
As far as going to a restaurant, that seems like a faint and far off possibility, but I don't think I'll ever join a gym or exercise class again.
I miss swimming too. I put out a second table so the 6 people are spread out over a table for 14 - I think everyone thinks I'm a nut...but it is what we're meant to do.
DeleteI would not write such a letter. One bad thing more or less makes no difference. The big change is on the news. Earlier they reported wars by no of killed people, now they report killed people by C. And blaming everyone they came. As usual. :(
ReplyDeleteI'd have made sure that my technophobe mother had some means of video chatting. My wife had a new baby daughter in March and she's still not been able to see her.
ReplyDeleteoh no!!! And who knew that would become a thing people needed to do! (and congratulations!)
DeleteOh, and thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time.
ReplyDeleteI think I have realised what matters and what can be let go of. Also, I have realised who my real friends and supporters are, and that actually, we can do hard things. i think adjusting to normal life will be a bit of a shock though!
ReplyDeleteBefore lockdown I was doing too much and forgetting to make time for myself: I won't make that mistake again. Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama
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