Follow by email:

Tuesday, 12 May 2020

We are all a little changed...


I thought I'd been rocking the ISO, even though for me, my world had changed 100%. I'd introduced nightly board games and Badminton and outdoor garden games like Finska. We'd amped up sunset with the LED version of Badminton (I think the neighbours must be glad the nights have cooled as we were noisy!). I was making the dinners more interesting and getting more exotic with the cocktails. There were lots of laughs and good times.



For Mother's Day, I'd organised a huge feast to be delivered the day before for lunch (as we were working on the actual day and I had to visit my mother). The restaurant failed to deliver the food in time, and it arrived at 2pm. I was devastated. I knew I was blowing it out of proportion but I couldn't help it. I really plummeted emotionally. That was a sign something wasn't 'normal'.





We went to dinner at someone's house. It was in a different suburb (only 3 kms away but not a street I've visited), and I got dressed up in heels and make up. I drove (as I'm still not ubering or public transporting) so didn't drink at all. However, it was like I was drunk with the giddy elation of it all. The next morning, it was on a high that lasted well into the evening. That was a another sign that I'd actually been affected more than I realised.






The last one hit me as it happened. I usually walk around drinking tea, everywhere I go. Because I've only been walking the dog around the block, I haven't filled the thermos up in 8 weeks (we shut in a little early - I've been following the OS best practice). As I was making the tea to visit mum (so there was no chance I infected her by touching any of her stuff), I felt a burst of joy. This simple thing I'd not even thought about, I'd somehow missed. My subconscious celebrated what it saw as a return to 'normal' and I suddenly felt excited. It was very odd.









So even if you are having a good time and enjoying the most of ISO, note that there is still an underlying stress or anxiety that you may not even be noticing. It is there and affecting your resilience and balance. Be kind to yourself. This ISO stuff is harder than we think.

On the positive - we will all be high as kites on natural endorphins doing the simplest of activities soon enough!

Linking with #TrafficJamWeekend



35 comments:

  1. Great post Lydia. I rave on about how little my life has changed. I work from home (a bit) anyway and am a homebody but I suspect the sense of trepidation or uncertainty in the atmosphere has impacted on me in ways I've not yet acknowledged. I still obsessively read COVID news on Twitter first thing. And during the night if I wake. I've had a few other 'crashes' this year so perhaps I'm already wallowing at a low and won't go any further and things will look more optimistic.

    As an aside, I'm sorry about the lateness of your Mother's Day lunch. I can completely understand how having meticulously arranged it (and it not working out) would be so deflating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was being a total banana but I couldn't help it - it was an emotional wave. So weird. I read the stats - I look up countries with interesting figures and see what they're doing. It's like a 'control' when really you have none.

      Delete
  2. Yes, I agree with this. Although on the surface my life may not have changed that much, emotionally and deeper down I think I too have been affected more than I would like to admit.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very true. In the beginning I was truly terrified of what was going to happen. I've settled now ... into this new reality, and with less anxiety as thankfully Australia has been much luckier than other countries. However, there is always an underlying nervousness and/or anxiety and like you I do feel burst of joy in the simplest of activities. Yesterday we went to my sister-in-laws for a coffee. I put makeup on, dressed up a bit and what once was no big deal at all was now all a bit of a thrill!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was me for the dinner. I was so over dressed but it felt SO GREAT!! HA!

      Delete
  4. I've noticed it too Lydia - someone called it "antsy" and that's a perfect word for it. Maybe a bit of cabin fever?? I've been quite content thru most of it, but now the restrictions are lifting a little I'm very excited about the kids being able to visit next week and a coffee at a cafe will be wonderful when it happens!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lydia - just back for #MLSTL and to say that I've shared this on my SM x

      Delete
  5. It is amazing how much we can be impacted without realising sometimes. It really will be amazing to do all those things we have been missing again and such an emotional rollacoaster #dreamteam

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hope you enjoy more and more simple pleasures in the coming days as the restrictions are lifted. #MLSTL

    ReplyDelete
  7. I want to be at your house for stay-at-home, with your glowing badminton and creative cocktails! My husband and I are homebodies anyway, but it has been hard to not hang out with my grown kids and sister. I understand being giddy about just doing normal things. I can't wait to go out browsing at the dollar store or a clothing store or going out for margaritas. Very soon, we'll be there.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Lydia, The sunset version of badminton looks like a lot of fun. You remind me of the roller coaster of emotions we have been going through. Your phrase “affected more than I realized” says a great deal. I sometimes find my body reacts before my mind understands why. Great words we all need to hear right now and always “Be kind to yourself.” A wonderful post! You articulate well what most of us are feeling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi again, I meant to #MLSTL and I share SM. A great post!

      Delete
  9. Now that restrictions are starting to be lifted I'm excited about many things we took for granted before Covid-19, like having coffee at a cafe with my best friend, and being able to venture a bit further from home. It's a little bit exciting!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi, Lydia - This is such a wise and candid post. "We are all affected more than we think we are" makes so much sense. May we all hold on to our gratitude for the simple things in our lives! #MLSTL

    ReplyDelete
  11. Love your stories and the ups and downs. One day I am dealing with everything OK, then I cry a bit the next day. I admit COVID has buggared up things quite a bit for me for my 'daily coffee' out but when I did go to a cafe the first time last Friday I felt I had to be quick so the table could go to someone else. And as for normal...we left that behind, we are creating new (and newer) normals every day as we give this and that a go...back to school full time for example...Denyse #mlstl

    ReplyDelete
  12. I got ultra excited just being able to go and sit in the local park after lock down finished! And also being able to go to the fresh food market which is quite a way from home and was therefore forbidden for us to go there for almost 2 months. I realised that the extent of my excitement didn't match the 'normalness' of the activity. I think it will take us all a while to re-balance our emotions. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Lydia, this is so interesting! You're right, there's stuff we don't even realise, until we realise! I left my desk and went for a walk today at lunch time. I had my ear buds in and my 80s music playing. I was actually skipping and dancing down the path all by myself. I realised what I was doing and thought "am I actually going mad?" I figured I looked like an insane woman. My kids would DIE. But the feeling inside me was pure childlike joy! I mean ... is that normal? Nope. Not for me! I can conjure it up when I need it, but this was natural. A pure high created from experiencing life for the first time. Crazy crazy stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I feel quite positive most of the time but when I see my calendar with the things we were supposed to be doing my heart aches a little for lost chances. Thanks for linking up with #dreamteamlinky

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. I've had my 19th gig cancel. Still waiting to see if I can get the money back from the hotel (in a State we aren't allowed to travel to...but it's an International hotel chain so they haven't released their policy...). Lost money aside, I'm more disappointed that I'm missing the band and party planned...

      Delete
  15. I think you're completely right in paying attention to little signs of stress and anxiety during this very weird time. We are very good at adapting, but perhaps we won't really know how it's actually affected us until much later down the line. Be kind to yourself and thank you for joining us for the #DreamTeamLinky

    ReplyDelete
  16. I totally agree. In the main I have really enjoyed having us all at home, but there is an underlying stress there #DreamTeamLinky

    ReplyDelete
  17. Well, I would have loved to be at your house for ISO - I'm definitely there for the negronis! Apart from having hubby home and developing a love of puzzles, our lives really didn't change that much. I think I've been suffering from coronanxiety in general (as a home loving introvert, I really enjoyed iso) and worrying not just about the effects of the pandemic on my loved ones but the wider community and the world. I think life for all of us is going to be quite different and there are so many unknowns. I find it really unsettling so just take one day at a time and find joy in the little things and the new freedoms as they happen.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Don't you hate when something little is the last straw and you know you're over reacting, but it's not the thing that you're over reacting to that you're really over reacting to... As an aside, that negorni looks perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I get it Lydia, and think there are a lot of people out there, suffering various forms of anxiety from all of this. I hope you are feeling OK and good on you for sharing your thoughts with us! #lifethisweek

    ReplyDelete
  20. I never thought I would say it but I think I need a glow in the dark shuttlecock, that is fab. I think everyones brains will be forever a little changed after this, both for good or bad. When you think about it whether people have been ill or not, lost loved ones or not the whole experience has been a trauma. For me the hardest thing has been seeing the children struggle and not understand. I have a huge ball of joy waiting in my chest for when we can go see family again, its fragile and I am so worried it won't happen but we all live in hope. Stay safe and take care. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time x

    ReplyDelete
  21. It was my daughter's birthday this weekend so it's been tough here but we did manage to see a few people over the course of the week. It really is amazing how quickly you can get used to something and then how you don't realize how much you miss the ways things were until actually presented with a bit of normalcy #KCACOLS

    ReplyDelete
  22. Thank you for sharing..I always appreciate your view on life..as you make me think more....

    Thank you for linking up for #LifeThisWeek#190...I hope to see you back next week with the optional prompt: 22/51 I Saw 1.6.2020. Take care, stay safe, Denyse.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I think emotions are running high for everyone at the moment. I think my reaction to the Mother's Day meal would have been the same! #KCACOLS

    ReplyDelete
  24. This crisis has for sure brought out all our insecurities,its been tough!

    ReplyDelete
  25. As a family of five locked down, I've found myself staying up way too late on a couple of occasions just so I can enjoy a little time alone! I guess that's not quite normal! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Lovely post, I think you are so right about us not knowing we are affected until we know. I have had my life turned upside down most in a positive way lucky for me but I am sure I will be feeling the impact for a ing time to come now #kcacols

    ReplyDelete
  27. Our intellectual mind copes and our emotions let us know the real scoop!

    Michelle
    https://mybijoulifeonline.com

    ReplyDelete