Augmented Reality

I had to fill in time in the city the other day, so I went to World Square 
and chased the dragon. Similar to Pokemon Go, it festooned the plaza with lanterns and firecrackers while the dragon floated around. I had this moment, while admiring how pretty it was in my phone, when I looked up at the empty square. Then it struck me. 'Are we not going to bother with actual decorations anymore?' (To be fair, there are laneways in World Square strung up with lanterns and pretty lights).








I was reading a blog on how to look younger and her first tip was an instagram fliter - which made me laugh, but it is practical as so much of how we view ourselves is now through a phone camera lens.


I've commented before that the way we see the world, and our place in it is changing. So many festivals and art galleries now offer the 'Instagramable' moment. The Grounds Valentine Day is set up with selfies in mind. Food is designed to be photographed and plastered on social media.



My question is, with augmented reality, is that the next step in the process? We no longer need to fix the world, if we can make it so beautiful with filters and when we look through the lens?

Don't get me wrong, it's just a bit of fun. But I also have an uneasy feeling that little by little we are rewiring our world view, maybe even slowly losing our grip on reality...or at least how we see ourselves, and our role in our life. We are a curator of images for others, not in the moment ourselves. I do this a lot. I'm always taking photos. I need to put the camera away on purpose, a reverse from 20 years ago, when I needed to remember to bring the camera to take photos.










I apologise for the waffling, I can't get the thoughts straight in my mind, so I'm putting it out in the ether and to rest. Would love to hear what you think about all this, and also let you know that the augmented reality is running until the 4th of March (and the dragon offers discounts at shops and restaurants, if you want to go to lunch or dinner there too!). I guess what I'm ultimately getting at, is our image of life becoming more important to us than our actual life?




Linking with #OpenSlather #KCACOLS #StayClassyMama #TwinklyTuesday #FortheloveofBLOG & #GlobalBlogging

Life through a lens

Recently I attended So Frenchy So Chic, a music and food festival celebrating all things French. I noticed that a lot of the 'activities' to pass the time involved taking photos for Social Media - screen shots 'in' New Caledonia, sitting in a boat or in front of the Renault yellow balloons, or simply before the giant letters with the harbour background. It's a day out for beautiful people, so I didn't really think about it.

What did surprise me, was when later in the week, I attended the Opera House and in the foyer was a pretend opera box with props to take your photo in, and a long queue to do just that. When you walked into the auditorium, there was the hashtag being promoted. Apparently my opinion that the obsession with Social Media and selfies was a young person's game, was unfounded.

I've been coming to the conclusion that the way we see the world has changed. This focusing on our presentation of the world has to have an affect on the way we view ourselves in it.  In the past, I read an article that stated the top reason for choosing a travel destination was the most instagrammable. More recently there was an article that 20% of your travel was on history and interest and 80% was on taking photos for your SM feed.  I was once invited to an event with the most instragrammable food. I declined because I didn't know if we would be allowed to eat it and was too embarrassed to ask.

I was considering a very pricey dinner for Valentine's Day, but was surprised they advertised the opportunity for 'picture perfect moments illuminated by fairy lights' and the photobooth before they mentioned the lobster they were serving for the meal. They're very savvy marketers so they know what appeals and in what priority, so I think this is an indication of the seismic shift in what is important to the population.

I have gone to restaurants and events, purely lured by the appealing SM of it. Not because I wanted to create that social media, but the photos were enticing and made me want to seek out the experience. I think it was Marc Best (of Marque fame) said in an article that 90% of people take photos of their meal, and 50% of those post them online. Most of the people who go to the restaurant now have been lured by Social Media (of their friends or the PR effort). So I understand why businesses want it done, and I also understand why people want to share great experiences with their friends. If we do something fun, we want our friends to do it too.

My questions is, how much is it shaping our view of the world and our role in it? Clearly, by the travel statistics it is changing us. It has to be changing how we experience our life. What does it mean, and what is it doing to us, psychologically?

Sorry for the inconclusive post but I'm very interested in your thoughts on this. Obviously our children will be very different people to us, given this is the norm they grew up in.

Linking with #MummyMondays

One of the Greats....

A week ago I went to The Greats exhibition, which I really enjoyed. There was this painting, which is actually a maiden lamenting over a dead sparrow,and which back in the 1700's everyone would have understood signified her loss of virginity...yes, no need to discuss the weirdness of that. However, for me, it summed up my feeling pretty much every time I read something on the internet that reflects the shortcomings of the society we live in. People that blame the mother for taking her baby to the beach instead of being horrified some random guy would try to kidnap it, people that feel hard done by about losing their rights to rape women on private property, people that feel overwhelmed to the point of affront that someone wants to put in a unisex toilet and the list goes on, and on, and on, in a swamp of deranged anger and discontent of monumental proportions.

I've been offline a little more this week, by coincidence, and felt happier for it. I think I used to be unaware of the hateful society out there, of the angry people that pounce in judgement on every little news story. It just wasn't on my radar and never cropped up in conversations. 

I think I preferred living in ignorance.

I've no solution to either drowning out the sea of angry voices, nor actually turning the ideological idiocy but I do get a wry smile every time I think of this lady, who I now mentally stamp on each post I scroll past in disgust and disappointment.

Linking with #FYBF & #UltimateRabbitHole

Intolerance of youth

I was a little disappointed to read on my facebook feed, someone complaining of the move to unisex toilets, with a derogatory jibe about the rise of 'gender neutral' in the media. The disappointment more because they're a young person, much younger than me, and I guess I thought the youth of the world were more evolved than our generation.

When the rise of wheel chair accessible toilets become a trend, did people complain? I doubt it. While it only affects a small percentage of the population, we thought 'Great that we're making life easier for someone'. Isn't this the same?

For the transgender community, for parents with children of the opposite gender, for children/carers with elderly parents of the opposite gender who need assistance in the bathroom, and for a myriad of other reasons that I haven't thought of, doesn't this change just make life easier? As it causes no harm to me, don't I think 'Oh,good for them.', if I think about it at all?

I am saddened when I see such useless intolerance, especially in the young, as I really believe the world has has changed in so many ways for the better and we're smarter than we were. Perhaps I'm naïve. If it doesn't cause harm to anyone, and makes others happier or does some good, then shouldn't we respect it? Shouldn't that be our litmus test for everything? 'Good for her, not for me' should not just be the motherhood mantra, but for all people.

Have you been disappointed in your Facebook feed?

Linking up with #OpenSlather

Social September - disconnect to reconnect

There is a movement afoot. I've noticed it starting quietly. A few friends have taken themselves off Facebook, a few have left their twitter account untouched for months and slowly but surely, people are trying to manage their time online a little better.

Personally, I've been wasting a lot of time online. I've had to limit my engagement to set times, and leave my phone in another room once my partner gets home. I'm trying hard not to look at it when the kids are around. As I discussed on Her Collective last week, I want to engage with them, at their leisure, as I feel I've been missing those moments with my head in my phone.

Social September is a movement, like Dry July and Movember, where you disconnect from your digital life in order to reconnect with each other, and more importantly, yourself.  I think when things get difficult in our lives, it's easier to play around on facebook than deal with the real issues, as I've previously discussed.

There are two ways to participate - either challenge yourself to disconnect, or organise an event to reconnect face to face (start making time to see those friends you've let slip through the cracks) or both. Money raised goes to Reach, the youth organisation, founded by the late Jim Stynes OAM and Paul Currie.

Personally, I'll be disappearing for a little bit (digital diet) and work on catching up with some long lost friends.

Why not try it and see if it makes a difference?

Linking with 

Hello, My name is Lydia and I'm addicted to the internet.

I've discovered I have a problem. A big problem. I'm stepping away from those I love and those around me, in favour of a fleeting hit of the virtual world. I'm addicted to my phone.
If you are spending more time thinking about what you're going to say to entertain random strangers (or 'friends' or followers) than actually talking to your real friends, then I suggest you do to.
As a result, I've decided to actively try to limit my online time - I'm trying to reduce my time on social media by limiting how often I look at it (3 set times a day) and leaving my phone in another room for periods of the day, or when in a social setting. I have noticed a negative impact on my relationships and concentration and I want that to change. I want to tune into my real world and the people actually around me.

We were listening to Freakonomics podcast (if you don't already listen to them, get them on your playlist now!) and the fabulous Aziz Ansari basically summed it up perfectly "all that shit people email you about all the time, all day, none of it is important. None of it is pressing. And if you just focus on the work you’re doing instead of focusing on it for like two minutes and then getting distracted to answer some question that isn’t pressing at all, you do a worse job...So I’d love to just throw out, if I could throw out the Internet as well, that’d be great. I never read anything. I’ve never read all these novels that are like these beautiful stories that have continued to have a resonance with people for so many generations...But instead, I choose not to read them. And I just read the Internet. Constantly. And hear about who said a racial slur or look at a photo of what Ludacris did last weekend. You know, just useless stuff. It’s like, I read the Internet so much I feel like I’m on page a million of the worst book ever. And I just won’t stop reading it. For some reason it’s so addictive.... I’ll say, the times where I haven’t read that stuff, the stuff that I normally read on the Internet, just nonsense blogs or whatever, the next day I’ve felt like I’ve missed nothing. You know? I deleted Twitter and Instagram off my phone. I mean I use them to like post stuff but I don’t have them on my phone. I don’t have, like, a feed. I don’t follow anyone. And I used to read that stuff a lot. And now I don’t read it. I don’t see those pictures. And I don’t miss it. And I feel like a lot of people do a lot of this stuff. And if they cut it out I don’t think they’d miss it that much. I really don’t. I mean when I don’t check in on those blogs and stuff, if I miss it I don’t go back and, like, if you don’t read [a] blog for a week,...you don’t go back and read Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Cause you’re not reading it for the information. What you’re reading it for, and this is just my personal theories about this stuff, what you’re reading it for is a hit of this drug called the Internet. The phone world. You just want a hit of it. Like when you scroll down and you see a new blog post you’re like oooh! That gets your brain excited. It’s like, oooh! There’s something new! And you click it and you read it and you’re like, oooh, but it’s garbage. It’s nothing. Like ok, alright. Somebody dropped an N-bomb. Great. Alright. I mean that is kind of a cool story, but, but you’re just searching for this new thing. When you look on your Facebook feed and you see these pictures it’s like, none of that shit really matters. You just want to see a new thing on there and it just gives you something to do. I’ve sat at my computer. I still do it. And I go on like Facebook or whatever and I’m like, what am I doing? I’m going on a loop with these same four sites for no reason. I’m not genuinely interested. Like, here’s a test, OK. Take, like, your nightly or morning browse of the Internet, right? Your Facebook feed, Instagram feed, Twitter, whatever. OK if someone every morning was like, I’m gonna print this and give you a bound copy of all this stuff you read so you don’t have to use the Internet. You can just get a bound copy of it. Would you read that book? No! You’d be like, this book sucks...It’s not that interesting."
The fact is, it's not really the information that's addictive, it's the checking for the 'latest hit' or the attention. So as I've found, the easiest way to limit the time spent in the phone world, is to take the phone away. If we're at home, it's in another room. If we're out, it's for checking with the babysitter only. Otherwise, the FB or twitter checking is for when I'm in a queue, or on the bus. One quick visit in the morning, and one before bed. Ansari agrees "if I go to dinner and I don’t have my phone, I don’t miss those moments of looking at my phone. But if I have my phone with me I want to look at it because it’s drug-like. You want to check it and just see what’s going on. And anytime there’s a lull in the conversation, our attention spans are so short you just have to look at it. But I don’t like that I have to look at it. I don’t like that I’m that compulsively addicted to checking my phone or the Internet. I definitely don’t like that. So it’s, you know, I’ve found the way to fight this kind of addiction is to kind of take the phones or whatever out of the equation. And then you end up being able to kind of resist it. And then you forget about it and your mind’s at ease."

I'm embarrassed to admit that what prompted this for me was my attention span (and not the fact I was ignoring the kids and my partner - shame on me but I never profess to be perfect) - I noticed it was harder for me to focus on reading books. My mind would start to wander midway through a chapter and I'd pick up my phone for a bit, then suddenly half an hour later, I'd still be on the phone. So now the phone goes in another room.

Interestingly, I have noticed others looking at their phones in restaurants or even dinner parties - there's nothing pressing. It's rude. That's all there is too it. I'm not judging because I'm still a work in progress, but I am taking a step in the right direction.

Do you rely on your phone world a little more than you should?

Linking with #MummyMondays

(PS I'm sorry that's such a huge cut & paste but I think he really nailed it. He has just written a non-fiction book on Modern Romance so I'm hoping this shameless plug of his new book will help him forgive me)

Image Source: Wikimedia Commons:Aziz Ansari, Peabody Awards

What we hate about facebook...

As soon as the topic of Facebook comes up, someone will pipe up with posts they hate. For some reason, things our friends like to post drive us mad. In no particular order, posts we hate on FB are:

1. Photos of kids. We hate people that constantly post photos of their kids and show off about their achievements. (How many times to we have to say they're cute?)

2. Photos of food. What are we even meant to say to that?

3. People who post about their exercise. It's no accident the article titled 'I got a fitbit and became a bore overnight' went viral.

4. Travel photos. Stop showing off.

5.  Selfies. How insecure are you, and why do I have to keep telling you that you look good?

Now all of the above, people hate. Yet, without a doubt, everyone one of us constantly posts at least one of these, if not more. So here's what we love to post on FB:

1. Photos of kids. We're so proud of them, and they're so cute.

2. Photos of food. We can't believe it turned out so well.

3. People who post about their exercise. It's a great way to get motivated and we're so proud of what we can do.

4. Travel photos. Is there anything more amazing than the big wide world, and how do you know where you want to travel to if you don't see where people go?

5.  Selfies. Scenery shots are boring, and I'm actually there.

What are your pet hates on FB, and what are you guilty of?


Linking with #MummyMondays

Filling the void - The Perils of Social Media

In a discussion on boasting, the number of FB friends you had came up. Does this number reflect something, or is it irrelevant? Somebody I know was a little hurt that while they had close to 300 FB friends, only 50 or so really engaged with him, even just to press 'like'. Some of the closest real life friends took little interest in his online world.

I am fascinated with this beast that has become so much a part of our lives, how we interact and how we engage with each other. It's often hard to tell if it connects us or isolates us. There is an element that we are filling a void with our endless, often one-sided conversation. We get approval from people, often people we don't know in real life, bolstering our ego, making us feel good about ourselves. This attention is addictive. I even have a book that states the more FB friends you have, the happier you are, the theory being that you feed off a collective happiness, and to an extent, that is true. Yet there are plenty of current articles arguing the reverse.

The danger is that this need for attention can create another void in our real life relationships, which brings a very real and damaging loneliness. If we are focusing our interest on the internet world, we are diverting our interest from those actually around us. If you have ever been mid-sentence, only to have the person you're talking to interrupt and announce what they just saw on their phone, you'll know what I mean. If you are up to date on what your online friends are doing, but don't know what your husband did today, then you are focusing on the wrong area.

This excellent article sums it up perfectly. We need to stop and take interest in the people around us if we are to make them feel validated. We may not be interested in what they are doing, but the fact that they are doing it should be enough for us to engage with them on it.

We need to continue to 'turn towards' those in our lives. Focusing on those on FaceBook or Twitter is in a sense 'turning away' from those we live with.

Obviously, I love social media and spend a lot of time in an online world. It's the balance that is tricky. I've mentioned before, while I understand it's a panacea, it's also consuming, so we need to make sure we keep it under control, or risk damaging important relationships in the process. If we appear more interested in the lives of the people in our phone, we will eventually cause those that live with us, or near us, to turn away from us. No one likes to play second fiddle for too long.

If you are out with your spouse, put your phone away. If you are playing a game with your kids, don't check FB when it's not your turn - make conversation with those at the table. If you are grabbing a coffee with a friend, be present with them only.

The beauty of social media, is that it can wait.

Linking with #Blogtober on the balance needed with our time online

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Things about Social Media I don't get (because I'm old)

 1. That guy putting his pants on without hands. Why did that go viral?

 2. Cats (but I'm right on the Sloth bandwagon so don't be offended if you are a cat post-er, you can be all Judgey McJudgy back at me)

 3. The bubble fat ad - been looking at it for about a year now. If I haven't clicked on it yet, I'm probably not interested. Though I am slightly revolted every time I see it.

 4. The FB algorithm that means I never see my actual friends pages in my news feed, only commercial ones...

5. That Robin Thicke's PR peeps didn't see it coming with #askThicke.

6. Friends that never respond to your detailed direct messages.

7. People on SM, looking but never joining in or posting...

8. Pinterest. I just don't get it...

9. People not on SM at all. Aren't they just a tiny bit curious?

10. People telling you what to post on your FB page (like this).

Linking up with One Mother Hen for #OpenSlather

Guilty pleasures

Linking up this old post with #ArchiveLove because it's about guilty pleasures and it discusses a TV show (and yes I did go and see Offerman on Friday night! Interesting Offerman also discussed this and sang 2 songs about it, but more of that in a yet to be written post.) We all have guilty pleasures, and a lot of what we busy ourselves with, we self-create. We waste a lot of time, or rather use up our time on the internet, rather than being present in the physical world. I think we are busy to the point of exhaustion, because we commit too much. We don't want to skip a swimming lesson, or guitar or work function, and in the end, something has to give. Sometimes we busy ourselves so we're not left alone with our thoughts.

Last night I watched an episode of Parks & Recreation called Sex Education that opened with a hilarious bit around "tonnes of old people have chlamydia". It also covered Internet addiction. It came down to this, Ron asked Tom why he needed to be distracted all the time? His answer 'the truth is, things aren't going that great in my life at the moment, so I'd rather play Doodle Jump than think about that."

Is that why we do it?

It definitely adds interest to a lacklustre day. It is easy contact, usually without hassles or demands.

It is a way for the lonely to reach out (or is it for the sociable but house/office bound?).

It is often an addiction, as our devices become more and more portable.

It becomes an intrusion. An intrusion in relationships, in our cars*, in our lives.

Some one mentioned it was the National Day of Unplugging today, a movement aimed at getting hyperconnected people to slow down their lives a little with a day of rest, and ultimately build time of rest into their normal week**. Give it a go.

Or more importantly, unplug a little of your day, every day.

I'm no saint. I've taken to leaving my phone in the other room at night, because otherwise I will check email & facebook. I am trying to be better at other entertainments when waiting or out in the park. I'd like it if my phone was the last resort, rather than my first choice.

I'm not going to give it up, but I would like to be a little more present in my life.

Seems like a challenge for my Torschlusspanik List, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for that commitment. Would you? Could you?

*Not my car, in the show Tom crashes his car, tweeting.

**It's hilarious to me that the National Day of Unplugging people can be followed on FB and Twitter, and have a competition where you upload photos of what you do instead of being online/phone etc...sort of defeats the point.

Lying on Facebook?

There was an article on Mamamia about lying on Facebook - a practice that I fail to understand the point of. I totally get that when things go south you may choose to become a little quieter, however, to pretend all is grand when it isn't, seems odd, if the people you are talking to are your friends.

I guess for a lot of people, FaceBook is a broadcast, not a conversation. I have a friend, and I send her messages, and she never responds. If I publicly ask questions, I have a better chance of getting an answer, but even then it's slim. It's almost as if she's just after 'likes' to validate her photo.

FaceBook can be great company if you use it as a way to connect with people - not to catch up on their news, necessarily, but to discuss and share things. I guess if you have friended every person you ever met, then it's a little harder. If you've been selective, with just your real friends, then it's easy.

Look at your last post. Did you join in the conversation or did you just let everyone comment on it? I would think, if you actually start engaging, there'll be less lying. You may not say you're feeling down, nor that your marriage is coming apart, but you may not project the 'aren't I fabulous?' routine that FaceBook gets blamed for.

Interestingly, I've become better friends with some friends because of our frequency of chatter on Facebook, and two of my friends, who didn't know each other, have become friends (in real life) after constantly chatting to each other on my page.

That is the benefit of FaceBook. If you're projecting a false image, you're wasting your time. And everyone else's. As I've said before, there is a danger that the more connected we are, the lonelier we are; when really, if we use it right, we should feel comfort that are friends are nearby, a close as our phone.

We're all riding the wave of new social media. We need to make it work for us, not enslave us. If you change your online behaviour, slowly, slowly, so will your friends.

Censorship, Friendship and Facebook

My partner is participating in an upcoming OS road race, and has joined a Facebook support group with other competitors so they can bounce ideas, stay motivated and organise meet ups before and after the race. They all have the common interest of running, but as they come from around the globe, the cultural differences are beginning to creep in.

One member has gone early and hit Vegas. He posted a photo of himself with this statute on the Strip. He was doing nothing lewd, just standing with the 'most photographed statute in Nevada'.

For those of you familiar with Il Porcellino in Sydney, you'll know why those behinds are shiny...

Anyway, one international member of the group did not like this photo, and reported him to Facebook for pornography. She had been friendly with the guy, but didn't approach him directly, nor did she give him warning of her actions. He found out when he was approached by Facebook.

This raises a number of questions for me:
1. Do you find this image offensive?
2. If you did, would you report is to Facebook?
3. If you would report it to Facebook, why would you not just ask the guy to take it down?

I understand, there is a cultural Australian aspect where we don't dob, we don't rush to authorities etc. We are also a little more laidback in our attitudes to pretty much everything, for the most part. I could even understand reporting it to the art police, but each to his own, I guess.

I also wonder, if that statue is considered pornographic on Facebook, would you also be reported for this one? (ah, yes, that old chestnut - what is art and what is pornography?)

                                                               image from Wikipedia

My other question is, how do you then socialise in person with someone you've reported online?

Would love to hear views on this, or have you ever reported anything you've seen on Facebook?

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT and Talk to Us Thursday

Living out loud

I am fully aware of the irony of what I'm about to write, but there is something in the news today got me thinking (and it's something that crops up almost daily).

When something happens, how does the media get access to people's Facebook page status? How do they get their photos? Do they hack in? Does Facebook hand it over? Or do 'friends' pass it on? If we have a personal facebook page, or pinterest/twitter/instagram account, have we really handed over all rights to privacy?

If so, do we need to keep that in mind when we post our kids/thoughts/selves? (Topics of catfishing and facial recognition issues will be saved for another day - it's just too big to even get my head around yet).

Do we need to consider how to keep in touch without sacrificing privacy?

(Obviously, as a blogger, we are sacrificing a certain amount of that privacy. Even then, it can feel at times, you are only talking to one or two people, especially on twitter, but it needs to be noted it is for the whole wide web to see).

I do not know how the media gets it's hands on people's facebook material, but I for one do not want to read the status of a grieving person, or a person in a difficult situation. their message to their friends and loved ones should stay just that.

Of course, the article that prompted this, the woman herself may have released the details in order for the other party to see them, on the chance he was not able to access online.

Which then brings us to the kids. The kids who will grow up with every thought and deed they ever committed following them around for their whole adult life.

I don't have an answer, but it is something quite complex to think about. Mind bogglingly difficult, with what complications and consequences may follow.

It's alien enough to make you think - online, everyone can hear you scream*.

Linking up with some Grace for FYBF.
* (that's a joke for the old people)

Reflection of Facebook

Linking up a short, old post, which pretty much sums up what I've learnt from the internet:

This week on Facebook, I have learnt about the Druze Community - always fascinating to learn something new and realise how little you know. I have picked up an expression from a French band "Be there, Be hot!" and I have also learnt what a box gap is (we don't really need to dwell on this - but I shake my head at the thought, and what's with the women that post these photos??)

So this is a reflective snap shot of Facebook - could be so interesting and informative, occasionally is but usually isn't.

Linking up with The Lounge.

And a reminder that next week is First of the Month Fiction, for those that wish to join in - look for it Tuesday....

How to Blog and Tweet without getting Sued...a MUST read book for us all!

A few weeks ago, someone (and I didn't note down who, sorry - but please link your post in the comments, as you did a great summary for bloggers) posted about what they learnt from Mark Pearson's session at one of the blogging conferences. It was a great post and inspired me to buy the book, which I have devoured with an unhealthy fascination.

What I learnt most from it, is that there are HUGE risks facing our children, as this social media world is evolving and they are at the forefront of it all. Obviously as bloggers, we are taking on risk, and should be educating ourselves in this area - but what about non bloggers? Just Joe Random twitter user? The kid with a Facebook page and Instagram account? This book is a must read for any parent with children heading down this path. While not aimed at this market, it highlights, in a round about way the issues that are coming to court. (and as I learnt from the book, my ideas are not copyrighted, so feel free to write another book specific to this idea, Mark Pearson).

Images were lifted off social media to use in ad campaigns around the world - the American girl whose image was used on Australian billboards was not able to claim compensation (while her image was made fun of in a far flung country).

People have been sued for their negative Tripadvisor reviews. People don't think twice about writing the most malicious reviews they can, but they should.

We all just heard about the 16 year old twitter user at the Pink concert (criminal charges pending), and the 19 year old currently in jail for what he wrote on his FB page...a joke in poor taste, involving massacres, but a joke nonetheless. What about if the damage is amplified when you go travelling? One harmless joke about Royals could see you jailed once you land in certain countries...Countries quite close to our shores, so not out of the realm of a holiday destination.

What about those careless retweets? Every time you do that, you are actually 'publishing' the words, and can be accountable.

There is so much that the book touches on, and it really got me thinking about the brave new world that our kids are growing into. Who is guiding them on the rules and etiquette if not us, their parents? But what if we don't know ourselves?

I ordered my copy online but I'm sure all book stores would have a copy. I can not recommend this enough. If you are a blogger, there is plenty of good advice - but if you are a parent, I think it starts the conversation on a number of issues that we are only now seeing enter the legal systems of the world. Our little private online world is not so private, or privacy settings all but useless and our images and words can be taken and used against us. It may not necessarily be big brother, but big business is watching.

Linking up with #ArchiveLove

It's Too Quiet..

Has anyone noticed on social media, when someone goes quiet it either means they're really busy, away or not happy?
I've approached a few friends when they've gone quiet to check they're alright, as their silence rings loudly in my ears. Interestingly, one friend in the States was surprised I asked but admitted they were depressed. My noticing across the airwaves made them happy, as they felt the need to cover it up in person.
I asked someone the other day, and she said she was trying not to be a 'Negative Nellie'.
Why are we allowed to share so much on social media - photos of kids, sporting success of kids, meals, what we're doing, but not really share how we're feeling? If we are friends, isn't that part of the deal?
The bad with the good? Doesn't that sharing the bad take a weight off our shoulders? Problem shared is a problem halved and all that?
Obviously there is an aspect where you don't want to share problems with the whole world, so maybe the problem is the social media audience is too big, but I always feel for my friends feeling shut out (by their own making) from people happy to support them through whatever it is.
A while back I was having a bumpy time and my fb reflected an overly-aggressive anger towards the mechanic who had hijacked my car for 4 days, requiring me to walk between 4 suburbs twice a day. Only one person picked up that it wasn't just about the car - but I felt better for venting hostility at the world, and even better that someone was astute enough to notice it wasn't my normal voice.
I don't really have a solution, but perhaps if one of your friends is quiet, check in on how they are, privately of course. Think of this as R U OK social media day...

The People of the faceBook

So one thing is clear, everyone has an opinion about what should be put on Facebook, how often, and what it means about the person posting...There are judgements flying thick and fast in the ether and in print. The latest craze in blogs seems to be the demonising of “oversharing” parents. My question is WHO makes these rules? Who says what is interesting? Who says what is needy or approval seeking and what is appropriate?

I took myself off because I was beginning to get irritated by my friends (no, I'm not innocent in this judgmental behaviour either), and because I was constantly being told I didn't use it 'properly' (I talked books, sport and movies, never posted pictures of the kids, rarely even mentioned them). Ironically, the same people who complained are the ones suggesting that I go back on...While my daily post was annoying them, they miss it now that it's gone.

A friend posted on his profile (ahh, the irony!) the Guardian article that stated if you have a lot of FB friends and post frequently, you are probably exhibiting Grand Narcissistic traits (or Gross Egotism). It was a criticism of frequent posters yet while he posts rarely, he's also on Twitter - so is a daily post on FB more narcissistic than frequent posts on twitter and occasional posts on FB?

There are so many shades on this new and ethereal beast - a friend’s teenage daughter said people looked at a girl’s FB page to see how many friends she had and how many likes their comments got before deciding whether to be friends with her. I was unsure whether this 'friends' meant on FB or in real life as well...I suspect it was both, which makes me shudder, given in 10 years we'll have a teenage girl ourselves...

Why do people choose to use it? Why do they choose to share what they share? Is it healthy? I know for me, there was a certain level of addiction, and I've had 3 friends take themselves off, only to come back on. I was chatting in an online forum about Fahrenheit 451 and one member posted the following " There was no Internet in the 50s, and here am I, in Edinburgh in Scotland, writing to you in where? California? Does this reduce the isolation, or increase it?" Does Facebook, with our constant chatter bring us closer together or divide us?

In a possible backlash, I’ve noticed some posts along the lines of “I may not comment on them, but I love to see the photos of your family and hear about your daily lives. Repost if you feel the same – I’ll be watching”. However, this post opens with “To prove a point”. Is the point that a lot of people are happy with the deemed over sharing or is the point that no one looks at what anyone else posts on Facebook and it is a purely egotistical exercise? I guess it’s all up to how you use it…