"Because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are" Bertolt Brecht

 
It's been a strange week here. One of the kiddos has been in Japan, so the house has been strangely empty, heralding that future soon to come.

I had an operation, and while it's all fine, I'm on a soft diet so eating in a manner which I never do. I also can't do my usual things, so I feel quite in limbo.

It is feeling like a stranger in familiar surroundings. The view is the same but also different.

I am really looking forward to getting my normal back, even though a week ago I was feeling overwhelmed by my normal. As John Spence said "Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly." 

Linking with #You'rethestar #FineWhatever #WWWhimsy #TalkaboutitTuesday #TrafficJamReboot #TheRandom

Lack of Relevance

A friend made a comment about greiving her lack of relevance. To me, though retired, this woman is actively contributing to society in an amazing way, promoting well being and certain organisations in an officially recognised manner so I was quite surprised her perception would be that, even momentarily.

I have another friend, though still very attractive, lament the loss of her looks, and how she used to be able to 'get' any man she set her sights on, and now she was 'invisible'.

Far too frequently, I read the stories of the empty nesters plummeting into a depression.

All wrapped up in a 'lack of relevance'.

Last night, I had a dream that I had to tell my husband that I couldn't have children anymore. He got very upset* and I was quite upset. In real life we decided we were too old to have children years ago, so why this dream was so medically elaborate with the testing, and why we were so upset is a little beyond me, but clearly, down in my subconscious, knowing this day is coming somehow was triggered by my discussion about lack of relevance the day before.

One thing I have found, as I've aged, is I'm running out of excuses. I have to make things happen, and I have to say yes more often to activities as the opportunities will eventually cease due to frailty. I can no longer say 'I'm too busy with the kids' not to actively protest the inequities (or just plain stupidity) in the world.

I guess like Grandma Moses, maybe the freedom old age brings is a blessing, if combined with confidence. The trick is just to do it, no matter what the 'it' might be.

Relevance refers to being 'Meaningful or purposeful in current society or culture' and I guess in this youth driven world we can feel that pass us by, especially as our own children become dynamic adults themselves. 

However, it also means 'Having a bearing on or connection with the matter at hand' and that is entirely up to us. At any point in time we can jump in feet first and start something - a new hobby, a new career even, or become a voice for those in need of one. 

If you are feeling lost, maybe now is the time to find out who YOU really are. You without the parameters set by others, Society has set a lot of rules for women but maybe now is your time to see what you can achieve unfettered.

Once free of the excuse of obligations, what will you do with your one and only precious life?**

Linking with #FriendshipFriday



*When I told my husband about the dream he burst out laughing and asked "Yeah, like we want to have more kids now!"
** Borrowing from Mary Oliver.

Seriously...I'm kidding

I was deeply upset when I read the news from Paris, and then angry. Very angry that they picked on young people and families, all innocent of involvement in anything at all. The anger scares me a little. It's not fear, it's an aggressive emotion. I don't think it's a good reaction to this tragedy, but there it is regardless.

A while ago I read Ellen DeGeneres book, Seriously...I'm Kidding. It's a very funny, entertaining read that made me laugh out loud a lot, in very public places. It does, however, end on a serious(ish) note.  While describing her secret to happiness, among other things, she says "Contribute to the world. Help people. Help one person....Just help. Make an impact. Show someone you care...even if we try the teeniest tiniest bit we can make this world a much happier and healthier one. And if we try even harder, we can do some pretty spectacular things."


If the disaffected chose this path, instead of one of selfish destruction, image the different world we'd live in?

However, we can only manage ourselves, so we need to increase our contribution, or offer a contribution to a neighbour, friend, or stranger. We can make the world a better place, and let's face it, we really need to. If like me you are feeling anger, then channel that energy into something positive. If you can't change the world globally, just start with a neighbour. It's easy and if we all make life better for one person, then it's a movement on a grand scale of sorts.

Here's hoping we eventually see some pretty spectacular things.

Linking with the BookNook

Conversations with Change

I write a lot about change, because I think a lot about change. Changes I need to make, changes I want for the world, changes that are happening to me, whether I like it or not.

Jodi Gibson wrote a post questioning how much we are shaped by our past? I would argue a lot, be that us avoiding being our parents, repeating past mistakes, or being the person we want to be, that we weren't before or wasn't modelled for us.

It doesn't have to be big, traumatic moments that shape us. All moments shape us, and how we think.  All things, big and small shape us, so we really can't judge what an effect they have on us, as even the tiniest thing makes us act differently 'next time'. It's not good or bad. To put it in the most simplistic terms, I buy the books and board games for my kids that I loved as a kid but we didn't own - I seem to love those ones more than the ones I had. I don't know why I do this, but the pattern is there. Like it or not, we are the sum of a million tiny moments and we build on that with every minute of every day. We can work to avoid reacting one way, or the past can cause us to react a certain way but the end result is still the same. We are shaped by our experience, even if it is to make sure our experience doesn't shape us.

The good news is we can change. It is easy for us to change. At any point in time, we can take a different path. It's not the huge hurdle we think it is, we just need to add that moment of decision into the pile that shapes us.

You can turn over a new leaf at any moment, create a new beginning just with a thought or tiny action. It will slink by unheralded, but in time you will look back and see the change.

If you fail, decide again, and again if need be. It's as simple as that. Intellectually we scare ourselves away from change, as it seems so big. Yet it is just another one of those moments that pile up and shape us over time...As Winston Churchill said "To improve is to change, to be perfect is to change often."

Linking up for 

If I ruled the world....

Linking up this old post with the #IMustConfess, because if I was Prime Minister, this would be the change that I instigated. I would also tax big corporations (and the rich) so that the poor, elderly and struggling got a lift. I'd focus heavily on education, both schools and University, making a good education attainable for all. (I might also make the Minister for Women female, but that's another story...)

Cambodia has an incomprehensible recent history. Our trip to Siem Reap was a life changer for me. If you want to have a holiday that ticks all the boxes - history, wonders, luxury, relaxation, great food, culture, then Siem Reap is the place to go. The biggest thing that you learn however, is that things don't have to be the way they are. We can all work together to bring about change. For those interested, my travel blog covers what Siem Reap could teach the world otherwise, here's what it taught me.

Our tour guide for the temples worked with an orphanage, the land mine museum was opened to fund an orphanage and the removal of land mines, every restaurant seemed to have some program that put back into the community, even the large chain hotels and the street markets seemed to do something to give to the people.

There is no reason, in our wealthy economy that corporations couldn't do the same. We as individuals could do the same. As we build up a level playing field in our own country, we could then reach over the oceans and continue to build a better planet. If everything we do has a community development inbuilt, our lifestyle wouldn't need to change greatly, but our way of thinking would. With that, would surely come a more peaceful and harmonious existence across the globe.

In New National Anthem, T.I says 'stop waiting on folk to help you, help yourself, it starts with you...get yourself out, reach back, get somebody else out...and that’s the way we’re going to get ahead...sittin' around waiting on government to do something for us, ain't never gonna happen partner, they don’t give a fuck about us.'

The positive thing is, we don't need to wait for me to rule the world, we can just start changing our ways. If we all start to change how we do what we do, then the benefits will soon follow. Ultimately, it's all up to us. Nobody needs to get left behind.

Linking up with #IMustConfess

Be the change you want to see in the world (mark 2)

I have written a post with this title before but it's a fitting quote so I'm using it again, thank you Ghandi.

I was in discussion with Handbag Mafia on her interesting post on the No Gender December. She and I view this topic differently, both agreed it should change, but differing on who should make it happen. It's prompted me to write about instigating change, because to me, it's an easy fix. There are certain changes that can be made by the pressure of people power, and this is one of them. The mighty consumer only needs to redirect their dollar, and email the relevant stores as to why they redirected their dollar, and I can tell you now, if enough people do this, the stores will stop this type of marketing immediately.

The hitch, it may be more expensive, or you can't get your child the thing they want for Christmas. Here's the cold facts, you need to weigh up if you want the change enough to inconvenience yourself. Christmas doesn't have to be about getting toys, we choose to celebrate it that way. At any point we can change it. Santa doesn't have to bring what you ask for (remember when you asked for a pony?), we've lead them to expect that.

If you really want change, it requires more than sharing a facebook status. It needs time, or money, or going without - removing yourself from the equation. It can be hard work, or the unpopular choice.

I am greatly concerned about the environment, and I've altered a lot of the way I consume items and power (and resources) over the last few years. However, once a fortnight I sit down to watch F1, and I love it. Unfortunately, I know I do more damage to the environment with my tv on in that 2 hours than all my power & energy saving manoeuvres in the year. Thousands of people fly around the globe to watch it, and the cars burn millions of gallons of fuel to race for sport. My TV tuned into the race means advertisers support their enterprise. I am part of the problem. I can happily not use the clothes dryer, but I'm not prepared to inconvenience myself by not following a sport. I can't pretend I'm not solving the problem because it's too hard, or too big, I just don't want to give up something I like.

I pick this example as it's not money related, it's purely choice. I am not perfect, I understand that we don't really want to put ourselves out for our causes. I have also given you permission to call me out in my hypocrisy. This hypocrisy is how I know that the refusal not to buy the toys from the cheaper Gender marketing stores is just a rationalisation. We all do it, and while it's not admirable, it's human. In the No Gender December campaign, you can complain the government won't legislate against it, or you can start a movement to change it yourself.

If you really want change, you have to step up to the plate and make it happen. Go without something, if it means you aren't funding the status quo you're trying to change. In the story of Aki Ra, none of the selfish rationalisations took precedence. Whenever he hit a stumbling block, he worked around it. There's a lot we can learn from this exceptional man.

You really want change? It starts with you.

PS I am not for the Gender marketing, but I've always just ignored it. In Hangbag Mafia's post, she links to some interesting articles re the link to Domestic Violence. I'd love it if the shops stopped doing it, and if every 'girls' toy wasn't pink. I'd also prefer more well rounded Mother's Day and Father's Day promotions, while we're at it.

Linking up with #OpenSlather

I Wonder

I was at the Rodriguez concert the other night, and I was struck with a thought when he sang the lyrics:

"And I wonder about the soldier that dies.
 I wonder will this hatred ever end"

I thought how funny it was that he became the soundtrack to the movement against apartheid in a country so far away, and he was totally unaware of it until well after the fact. Then I started thinking about how no one would have ever thought that apartheid was going to end, no matter what they did to try and bring change. Certainly Nelson Mandela would never have believed he was going to become the Prime Minister of the country and revered across the globe, as he sat there for much of his life in that tiny prison cell.

Then the big thought hit me. Maybe we are looking at things all wrong? That feeling that the issues are so overwhelming that we may as well not bother. All the problems of the world can be fixed - the poverty, terrorism, climate change, ebola, cancer, the wars, all of it. Nothing is insurmountable, it will, eventually come to pass.

So maybe we need to see our tiny actions as one part of a movement, that the numbers swell and the action is a surge that can eventually create change. Rosa Parks wasn't the one and only protestor of the day. There were thousands, all individuals making small stands. Her's was picked by the media to showcase, and thus we all know it nearly 60 years on. Not in any way diminishing her bravery, I'm just pointing out she was part of a movement, even if it wasn't planned that way.

I went to bed composing this post in my head, but in the morning, I decided it was too rambling and didn't bother writing it. Then I received this in my email:

"There are people who change the world everyday… People like you."

So I took that as a sign and sat down and wrote. Let's stop being overwhelmed by the problems in the world and lets fix this thing!

Linking up with #SunshineSundays  on Change.
For those that haven't signed up, My Journey, Am I there yet? sends out thoughts for the day - even if they aren't applicable to me at the time, I've used them as prompts for stories or blog posts. Definitely worth a look. 




If you haven't heard the story, get the film Searching For Sugarman from the video shop (or download on whatever you legally do that on).

Beginnings

The best thing about beginnings is that you don't know that's what it is. It slips by unheralded. It's just a new person you've met, a new activity you've tried or something for the first time, so new that you don't even know it's a habit yet.

It also means that at any point in time, a path can change. Like at the end of Casablanca, where the enemies become friends, "This could be the start of a beautiful friendship", it is the "This could be..." moment. Remember that any moment can be transformed into a "This could be..." moment, if you choose to make it.

The bad doesn't have to stay bad, the difficult can change, and life can get better. You don't have to change everything, just make one choice in a moment. Only time will prove it a new beginning.

“The chief beauty about time
is that you cannot waste it in advance.
The next year, the next day, the next hour are lying ready for you,
as perfect, as unspoiled,
as if you had never wasted or misapplied
a single moment in all your life.
You can turn over a new leaf every hour
if you choose.”
― Arnold Bennett

Linking up with 2nd on the Second I like this post because it reminds me that any new venture can start right this second, the moment I decide to start it. I don't need to put it off until I 'have enough money, have the kids back in school, have blah blah (insert whatever procrastinating excuse I'm using not to start).
As Dr Seuss would say "Sometimes you never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory". So go and make today special!

Be the change you want to see in the world

You know it will be an indulgent post when it opens with a Ghandi quote, but blame Zanni with her prompt of Earth for Sunshine Sundays. I racked my brain* and nothing came. Then came an email I receive weekly from someone who signs off  with the Marshall McLuhen quote "There are no passengers on spaceship earth. We are all crew."

Fuelled with the wisdom of the Lego Movie (which I can't quote because it will give things away), I decided I need to make some changes. I am currently looking at a planet, that is quickly destroying itself, and at a globe of people that don't seem to care about each other.

I have children, and I love them enough not to want them to be parents that have to watch their children suffer, and that is the time frame we are now talking about for climate change.

A few years ago I started looking at the packaging of what I purchased, and the overall level of consumerism. I cut back, but I'm no saint, and the over abundance of wrapping is in the bin each week again.

I drink tea and coffee, I fly, I drive (and watch motorsport). I'm not going to get all preachy to you. I am talking about me. I need to make some changes. I need to make a difference.

I would like to do something to stop some of the insane governing decisions that are announced daily. I don't want to just sit complaining about the current government to whoever will listen. I want to start something that makes a difference. That stops the downtrodden being even worse off.

The problem is, I don't know what to do, or how. I just get overwhelmed with all the terrible things we do on this planet, all the needless suffering and all the hate & violence that seems to lurk in every nationality.

So, I will think a little on this, and start with easy small changes. Then hopefully grow it.

Feel free to throw me ideas.

Linking up with Sunshine Sundays.

Pssst: Vote for me if you aren't in it yourselves! www.surveymonkey.com/s/BAB2014



*On a side note, I thought you wracked your brain, but apparently, you do not.

A time for change

As I preface all my political posts, you are welcome to disagree with me, but I will delete any abusive comments aimed at me, other commenters or the members of the Liberal Party as individuals.

As someone who grew up in the hangover of the cold war, where Communism was feared as evil and the dictatorships around the world were far from benign, I acknowledge I have a somewhat knee-jerk reaction when someone wants to control the media and stop the people of a nation accessing the news in any form other than party press releases.

That said, while we may be divided on our opinions on refugees, gay marriage, education, medicare and other political issues, I can not fathom there is anyone, Liberal or Labor, that approves of silencing the media unless they only promote positive party propaganda.

We are proud to be a democracy, we have joined forces to defend that right in other countries around the globe. A democracy, in order to work, requires informed voters. The media needs to tell both sides of the argument, so the voter can weigh up where they stand on the issue. The people of Australia need to be very alarmed if this right to the freedom of speech is being taken away from them, in the dubious form of 'funding cuts'. Even that act of censorship is covert and doused in propaganda.

Look throughout history, whenever people come to power and take control of the media, it is usually because they are doing the wrong thing. If they truly believe they are acting in the best interests of the people, they can take some criticism and let the benefits of the policy speak in their defence. If you need to control the media, there is usually something that needs to be hidden. That is what the Australian public needs to be most concerned with. If it needs to be kept secret, it is probably not in our best interests.

Liberal MP Mr Craig Laundy said it best "as a proud Liberal, they (the ABC voicing their opinions) ABSOLUTELY have the right to do so without fear or favour. The best part of 'freedom of the press' is that you get a HUGE variety of views - just as you get in society." He goes on to say, that if you don't like what the ABC are saying, seek out the other opinion, the other side of the argument. Change the channel. Even Voltaire, who distrusted democracy because it gave power to the 'idiocy of the masses', staunchly defended free speech.

This quote, and those opinions voiced by Mr Turnbull, defending editorial independence, give me hope that not all is rotten in the governing party. However, if the Prime Minister intends to take away the access to independent media from the Australian public, then everybody, no matter who you vote for, needs to unite in action and take a stand.

I am not advocating to throw out the Liberal party, nor even demand another election, but Mr Abbott needs to be told that the people, whom he represents, finds his behaviour unacceptable and he should step aside. Tony Abbott is a representative of the Australian people. It seems to me that through either arrogance or denial, he has forgotten his actions are accountable to us. We deserve the right to be informed, honestly, of what those actions are. We need to demand the right to access independent news.

I would also like to remind Mr Abbott that the ABC is not just a news station. They provide locally produced entertainment, children's television and film. He is punishing not just the journalists, but the Australian Film and Television industry. Isn't this something he should be promoting? It appears to me this threatened action is a personal vendetta, rather than a just and considered funding issue. Politics is no place for those that can't keep their personal feelings and beliefs in check.

Laundy and Turnbull clearly do not agree with what the ABC was reporting, but they do agree on the journalistic independence. This is the stance of a true politician. Let's get a real politician running our country. It's time for a change.

What to do?

Get out in force at rallys. Make your opinion noticed. Sydney March in March is on the 16th at 1pm.
https://www.facebook.com/events/267057476785262/

Get Up have a petition and are fund raising to take on this battle. https://www.getup.org.au/campaigns/media/save-the-abc--2/protect-our-abc--2

Spread the word and start the conversation. Think of the implications of this move. Is unbiased information, or uncontrolled media really something we're prepared to lose?

Please add other suggestions in the comments below.

No matter what your political leanings, it is time to take a stand. As Moore states in V for Vendetta "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people". We are at a fork in the road. Which path are you prepared to take? Let your voice, and the voice of others, be heard.

Linking up with this old post with The Lounge for the prompt of television, after tech issues made my best intentions go awry. Sorry that the plan of action is out of date.

Laundy quote from the Sydney Morning Herald article: http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/malcolm-turnbull-defends-abc-after-tony-abbotts-attack-20140129-31n5z.html#ixzz2rwPCbMlG