Back to the bookclub discussion of Beck Weather's Left for Dead (2 previous posts here). One of the most amazing things about Beck's rescue, was overcoming the impossibility of it even happening. He writes "Nobody told Peach about this. And since she didn't know it couldn't have been done, she did it." Very much like the poem of Edgar Albert Guest , sometimes the impossible is achieved, because you don't listen to logic. Your determination overrides the roadblocks.
Colonel Madan Khatri Chhetri, the brave man who took on all the risk in the rescue effort said, as to why he did it, that while he believed it was the right thing to do, that wasn't the reason he risked everything. "I didn't want to second guess myself everyday for the rest of my life."
I love the honesty of this reason. The hero in us all is there, and maybe not on the high moral ground as a superbeing, but just a person who feels they have to try. Not diminishing the extraordinary courage he exhibited in his actions, but those that do great things are not on a different plane from us until their choices elevate them. In They are all my family, Riordon says something along the lines of 'What kind of person decides to try this insane rescue without a proper plan? A person with no other choice.' Sometimes the greatest heroes just do what they feel they have to.
Beck acknowledges Madan as the most extraordinary person in the book. He took all the risk when really he didn't need to at all. He wasn't even on the mountain, but he put himself in great danger to save another. When Beck's wife writes a thank you letter to Madan, they learn that after all the lives he has saved, this was the first time he was ever thanked. "Maybe we all just take our heroes for granted."
So two things to learn from this book:
(1) Don't get caught up in the negative assumptions of others, just set your mind to it and make it happen.
(2) Don't assume those doing heroic things are any different to you (don't use that as an excuse to not do the same), and most of all, thank them. Acknowledge the good deeds around you.
As I didn't want to go into great detail of the rescue to save it for those who are yet to read the book, I'll share the details of this later rescue Madan performed, made more courageous when you know he's had experience with it not always working as planned.
Linking with #FortheloveofBLOG #DreamteamBloggers #BookNook #The FabulousParty and #TwinklyTuesday
Showing posts with label Left for Dead. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Left for Dead. Show all posts
Monday, 6 November 2017
Wednesday, 24 May 2017
Hobbies
I mentioned in this previous post I'd be using Left for Dead for a few posts, and it fits perfectly with #Lifethisweek's theme of hobbies. The book is by Beck Weathers and to join in as a book club type discussion, grab a copy and read it. (A&R $16.99 for Oz or Amazon for the US).
A hobby is an activity done regularly for pleasure in one's leisure time. Most hobbies are harmless, but sometimes hobbies can have a detrimental affect on the family. Only you can tell when a hobby is taking you away from what really matters. In Left for Dead, Beck notes how a lot of the big events in his children's lives occurred in his absence, while he was climbing mountains, a very extreme hobby that became a ruling obsession for him, as he became "increasingly self absorbed" in his pursuit, he emotionally abandoned his family. His climbing had driven his wife and children away from him, Their family vacations became more about Beck going climbing, leaving his wife to look after the children. One of the saddest parts in the book is when his teenage son says, with no malice, "I never really noticed when he was gone, because he was absent when he was here." He'd get up four in the morning to work out and then come home, eat dinner and fall asleep. Peach concludes "It was very boring. We had no social life."
Beck was never available to do anything with his wife and the kids, and he began to project, I can only assume to deny any guilt, that his wife Peach was unhappy because she needed a hobby of her own. Yet Peach was happy taking care of the kids, she wasn't happy with an absent partner and seeing her kids grow up without a dad.
When Beck wasn't climbing, he'd talk about climbing. He'd assumed everyone was interested in his climbing, when usually they were just asking out of politeness. We had a group of runners over for dinner, and all they wanted to talk about was running. The marathons they'd done, the next one they were doing. Whenever I tried to change the subject, it would be quickly switched back. They were like an exclusive little club and had no interest at all in anyone or anything else. The conversation never altered once throughout the night. When they left, I felt the only reason I was there was to clean up after them, and vowed never to invite them again. Not only was it rude, it was incredibly boring.
Beck also became very singular in his plans for climbing. One family weekend away he couldn't attend because he couldn't take the Friday off to leave early, and then Peach discovers he'd booked a week away to climb soon after. She also heard about the plan to climb Everest in a restaurant, when someone they knew congratulated Beck on his upcoming expedition. He'd spent $65k on himself without a discussion, Even though they still lived together, when he was in town, they were living very separate lives. Peach and the kids had started taking holidays without him when he booked a climb. He had forced them to make a life without him.
Obviously, mountaineering is extreme. And obviously it's important to follow your dreams. However, we need to remember that everything comes with a cost, and you have to weigh up what you are sacrificing to achieve your dream. It's worth asking yourself a few questions:
1. How much does the hobby keep you away from the family?
2. How much are you missing out on?
3. If the kids and your partner cheer you on, do you cheer them on in return in their endeavours, even if they aren't the same hobby?
4. Does your partner have to sacrifice his interests to support the kids while you're following your interests?
5. Are you missing from family holidays, even though you have gone on the trip? If you seem to be having a completely different holiday to the rest of the family, there's probably a problem.
6. Are you forcing them to live a life without you?
7. When you aren't doing your hobby, are you present? I mean don't have your head in your phone, make sure you aren't talking to other people while never making an effort to really relate to those you live with.
8, Can you name your kids hobbies? Can you talk about them? Do you know what's going on in their lives? What about your spouse? What are they up to?
It's very health to have hobbies and interests that you love, however it's more important not to neglect those that matter to you in the process. I'm not saying you have to give it up, I'm saying you have to work out the balance.
Linking with #BooknificentThursdays
Beck was never available to do anything with his wife and the kids, and he began to project, I can only assume to deny any guilt, that his wife Peach was unhappy because she needed a hobby of her own. Yet Peach was happy taking care of the kids, she wasn't happy with an absent partner and seeing her kids grow up without a dad.
When Beck wasn't climbing, he'd talk about climbing. He'd assumed everyone was interested in his climbing, when usually they were just asking out of politeness. We had a group of runners over for dinner, and all they wanted to talk about was running. The marathons they'd done, the next one they were doing. Whenever I tried to change the subject, it would be quickly switched back. They were like an exclusive little club and had no interest at all in anyone or anything else. The conversation never altered once throughout the night. When they left, I felt the only reason I was there was to clean up after them, and vowed never to invite them again. Not only was it rude, it was incredibly boring.
Beck also became very singular in his plans for climbing. One family weekend away he couldn't attend because he couldn't take the Friday off to leave early, and then Peach discovers he'd booked a week away to climb soon after. She also heard about the plan to climb Everest in a restaurant, when someone they knew congratulated Beck on his upcoming expedition. He'd spent $65k on himself without a discussion, Even though they still lived together, when he was in town, they were living very separate lives. Peach and the kids had started taking holidays without him when he booked a climb. He had forced them to make a life without him.
Obviously, mountaineering is extreme. And obviously it's important to follow your dreams. However, we need to remember that everything comes with a cost, and you have to weigh up what you are sacrificing to achieve your dream. It's worth asking yourself a few questions:
1. How much does the hobby keep you away from the family?
2. How much are you missing out on?
3. If the kids and your partner cheer you on, do you cheer them on in return in their endeavours, even if they aren't the same hobby?
4. Does your partner have to sacrifice his interests to support the kids while you're following your interests?
5. Are you missing from family holidays, even though you have gone on the trip? If you seem to be having a completely different holiday to the rest of the family, there's probably a problem.
6. Are you forcing them to live a life without you?
7. When you aren't doing your hobby, are you present? I mean don't have your head in your phone, make sure you aren't talking to other people while never making an effort to really relate to those you live with.
8, Can you name your kids hobbies? Can you talk about them? Do you know what's going on in their lives? What about your spouse? What are they up to?
It's very health to have hobbies and interests that you love, however it's more important not to neglect those that matter to you in the process. I'm not saying you have to give it up, I'm saying you have to work out the balance.
Linking with #BooknificentThursdays
Monday, 15 May 2017
You can't turn a freight train around in a moment
I mentioned on Facebook that I was reading the book, Left for Dead by Beck Weathers and that I would be writing a series of posts on it, so if anyone wants to join in as a book club type discussion, grab a copy and read it. (A&R $16.99 for Oz or Amazon for the US).
The book is written by one of the people in the 1996 Everest disaster, who was left for dead. It is the story of his rescue, but more than that, it is a brutally honest look at a marriage, depression and the effect neglect and the high cost of a selfish pursuit of dreams. Those are the issues I'll be discussing in a series of posts.
Towards the end of the book, Beck writes "You don't turn a fifty-something freight train around in a moment, even with an epiphany as profound as mine...I remind myself of what is important to me."
Yesterday, I came in late to a post on facebook since deleted by a mum struggling with her teen and her situation. I think as hard as life gets, we need to remember what is important, and that change, all change, takes a time. With people, we can't instantly 'fix' things. There is no overnight cure to ANYTHING. But little by little we can modify behaviour and slowly the change shines through.
When we feel lost or overwhelmed, we need to remember what is important and focus on that, and maybe that alone, if that is all we are strong enough for at that moment. Maybe that is enough to anchor us through the storm.
Have you read Left for Dead? How do you keep perspective when the going gets tough?
Linking with #MLSTL. Not specifically linked to anything, just have to write a short story today. Good luck for those of you in the States easing restrictions. Stay safe and vigilant on Social Distancing. (and remember the app doesn't work properly on iPhones so don't wait for that to alert you to get tested.)
The book is written by one of the people in the 1996 Everest disaster, who was left for dead. It is the story of his rescue, but more than that, it is a brutally honest look at a marriage, depression and the effect neglect and the high cost of a selfish pursuit of dreams. Those are the issues I'll be discussing in a series of posts.
Towards the end of the book, Beck writes "You don't turn a fifty-something freight train around in a moment, even with an epiphany as profound as mine...I remind myself of what is important to me."
Yesterday, I came in late to a post on facebook since deleted by a mum struggling with her teen and her situation. I think as hard as life gets, we need to remember what is important, and that change, all change, takes a time. With people, we can't instantly 'fix' things. There is no overnight cure to ANYTHING. But little by little we can modify behaviour and slowly the change shines through.
When we feel lost or overwhelmed, we need to remember what is important and focus on that, and maybe that alone, if that is all we are strong enough for at that moment. Maybe that is enough to anchor us through the storm.
Have you read Left for Dead? How do you keep perspective when the going gets tough?
Linking with #MLSTL. Not specifically linked to anything, just have to write a short story today. Good luck for those of you in the States easing restrictions. Stay safe and vigilant on Social Distancing. (and remember the app doesn't work properly on iPhones so don't wait for that to alert you to get tested.)
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