My, what big fears you have, my dear!

We get very excited when we contemplate a new venture. We enthusiastically pack a basket of goodies but before we set off down the new path, the doubts begin to set in. Should I even try? I probably won’t be good at it. What if it’s a mistake? It won’t work so why even bother?

For some reason, the human brain isn’t always our best friend. Instead of cheering us on from the sidelines, it stands in the doorway of change, tearing us down until we decide it’s all too hard and a waste of time.

Most of the time, we instantly believe what our mind tells us. We don’t doubt for a minute the validity of the fears that take control. Yet we would never let someone talk to our friends like that. We would defend them. If a friend raised such self-doubt, we’d be quick to challenge them, and encourage them to at least try. So why not do the same for ourselves?

If you have a mean little voice in your head luring you off the path, then you need to challenge it. You need to argue with the doubt so it can’t become too powerful. You must defend yourself and your abilities. If the negative thoughts aren’t logical, then you need to push past them and carry on your merry way. As the old German proverb says 'Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is'.

We need to remember that fear is normal but sometimes stupid. Fear is like the little devil on your shoulder but he has no angel on the other shoulder arguing back, so he just expands and becomes stronger. It is time to tame the beast.

I’m not saying to ignore all your fear, as it can be a self-protecting mechanism and a great survival tool. I’m talking about challenging those irrational fears that stop you when you really have nothing to lose. So if you can decide the fear has any basis, if it can’t be refuted, then take heed. However if it’s just telling you that you won’t succeed, then ask why not? You might find the fear slinks back off into the forest. There’s a lot of truth to the saying ‘Self-doubt killed more dreams than failure ever did.’

So like Little Red, skip happily off on your new venture, whatever that may be, as you know that story works out well for everyone in the end (except for the rascally wolf). Remember if you can change your focus, you’ll change your life. “Miracles start to happen when you give as much thought and energy to your dreams as you do your fears” – Unknown.

Linking with #FavouriteFotos

Sway

"Don't let the opinions of the average man sway you. Dream, and he thinks you're crazy. Succeed, and he thinks you're lucky. Acquire wealth, and he thinks you're greedy. Pay no attention. He simply doesn't understand" Unknown

A friend who is a great traveller, was pregnant, and she mentioned that after the baby was born, they were planning to go away. She paused and looked at me, waiting my reaction. I, of course, asked where and enthused at how great it would be. She breathed a sigh of relief and said "You're the only person that said that. Everyone else keeps saying 'Having kids will clip your wings' and really negative things like that." I commented that cost of kids clipped your wings - that extra airfare, the extra accommodation if you aren't allowed to cram into one room, but the kids themselves? They love it!

Why do we humans jump so quickly to squash other people's dreams? How much is it out of fear for us, and how much is out of a sort of jealousy, that if their life is not what they wanted, neither should ours be? If it's based on fear, they will eventually come around to the idea. If it's jealousy, then they'll never be swayed. Caution is not the same as fear. Listen to reason, think things through but don't heed the naysayers.

In hip hop, there are plenty of 'in your face!' songs, where they retell of how many people told them they would fail, but look at how successful they've become. There is a lot of 'if I can do it, when the world was against me, so can you - just don't listen to them'. I think it's really positive, and a great message. To try and fail is far better than to never even try. When they tell you that you can't, say 'Watch me!'.

If your dreams are too big for those around you, it doesn't mean there's a problem with the dream. Just prove them wrong.

"Laugh at me and walk away. While I stand my ground, I know your thoughts will sway." Luke Garner

(Linking this old post with #FortheloveofBLOG because this week's post has a linky attached for First of the Month Fiction. What drives me crazy is how quick people are toy tell us that we're no good at something, that we'll fail, that their thing is better, that they're no point in trying, and what drives me crazier is how quick we are to believe them. Well, not anymore. bud! )