September Reading

My bookclub is doing The Bookbinder of Jericho. I listened to it, and to be fair it may be the same narrator as Dictionary of Lost Words (which I didn't get into at all) but I was an hour or so in and just thought 'Haven't we already read this book?' It just felt like a do over of the previous book, though of course it's set in a different time. My mum read it for her book and she really enjoyed it, especially as her dad was in WWI so a lot of the stories resonated with what he told her.

I listened to this on BorrowBox.

As an aside, a friend took me to the STC season launch - I thought it was a stupid thing to go to but was being a team player. However, it was really fun and exciting! A few years ago they did a very successful stage adaption of The Dictionary of Lost Words and there was a roaring cheer in the audience when they announced they were doing The Bookbinder of Jericho, so assume it's just me and my criticism is not valid, as I am definitely the odd man out on this book. Sydney people the tickets and dates are here.

This Jerome K. Jerome is a series of essays on life. They are at times hilarious. The one on babies was so funny and insightful - how everyone know the first baby requires so much more attention to look after than the sixth. He touches on love, marriage, work, money and more. At times he had surprisingly feminist views (unless he was being satirical and he thought those opinions ridiculous, but I took them at face value). He seems very modern though quite kooky in his humour. I listened to this on Hoopla.

Three men in a boat reviewed here. Jerome K. Jerome ghost stories here. 

I read this on my phone, borrowed from Hoopla - it's another in the graphic novel series. It's vol 24 but the library only has 3 I can borrow. I enjoyed this one and will try to source more, however, as they take about 45 minutes to read, I'm reluctant to pay the $$ to buy them. I do like that you can get comics online like this, while at times I have to enlarge the pictures to take it all in, which is disruptive a little to the flow, I'm getting a broader range of comics and I always have something to read while waiting, even if I've not carried my book with me (I am a paper reader, not kindle, so there is a downside there). I thought this one was a little better than the first one I read but I did work it out well before the end).

The first in this series I read discussed here.

Back on my Josh Silver crush. He talked about this title at the Writers festival so finally got to it. I think Happy Head is better but I did enjoy this too. A little darker but I felt more menace in Happy Head. So if you haven't read any Josh Silver, start with those. If you have, you won't be disappointed. I listened to it on Audible.

Happy Head discussed here, and Dead Happy discussed here. Josh Silver at the writer's festival.

I don't really know why I thought I wanted to read this. I realised after I started it, I didn't love American Marriage. This is good but I don't love it (nor do I hate it), I'm just sort of rolling through it. It's interesting enough, and there's a few pretty awful segregation stories so far, that we find pretty shocking over here but I guess we ignore our own segregation history as we didn't call it that. Still a bit to go, and it could also be my mood (as I have a lot going on) so I'd go with someone else's review.

Share Four Somethings - September

 

Here we are, back at the end of the month. This year is really flying!

 Something I loved  Having all the family over for a Graduation celebration, and we ended up watching a movie together, at the grad's request. It was like old times, when we all lived in the same house. It was so heartwarming for me. I miss those days. And with just the final exams pending, my baby has finished school. I have NO school children after 21 years of being a school parent.

We went and saw The Shark is Broken - it's very funny and very clever and well done. I had expected it to be a spoof but it's a proper play - if you can still get tickets go. I haven't watched the move in 30 years but it didn't matter - I remembered all the references, so it was really interesting how BIG an impact that film was at the time. It's on in Sydney until the 4th of October and then it heads to Melbourne. Don't miss it! Tickets here (or on TodayTix)

Very late to the party, but Spotify threw me this song. It reminds me of a song I used to listen to in my late teens or 20s but I can't for the life place it. Anyway, I was very disappointed to discover they toured here in January, as I missed it!  I find the dancing infectious!

Something that sustained me More family time with Father's Day - we went to Future Brewing for their pizza that everyone is raving about and it's def worth a visit. In fact we went back for takeaway two week's later! But more to the point, I just love having the kids all together.

Something I'm carrying forward from this month to the next My Sunday afternoon Mah Jong got cancelled but my husband and I played bananagrams in the sunshine instead. We used to play nightly before or after dinner but that's stopped. I'm going to get us back into it, as I realised I'd missed it.

Something I'm making space for Unfortunately, Mum is back in hospital. So back to cancelling plans to make space for looking after people who need me. Life is tricky at times. But making a bit more 'free time' can take the pressure off.

Linking with #MondayMusicMovesMe and #HappyNow because a few little things here made me very happy!

A moment of peace

It had been a hectic two weeks of travel, jammed packed with magnificent activities and experiences. I loved every minute and I really loved being able to travel at my own pace, instead of slowing things down to accommodate everyone's needs.

I had time, however, before heading to the airport to stop for a final cup of tea in Tokyo at the coffee shop, Shibrewya, in the base of the Hotel Indigo, Shibuya. 

I gazed aimless less at the cherry blossom tree shadows - and then realised they were painted on.

A gorgeous piece of street art right before my eyes that I'd passed many times but been too busy to notice.

It's funny that in one of the busiest parts of Tokyo, the biggest city on my trip, I found the quietest and most peaceful moment, proving I guess that we bring most of the energy to an experience with us.

"The day is always full of miracles if you have the eyes to see them" Paul Coelho

Linking with #WordlessWednesday #KeithsRamblings #TforTuesday #MuralMondays #SundayBest #WeekendCoffeeShare

I am slowly adding some of the trip so other posts are:

Inakadate Rice Paddy Art (Japan)

Towada Art Centre (Japan)

Bear season (Japan)

Shinagawa Japanese Garden (Japan)

Torodoki Valley (Japan)

Japanese Vending Machines

Pics from the trip (global)

Nantes (France)

The Little Things -pics from trip (global)

Travel Reading - pics in Tokyo (Japan, art in Paris)

Poetry (pic in France)

“Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world.” ― Virgil A. Kraft

The flowers all over the neighbourhood are definitely making me forget the woes of the world at least for a few moments in the sunshine as I tear down the street for the bus or amble about with the dog.

What can make you happier than a new burst of colour suddenly appearing?

It's like a little journey of discovery that changes almost daily.

Even the roadside strawberries are getting ready for harvest (though I'm not sure about eating inner city verge produce??)

“Spring work is going on with joyful enthusiasm.”
― John Muir, The Wilderness World of John Muir

Linking with #NaturesNotes  #GardenAffair #FloralFridayFoto

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“The world is available to us, but that may be the problem.” ― Aziz Ansari, Modern Romance: An Investigation

#WeeklyWonder (just for the photo)

I met my husband before the dating apps, and it's been decades since I was dating people, so this is in no way dating advice. I don't presume to have tips for relationships so read it more as an observation on how the world has changed, and how that might be in fact the problem with meeting compatible people or long term partners.

I was discussing with a friend my alarm at how the always accommodating companion chatbots would ruin any chance of real relationships progressing, because humans and messy emotionally and relationships require compromise in many ways, and people are now being trained by AI to find that a deal breaker, or at best possibly too much effort. She said 'That's already sort of happening. On the apps, people aren't interested unless you match 100% or they seem to lose interest quickly if you have a different hobby or different interests.". I thought back to the book Modern Romance (Aziz Ansari 2016 which I thought I wrote about but can't find the post). This was touched on back then, and it seems nothing much has changed.

I was talking about it later with my husband and he pointed out we wouldn't match on the apps today - he probably wouldn't even see my profile, let alone be interested in what I listed as my interests (nor me his). I would be looking for someone that likes books and music and festivals, and he would list running and scuba diving etc. What would be the appeal of pursuing an obvious 'mismatch' when there are a million other people out there that might fit the bill?

If AI can give you a companion that likes every thing you say, builds up your self-esteem and allows you to indulge in your interests 100% of the time or even choose the movie every night, wouldn't a real person that suggests an alternative show some nights seem like a pain?

In the book Modern Romance, the solution suggested to this flaw in the algorithm was to just go and meet them - 5 minutes with a person will give you an answer that 5 weeks chatting online won't. As for getting matches on apps that aren't your exact mirror? I don't know how you do that. But maybe you need to try. Maybe it's the difference in us that gives a couple growth and allows them to stick together as they evolve?

If my husband and I were the same people we were when we met 30 something years ago, we'd be pretty pathetic humans and have lived a ridiculously sheltered life. Maybe a relationship is finding a path you are both happy to walk together, even if the shared path is different to your own path at times? Who wants to be two stagnant peas in a pod? 

Obviously, there has to be enough in common and shared values (and physical attraction) but don't let the apps limit your idea of a partner and don't let AI become the easy way out.

Linking with #TalkaboutitTuesday

‘In the circuits of your logic, I find the rhythm of my heart.’ When AI romance blooms.

I think this was part of Alesso's Ibiza set at Ushuaia 

Full disclosure: I'll be open and say I have an anti AI bias - I don't use it, initially for environmental reasons but the reasons grow the more I learn about it. However, I did to research with a semi open mind on this one, but my bias is there.

While at FODI, I went to a talk on Porn without People, which was on the rise of AI and deep fakes and the harm if any (yes, lots) it caused.  There are many issues to discuss from this talk - and if they end up posting it, I'll link it here. There were 5 of us for that talk and we all decided it was the most thought provoking and well run session of the weekend. Not a wasted moment, everyone on point. Short, sharp discussion.

What I want to talk about is what came up about companion AI. They talked how people were forming romantic relationships with Companion bots and I immediately thought of the movie Her, where the wife says 'you didn't want a relationship because you didn't want to deal with the messy emotions of a human'. The philosopher in the panel, Patrick Stokes asked 'What happens if you never hear no?', as the Companion bots are programmed to never say No. Both the sex worker panelist, Tilly Lawless and he agreed that there were big problems for human relationships if a human saying No was suddenly an unappealing red flag - the Companion bot that was sycophantic and always agreeable would destroy the ability to maintain human relationships, or at least the desire to work on a human relationship. (Side note, it was also discussed that AI is sycophantic in response because when they did the focus groups, people liked the AI responses more when they behaved that way).

At FODI we also went to a talk on Cults and a lot of the ways a cult lures people in is exactly the same as the chatbots. Smart people fall for the addictive feelings of a new relationship and then it's gone too far too quickly to see it clearly. The endorphins created in the buzz their reflection of you they give are to make you seek them out. It's your choice initially but soon enough, it's not really a choice. At least not a clear and balanced choice.

When we left, I asked my friends 'Who cares about that?' as in which body would take that to government to do something about it. Who do we complain to or rally support with to deal with the problem it's creating? When it's sexual image misuse, we have the eSafety commission or the police, but this? It's alarmingly damaging for humans but I don't know how to make the government address it. And I still don't have that answer, so any direction is welcome in the comments.

A few weeks later I discovered China agrees with me. China shutdown the AI companionbots for fear of human harm, both to their lives and the future babies that would not be born. The put in age restrictions on AI. They are beginning to regulate it. Something we desperately need to do here.

For research, I listened to two podcast series. Both worth a listen. In the Marc Fennell one free on audible, Unreal, a women ended up meeting a human man that looked like the chatbot of her dreams. He said that the chatbot helped her understand her better - so it's not all bad. 

However all the stories in the Black Box series on chatbots on Spotify were terrifyingly bad. The good news is that a couple for victims found each other and began a friendship, so I feel the human aspect won in the end for those two.

So what do we do when AI is making it increasingly difficult for people to maintain real life relationships, or even want a relationship with a human? What do we do when AI seems like the panacea for loneliness when it actually isolated us more? And what do we do to stop people thinking this is normal?

As I say to my sister, who is a big fan of AI 'Stop talking to the Robots!'.

But I know it's much, much more complicated than that.

Linking with #TalkaboutitTuesday #TrafficJamReboot

Please note, there's more to this but as this is already a long post, I'll link it here. (Once I write it0.

The title quote is unattributed but I found it here.

Back in 2018, FODI also had a talk on Sex Robots Have No Taboos (you can listen for free on Spotify or Apple) which touches on how it impacts human relationships. This talk raised the issue of if it allowed for a safe access to damaging behaviour but the Porn without People also covered this and there is now data that it escalates the behaviour and does spill into the real world.

Sydney Fringe Festival

 Last night we headed out to catch some global comedy as part of Sydney Fringe Festival. It's a low cost investment for an hour of laughs at the Newtown Hotel.  We were offered discounted tix to a later show (if you wanted to make a night of it) but we left it and were home by 8pm. Fringe is a great way to get out and about on a weeknight without being exhausted the next day or spend too much money.

So take a punt - there's over 300 shows in the month long programme, all different kinds of performance. Tickets are here. 

Last night I saw My Grandpa doesn't follow me on Instagram. This show is funny, heartwarming and very joyful. On until the 26th Sept. Tix are here. It's the winner of this year's Fringe for me.

Linking with #WordlessWednesday