Monday, 9 February 2015
The grass is always greener....
We went to the Pop Art exhibition on the weekend, and while I love Warhol and Lichtenstein, when I saw their works on display, I felt a little 'meh' and moved on quickly. I was more taken with the works unknown to me in the European room and the Australian room. I said to my partner later, I thought it was because I'd seen the famous pieces so much previously, they'd lost their impact. They no longer caused a reaction or even engagement. The less famous works made me look and think, and caused immediate reactions.
This is a little like marriage and relationships. After years, there is a danger of neglecting our partner. We see them day in and day out. We put all our energy into the work day when they aren't around, come home to collapse on the couch, and cease to really talk. We want to write or read or watch tv, to unwind. This, however, is not good long term, as we risk becoming invisible to each other and that can lead to dangerous territory. For some reason, over time, we become very careless with those we love.
A friend complained that they were driving to a party and her husband was grumpy and didn't want to talk. He then spent all night chatting animatedly to strangers he would never see again, jovial and aiming to please. In the car on the way home he announced he was too tired to talk. She was angry that he seemed to be interested in everyone on the planet except her. "What does that leave me with?"
Like the art, the constant company doesn't make the person less interesting or less valuable, but we need to be aware of our treatment and reaction to it. Make time to ask about their day, take interest in the projects and activities that are coming up. Part of sharing a life together is not necessarily doing everything together, but sharing the experiences none the less. Celebrate the wins, lament the losses, no matter how small and mundane. No one likes to feel invisible. If you know more about what your colleagues are doing, or the events in the lives of your facebook friends than what your partner has on this week, then you are skirting dangerous territory*.
The grass is always greener where you water it.
Linking up with #IMUSTCONFESS with my favourite post for 2015 - I like this one because I like how it evolved from the moment in the art gallery to word. I tossed up between Conversations with Teenagers (which is heartfelt) and Sway (which made me feel so good after writing it)
*I think this also applies to children, especially teenagers. Make time to really connect with their lives. It's tough work, and they aren't always keen to share but the same rules apply.
This post was inspired in part by a story Tegan wrote here for #SunshineSundays