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Monday, 7 August 2017

Silence and Distance

My husband and eldest child went cage diving off Port Lincoln on a sleep aboard (live aboard?) which meant for 4 days, there was no contact between us. This is the longest time in our marriage that we haven't communicated. We do spend plenty of time apart but there's phone calls or text messages, and the longest flight is really only 24 hours, so prior to this, that's been the max.

What I noticed was at home, nothing really changed though I had less work to do - less washing, less meals (nobody eats the same thing in this house!) and less tidying. The strange thing was how many times I picked up the phone to message one of them and then realise I probably didn't need to (send a book parade photo, ask if they wanted Muse tickets, let them know what we were doing, tell them I hoped they were having fun and so on.)

These phones, which are a real problem for me, are such a huge part of our communication now that we don't even realise it. Or I didn't, until now. We share out days apart in messages and photos. A little wave through space.

A friend had asked if I was missing them, and I wasn't, not in that pining way. The best description was that it was weird. It felt like something was amiss, an intangible constant vibe that didn't ruin the fun, but was just present in everything we did. They were present in their absence. An empty space around me.

Unfortunately for them, the weather was bad and they had to return a day early - big shout out to the Port Lincoln Hotel for being so helpful (book directly with them people!) and I'm thankful for once I booked a full fare airfare with Qantas and we were able to move the flight (and I used a travel agent so she did all the work!).

It was an interesting exercise that highlighted a dynamic in our relationship I wasn't even aware of. 

Have you ever discovered you have a habit you weren't aware of?

Would you love to go cage diving to see the Great White Sharks? Would you let your child get certified and go cage diving?

12 comments:

  1. Hubby and I have been apart for up to a month at a time but we've always been at the other end of the phone. I am such a worrier, I always think the worst and my imagination goes into overdrive (but not in a good way) when I can't get hold of someone. I would have to pass on the cage diving thanks, but clearly it pays to pay full price!

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  2. I think I would be a mess worrying about them going cage diving and not having any contact. Eeek. We've been apart for a few days, but have always had phone contact. I think I would find it very hard otherwise.

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  3. Cage diving - eeek! Not sure if I could do it? I probably would have felt the absence like you when my kids were younger. I'm used to longer periods without them nowadays though. My daughter lives out of home and I only see her once a week. It's been a hard adjustment. However, we do FB message each other quite a bit. If you removed that, I think I'd feel it even more. Hope your hubby and child had an awesome time! :-)

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  4. My husband and I rarely spend any time apart, even when he is working away from the office we are in constant contact. He travels a little now for work, but we talk, snap chat, instagram or facebook many times a day. It works for us. Cage diving, sure, why not! My eldest has been skydiving a few times, cage diving would be of similar risks I'm sure.

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  5. Cage diving - I'd give it a try! Whenever hubster goes away I usually enjoy a bit of "me" time for the first day or two. Then I go stir crazy and miss cuddles!!!

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  6. Cage diving is when you go into the sea looking for sharks? OMG! That sounds pretty scary. I think if my family were off cage diving I would probably be sending messages left, right and centre. I know what you mean about feeling funny when anyone is away. #TwinklyTuesday

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  7. I went cage diving in South Africa. Well I got on the boat but was so seasick I didn't get anywhere near the cage lol. I like a bit of me time, but it's always nice when they come home again. #fortheloveofblog

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  8. Eek the whole cage diving sounds scary. I would notice due to the noise and less mess to clear up, haha X #fortheloveofblog

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  9. I think I would feel the same way as you, I would worry a little, but know that they were ok. I would really enjoy the peace and quiet, and being able to have a little time for myself. Thanks for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

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  10. Cage diving sounds amazing. I have more fear of the oxygen gear than the sharks though! Glad it all worked out at that you discovered a thing or two about yourself.

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  11. Cage diving is not for me, but to each their own. That many days with no contact would have been really hard for me!

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  12. We're rarely apart and sometimes I wish we had more time - I feel like t would bring us closer in a way. We both worknfrom home, and the kids are both home too at the moment until we get the eldest back into nursery... absence and fondness and all that! #dreamteam

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