I was at a party the other week, talking to a very lovely and friendly stranger. Twice during the course of the night - I spoke to her at the start and again at the end of the night, she asked her husband to get her drink. There wasn't a bar where you queued and paid, it was backyard BYO, and she was drinking wine so there was no beer bottle in need of an opener. The first time she was even standing right next to the table where the wine was?! Is this a thing? I found it really odd, that she didn't just get it herself.
Do you do this? I totally understand that it could be my behaviour that is odd, and the whole world of women might do this, except me, so feel free to explain why you do this, if you do.
Joining up with Essentially Jess for IBOT, read more here.
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Yeah, I do that. Sometimes. I make my husband his lunch every day (even though he can do it himself) and he pours me my champagne. Not always, but often. Even though I am perfectly capable ... it's somewhat chivalrous I guess ... (or I am just a princess)
ReplyDeleteLeanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
I guess that's the thought process behind it. For me, if you have to ask him to do it then you may as well do it yourself (but guess that could be me being the oddball on that one)....That's nice if you make your husbands lunch, especially if you work too. It's the asking part I find weird, not that the husband pours the drink...
ReplyDeleteOoo now thats a debatable question! I would ask my husband to get me a drink, if I was empty, he was empty and I had to walk somewhere away from the convo I was having. But then if I was to get it myself, I would refill everyone elses at the same time. I think it really is dependant on the situation you are in. If you are standing right there, then no my husband will tell me to get it myself! :) I would find this weird... yes.
ReplyDelete#teamIBOT was here!
You've made me feel better...was thinking I had yet another weird behaviour I was unaware of...
DeleteI understand this. My husband and I often have strange jobs we do for each other that just seem natural to us. For example I will never refill the wine glasses at the dinner table and always wait for him to do it. So strange but it is just part of the male/females roles we have taken in our relationship. But I would jump up and serve seconds of dinner or get something that had run out.
ReplyDeleteYou wait or you ask him to? That's the question....(I get the chivalry/gender roles part, it's the asking him to do it I query...
ReplyDeleteMy husband makes my coffee every morning, I don't even ask - its a given
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to wine, I can't fluff around waiting for someone to get me one - I usually get on with it and get one myself!
xx
Mine used to make my coffee too but now I'm up too early with the writing so I have to make my own or a headache sets in...
DeleteI wouldn't ask my husband to refill my drink if it was right next to me (that's not us) but if he was going to refill his own and it wasn't going to be a big hassle, I'd ask him to. But as some of the other commenters above have pointed out, there are often different little quirks in every relationship...it is food for thought though!
ReplyDeleteI have actually noticed 2 other friends do it since that party, so it's definitely a thing. The husband is not always even in the conversation, he has to come from the other side of the room to get the wine and pour (both times he was not drinking said wine)
DeleteI love my hubby getting me a drink. But usually it's mixed and he pours it just right. but I do like it. backyard do, right there, i wouldn't be put off getting it myself.
ReplyDeleteCocktails are different as there is a skill involved, so that's a totally different scenario...
DeleteHmm... If I was sitting and i noticed my drink, or my friends was empty, and Boatman was standing, I would ask him to refill it. But, if he was in conversation, I would do it myself.
ReplyDeleteI can understand it though. Leanne makes a valid point
If you were also standing?
ReplyDeleteI think it was because the first incidence, she asked him to get her a drink and he had to walk over and get the wine from the esky right next to her. Seemed weird but I guess it happens a lot and I don't register.
If I was already sitting next to the drink, I would get it myself. When DP and I are doing yard work we usually have a few coldies while we are doing it. If he goes inside he gets me a drink and vice versa.
ReplyDeleteNo, this is totally different to him offering to get you a drink as he goes to get one (that's what we were doing at the party - walking past, checking if the other needed a drink). That's normal to me (but warning, I'm discovering I may be swimming against the tide). This is asking him to get it when you've finished, he hasn't and he has to walk further than you to get it...
DeleteI generally don't 'do' drinks - the only reason for this is that I don't normally think of it. I don't drink often and when I do, generally A keeps an eye on it and will fill it up before I can do it myself. But, if, by chance, he doesn't and I needed a refill, I would just do it myself and probably offer him as well.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely don't think you are strange !!
Have a great week !
Me
My husband often gets the drinks, but definitely not if I am standing next to it or he is in conversation. That's taking it to the extreme :)
ReplyDeleteBecc @ Take Charge Now
A bit of both. My husband doesn't drink so he's not prone to heading to the drinks table. Me on the other hand, love my wine. If he doesn't offer to get me one, I just run off and grab it myself. No biggie. But you're definitely not strange to think that she could go and grab her own.
ReplyDelete