Thursday 13 June 2013

Heartache spoken here

My eldest announced that one of his friends asked a girl out, and she said yes. It was the big news of the day. I asked if there was someone he wanted to ask out, and was given the 'are you fucking insane? As if I'd tell you' look, with a NO and accompanying shrug.

But it got me thinking, we are heading into the territory of heartache and rejection. It breaks my heart just thinking about it, and I know it's a journey he'll need to go alone. Why are humans so cruel and why can't you make things 'right' for your kids? Why will they take the opinion of some stupid kid as the true reflection of themselves and not see how wonderful they are? Why do we have to get well into adulthood before we realise we don't need to value or trust the opinion of others quite as much as did?

Of course, it could be all flowers and roses and work spectacularly well for him, but only time will tell. I think fondly of the Warren Zevon song - Heartache Spoken Here:

 I've had my share
Of disappointing love affairs
And I'm no stranger to disillusionment
Little darlin'
If you need a helping hand
If you need someone
You can count on me
And I will understand

 And then of course, he went on to sing "Looking for the Next Best Thing". If nothing else, he was the king of picking himself up and starting all over again. We can all learn something from that, in fact, probably the most important lesson of all.

Linking up With Some Grace for FYBF


  1. Hi Lydia, What was that quote? Something like "to have a child is to spend the rest of your life walking around with your heart on the outside of your body". I also battle with wanting to keep my boys from all of life's pain. But we can't. In fact, it's necessary to go through it for healthy development. The best thing, I think, is to show them how we, ourselves deal with pain, hurt, failure and frustration, let them know it's normal for everyone and what matters is how you react to it. Great post, Cheers Leanne

  2. Ohhh. I am really not looking forward to that stage with my two girls!
    Sounds like he has a pretty positive attitude though and I guess these life experiences help us become the people we are today.

  3. Hmm. My daughter is only 13 but was already asked out by a boy this year/last year (can't remember when exactly). We said no. Too young. So she continued to "go out with him" by being Facebook friends. But then he broke up with her because he couldn't get to see her. Understandable. Of course she still had those feelings of rejection which we talked her through. It's a tough one ...

    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

  4. Great post. Those days are well ahead of us but my sensitive three-year old is sure to have her heart broken well before puberty.

    I wish you well with your son, that he told you about his friend asking that girl out shows that he knows he can tell you some stuff at least. Maybe there's a few pow wows down the track...

  5. My little girl is only two and I already want to shield her from every bruise and bump, so I can only imagine it will get harder once she enters a world where bullying and rejection unfortunately exist.

    I pray that I can teach her that she is valuable and worthy just because she is, and she will be able to hold onto that truth throughout life

  6. If only we could make them understand that their own self-worth is the important thing. I'm dreading those teen years for this reason.

  7. Ah, young unrequited love. How many times was my heart battered and bruised? Too many to mention. But it's all a part of life. Easy for me to say now, but I know my darling boys will have to go through it all. Ugh. Fun times ahead!

  8. I feel like skipping over this post and pretending that I never read it! I can't bear the thought of my kids having their hearts broken by bitches and dickheads.
    I hope I raise them to be resilient and clever. It's all we can do to arm them for life's crap.
    Argh I don't want to think about it! X

  9. I shudder to think of my high school days - good luck for the years ahead Lydia!

  10. It's taken me until my 30s to realise that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - MAN I wish I had known this in high school and 20s - I would have had less heartaches for sure - Em x

  11. I watched my nieces go through this and my heart died with every break up. God knows what I will be like when Mr 4 grows up. It hurts just thinking about it!

    1. How on earth did you find this? But yes, you can't even think about it, can you!!??!!