What I learnt from The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

No spoilers, just using some lines from the film to explore an idea. I am now of an age where I am watching marriages of 20 years come to a surprising end. I don't see it coming, they're people I would consider a rock solid couple. Sometimes it's an affair, a lot of times it's because they 'don't talk'.

As the film points out, you can be very lonely in a couple, and no one wants to be that lonely when they're supposed to be sharing a life together.


In the film, there are a couple of lines that give examples of different couples:

A:"You don't care at all, do you?" (said laughingly)
B:"Only in so much that it matters to you."

and

C:"Just because I'm looking at you when you talk, doesn't mean I'm listening or care"

A lot of long term marriages turn into C. Just because you are living together, juggle kids together, fronting up to the same meals together and so on, doesn't mean you are sharing a life. If everyone else is filling your world and your partner is no longer getting your attention, then you need to take action before it's too late. Everyone in group C needs to move to B.

You need to actively make it happen "Water doesn't flow until you turn the tap on". You may think you're chugging along happily but you're partner may not be. Paying a little bit more attention may make all the difference. Let them know that they matter to you. Never assume they know it. As discussed before, nothing goes without saying.

Don't wait for a birthday or anniversary to make them feel special. Do it today. It doesn't have to cost the earth. Ask them what they are working on, take an interest in their day, comment on their appearance. Best of all, sit with them and talk.

As the film says "There's no present like the time".

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