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Friday, 14 June 2019

Party ettiquette - the need to RSVP

Why don't people RSVP?

We are having a party -it's just for fun so I don't care if people come or not, but I do need to know.
I had to chase 88 people for their RSVPs. A number of them can't come becasue they have other things on, or it's their child's birthday, and yet they didn't bother to RSVP when they realised they had a clash? Why would you not RSVP if you know you can't come?

I understand some people need to sort out sitters or other people's logistics, and some people might be waiting for a better offer (which is also fine, but don't make me chase you for your decision). If you know you're a NO, just send that text.

With the 30 outstanding I've just emailed and said I'm presuming they aren't coming, which is rude but I'm not catering for 30 people that may or may not turn up (and I figure they were rude first by not bothering to RSVP).

I get people can get caught up, but surely once you get the reminder you reply? And it's almost always the same people that can't be bothered replying.

My husband said for the next one, I needed to write on the invite "If you don't RSVP, you're never being invited again". Nothing makes people feel more welcome than a passive agressive invite, n'est-ce pas? Ha!

Do these people never have parties? These things cost money, no matter how 'budget' you do it, and I'm loathe to waste food for the ecological reasons as much as the cost.

I  don't even mind a few 'can I let you know on the day' due to difficult arrangements (I currently have 6 people in that boat, but I figure with the no shows and last minute cancels there'll be enough food to cover them).

If you are invited to something, please RSVP so your host knows if you are coming. They really don't care if you come or not, but they really hate having to waste their time chasing your decision.

Linking a ranty, cranky post with #LifeThisWeek and #KCACOLS.

Can anyone explain why people do this?

As an aside, of that last 30, some are now coming...so I'm just meant to guess how many people will turn up.


20 comments:

  1. I feel ranty on your behalf, it's just bad form. If someone has been kind enough to invite you to something, the least you can do is RSVP. It's not that hard!

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  2. Oh my god yes! That's just the absolute height of rudeness. How hard is it to RSVP? Not very. I'm appalled at the poor behaviour of some people.

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  3. If a party or event is pretty casual and I'm not sure if I can go I would at least give the host a deadline of when I'll know. If it's something formal I'll let the host know by the RSVP date or earlier.

    With such huge numbers that would be so hard for you!

    What I hate as much though is all of those people who cancel in the day or two beforehand. I feel bad if it's a big Facebook group invite or something and suddenly all of these people 'can't' go on the day or at the last minute!

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    1. We had an event organised by one of the mum's at school and everyone had to send fifty million reply to all emails (my personal hate) about going and then on the day all but 4 or us cancelled (the organiser being one of the 4). She decided to transfer her deposit and we just went for drinks instead but such bad form, esp as she was out of pocket on it.

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  4. I feel for you Lydia! It's just plain old rude on their behalf, good luck with your catering for the event. #lifethisweek

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  5. That is so rude to not RSVP, Lydia! Hope you have a blast at the party nonetheless.

    SSG xxx

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  6. WoW that is so many not to RSVP!! I am usually really good at replying straight away as I know what a nightmare it is when people don't respond. Having said that since having kids I do forget more often! #KCACOLS

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    1. It's about 48 invites but as most are couples, it jumps up quickly.

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  7. I know, I'm horrible about it because I never know if I'll be able to make it and I put it off and then it's too late. I should know better being in charge of guest lists in the past. I'll try to be better I promise I will.

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    1. hehehe! On behalf of your future inviters, I say thank you! ;)

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  8. I cannot explain why people don't RSVP. Not something I would ever dream of doing. Just bad manners #KCACOLS

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  9. It is so frustrating when people don't RSVP! It is the same for birthday parties too for kids when parents say they are coming and don't show up. The extra waste and expense could be saved with a text! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time

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  10. I hate that people are so rude and the excuses that are made for it do not wash. Even way back in 1994 when we sent proper invites, with proper rsvps included, we STILL had to get back to some people. it's a wedding. You pay a fortune per head. Sigh. Can't even blame the internet for that time. And as for kids' birthdays...don't start me.

    Thank you for linking up for #lifethisweek. Next week we are HALF-way in our #ltw prompts for 2019 and this one is Share Your Snaps. Hope to see you there! Denyse.

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  11. Etiquette in all forms is a lost art. Sad.

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  12. This winds me up too! It's so rude, and it takes no time at all to let someone know whether or not you'll be attending their party! #kcacols

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  13. I have to say I think it often comes down to laziness, plain and simple.
    Because like you said it is very easy to reply to an email. It only takes a minute or less. I am very absent-minded at times but I always remember to RSVP! #KCACOLS

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  14. That is a lot of people not to reply. I feel for you but don't know the answer. We are trying to organise a BBQ for Scouts, we nearly cancelled as we had 8 yeses, chased up and now it's 60!! #KCACOLS

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    1. I don't get what goes thru their heads! You're going to cater for 60 people that may or may not turn up!??!

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  15. Really agree, it is the height of rudeness not to respond, even to acknowledge receiving the invitation! And the dilemma of how to chase up as a host so you can know your numbers! Plain not fair. #KCACOLS

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  16. UPDATE: Over 30 people cancelled on the day - unfortunately after I'd ordered and paid for the food. I usually allow for 10 cancels/no shows. This was way beyond that. However, it just meant with the food I needed to cook I did a fraction of it (we will be eating finger food for the next week's lunches) and the delivered food was maybe only $30 more than I needed. It did however mean, instead of spending the first 2 hours in the kitchen, before the delivered food arrives, I actually got to mingle from about 40 mins in...and clean up was easy as smaller. And we could all fit inside as it was cold out, and I had been a bit worried how that was going to work. So while annoying, I will still say it was a success!

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