Microdosing

I have a group of friends I see fairly regularly, mainly because they are the 'yes' crew. Whenever I organise something, they say yes.

There is one in particular who is very easy going but very enthusiastic. We have a trip booked together for a very crazy 5 days in Europe, travelling about for festivals and a stint in Ibiza. We have gone to Ultra in Melborne a few times, each trip being slight longer than the last but not being more than 30 hours...so I am a little nervous about the extended time and pressure of travel on the friendship. I can be a LOT. 

This week, quite by accident, we discovered we were seeing each other 5 nights out of the 7! It was our second evening together and I asked her what else whe had on, as we made our way home from the Opera House. She rattled off some Writer's Festival events and I realised I had bought the tickets for those - but so long ago I'd forgotten who I was going with (that's today's job to get the tickets to the right people!).

I laughed and then said 'OMG. And then we have Hot dub together! You'll be sick of me by the weekend!'

She laughed and then I added "It's microdosing on me so you're prepared for our trip".

At the same time, while I was in the Fran Liebovitz event at the Opera House, my husband had sent me an article about friends who you stop seeing once you get sick of doing 100% of the effort. It talks of how without the structure of school or work to keep the friendship moving forward, you drifted apart when the person making all of the effort decided to leave it up to the other person to provide some balance, and that person never bothered to reach out. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it has to be tit for tat, but if you organised the last 5 or decade worth of get togethers and they don't organise anything when you finally wait for them to do so, you weren't really friends at all. That's been a tough lesson for me to learn. That said, a school friend who moved interstate & I fell out of touch with literally ran after me in the street last night and we've exchanged numbers. We used to visit them when the kids were little when we went up to Coolum but life just got in the way and we stopped holidaying in their town. I know that happens, and it's nice to get back in touch again. I guess the bottom line is to understand that's part of life and not take it personally, like the article sort of implies.

So while I'm seeing a lot of this friend this week, it wasn't organised that way. Just a string of events that were organised months ago all happened to fall in the same week. The structure to grow together was accidental but enjoyable all the same.

I guess this is the thing about friendships, they ebb and flow, but also circumstance can alter the dynamic. If there is no incident or bitterness, then the door is always open.

Some people notice the shift and reach out, and others don't even notice the change or maybe they're glad for it? Or maybe just life did it's thing and circumstances changed for awhile....but like my long lost freind, there's always the opportunity for freindships to grow again.

Have you had a big shift in friendships since you stopped work or the kids left school? (Or divorced?)

Linking with #TalkaboutitTuesday

The pics are a sneak peek of VIVID - lights on officiall this Friday!