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Tuesday, 30 July 2013

What I learnt from the Bloggers Brunch


The other day I attended my first Bloggers Brunch - hosted by Kids Business. It was a mix of socializing (not my strong point - even looking at the photo below, I'm filled with irrational anxiety), talking with brands and some inspirational speakers.




One of the speakers was Jane Copeland, from Coping with Jane, and in her talk, about changing your life (or making changes in your life), she mentioned an article she'd read that said the older you got, the less likely you were to follow your dream. I thought that was an odd statistic, because, as someone driven by FOMO and Torshlusspanik, I would say out of that fear alone you might be driven to make a change.

I spent 12 years in a job in which I was well paid but not necessarily enjoying very much, growing more miserable by the day - I finally rang my husband in a panic about missing out on time with my son, who would not get that year of maternity leave that I shared with my eldest (when #2 was born). In great generosity, he simply said "Quit. Quit now". I didn't, I waited a little, to coincide with the xmas school holidays, long service & other financial safety nets, and began a new phase.

As I'm now looking to return to work, I'm trying to work out new career paths to fit in with the lifestyle that the other 4 family members have come to enjoy - my partner can go cycling in the mornings, and go to the gym at night, the kids have activities after school and friends over in the holidays, and the evening are for my partner and I, not the housework and other things that get done at 10pm if you've long days in the office. No one needs to miss out on anything.

Of course, I'm aware this all comes at a price, and is a luxury for most. I am still working it out, but I know the outline of what I think will work. My husband is also looking for work at the moment, and I keep trying to steer him away from the lure of money and into what will work for his interest or his lifestyle (and preferably both).

I think the older you get, the more you fear 'this is it, this is all I get' and the more you start to worry that you aren't going to fit it all in, whatever it is.

Of course, maybe that's me. And people like me. I did do a mini poll at the Brunch on this, and she (the one person I asked) also thought it was a strange statistic.

Don't get me wrong - Jane Copeland's speech was very inspirational, as she set out to design a new business and successfully changed her career, wrote a book and basically boarded her ship before it sailed (her reference in her speech, of a recurring dream she had).  It also made me think, that if you put your mind to it, and work out a solid plan, it will come together (or lead you somewhere else).

So each morning, as I swipe my lips with my new Brauer Lip Shimmer, which I covetously nabbed as a freebie at the Brunch, I remind myself that I can make that change happen, if I set to work to make it happen, because who would have thought a week ago, I'd be in love with pink shimmer?*

Martin Luther King, Jr said "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." And with that, I will direct my feet.



As a postscript, I want to say I took a lot from Jane's speech - tidbits of note:

She talked about the loss of identity in motherhood being unexpected.
She said when she started out (her new venture), she didn't have it all figured out, but she felt she should have.
And her best bit of advice? Just start something, and keep going.

I know I may fail and end up back in my old job - but no harm in giving it a shot, right? If I fail, I make a new plan.

*French Rose is the colour - while I asked for Ruby, and love it - the French Rose has taken me quite by surprise. Another example that sometimes stepping out of your comfort zone can have surprising results.

Linking up With Some Grace for FYBF

17 comments:

  1. I think it's great to be able to do what you love and fit it in with everything else that needs to be done. That was one of the reasons that I started The Body and Feet Retreat - so that I could come home and do what I really love. I know that I could never do it as a full time job because it is just too draining but doing it on the odd evenings is enough to energise and re-charge myself.
    Follow your dream - you owe it to yourself and your family !
    Love, hugs and positive energy !
    Me

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    1. I think of your pending sea change as an example of this too - you are a queen of designing your life!

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  2. I'm glad following your heart worked for you. In terms of leaving your job. I'm up to year two and life seems crazy. Great to hear there is life and potential new opportunity at the end of the long nappy filled tunnel.
    Was great to meet you the other day.
    Also, that paw paw is the best.

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    1. Was nice to meet u - glad your daughter got the doll!!

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  3. I think the older I get the more I am feeling like I seriously need to take that leap. I need to quit the job I don't love and follow my passion. Once I work out how to pay my bills, I may just do that. I like that advice, just start something and keep going. Good luck on finding the new career path that fits your lifestyle :)Yay for following your dreams!

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    1. Yes, it's the paying the bills that makes it tricky....

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  4. I'm kinda where you are at with work and life. We should compare notes at a local cafe one day :)

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    1. My 'notes' won't be much good but there's a new local I'm keen to try...

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  5. Interesting stuff. Sounds like a lovely brunch and one to make you ponder.
    I agree though ... just start something and keep going. Works for me!
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

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  6. I left my high paying job last year to do what I am so passionate about - work in the fitness industry. I haven't looked back. Sure I miss the money but I think that if you find what you truly love, go for it and the rest will fall into place. xox

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  7. Good on you Lydia - sounds like you are really getting the balance right. As Jane (and you) say - it is about just doing something, doesn't matter if you don't have all the answers - trusting that your experience will get you through. I look at my eclectic career and think that at different points in time I've done this, but I guess that sense of 'running out of time' makes the right move feel some much more imperative.

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  8. Sounds like it was a really though-provoking brunch (with freebies!). I do think it gets harder to live-the-dream as you get older because you simply have so many more responsibilities. Life is no longer about 'you' when you have a family and bills to pay. But having said that, I think it is always possible to create some version of 'the dream'. I love the idea of taking that first step and seeing where it leads. Go girl!

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  9. It's in the getting up that matters, not the failing I believe Lydia. Best to try and fail than just stay unhappy. I'm rooting for you. It's hard trying to find that work/life/money balance. I also think timing has lots to do with how things pan out! Em x

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  10. Great post. I have a passion for career development and the life stories people tell. I don't agree the chances are slim as you get older. Many friends I know have started to reinvent themselves now they're at a cross road. Thanks for sharing and all the best with your cross road :)

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  11. Its good to have dreams to follow and to stay true to oneself. My boys can see my dreams, and see that I never give up....and now I get to watch two of them follow their goals, and chase their dream.
    The bloggers brunch sure sounds like a lot of fun :)

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  12. It's a tricky balance Lydia. I'm lucky enough to stay at home, and it does make timing a lot easier, but you also need to follow your dreams, and have challenges for yourself as well.
    I hope the change goes the way that suits both you and your family. I always believe that we're lead by some force that takes us where we need to be, it's just a matter of going with it or holding back. xx

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  13. I'm still trying to figure out what my next turn in my career will be. Just don't think I'll be going back to selling IT to big corporate giants. Just ain't my thang, no more.
    But, as they say, the world is your oyster. You'll find your pearl. Have faith in that. x

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