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Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Don't leave it blank (or What I learnt from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty)

We watched The Secret Life of Walter Mitty again last night (the Ben Stiller remake), and in the opening scene, there is a line where we discover Walter had failed to fill in his 'Been there, Done that' section of his dating profile.

No spoilers but Walter has been a 'responsible' working adult from a very young age.

Do we need to put our lives on hold in order to 'do the right thing'?

Last year, when my daughter started a new school, we decided to invite some of the new school parents to a party we were having. The party was for no reason, and a fancy dress spy party (ok, the reason was I'd been watching OSS:117 and got the idea into my head...reason enough for me to run with it). We didn't know them very well, but I figured you had to start somewhere. The party was large, and they were just a few extras added to our invited friends.

We're having another party, and at the new class dinner, I invited one of the women who hadn't already been invited. She responded with "Oh, you're the people who had the party last year. I heard about that. They didn't know what it meant, a party for the adults (like it was some porno key party??)". Taken aback I said "Is it that weird to have a party?" (Having not realised until now my invitation had marked me as a pervert). With no sadness she replied "Oh you know, you kind of put your life on hold and do things around the kids".

I agree, you do to an extent. But a party? Do you never go out without the kids, as a couple? Or even as a single, an individual person? Is it strange to do things as an adult? I understand cost of babysitting, or even finding a babysitter makes life difficult but that a party invitation would be met with trepidation and confusion? Ironic given we seem to throw quite lavish parties for small children (compared to what I grew up with).

I think Walter is not alone, in putting aside his dreams. We let life slip by as we busy ourselves with everyday demands.

We need to fill it up, so our been there, done that criteria is full and makes us happy. It doesn't mean we have to ignore our responsibilities, just not lose ourselves in them.

That is the quintessence of life.

Linking up with #OpenSlather

16 comments:

  1. I have a group of friends that I go out with every 6 weeks. And we love throwing parties. Life is too short to not have the simple pleasure of a great night with friends!

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  2. We hold one "all in" party a year. Our catch up with EVERYONE Christmas party. We do it because we miss out on it during the year ...
    So you're right. We press PLAY at Christmas,but we're on PAUSE the rest of the year.

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  3. Your party sounds wonderful! Why don't you live near me?

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  4. My post today is about putting life on hold. Not because of kids but other stuff and I'm of the opinion it's a big mistake!!! (Probably one of the reasons I don't have kids is because I put stuff on hold and then left it too long!) #alas

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  5. Next time I want an invite! Sounds fab x

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  6. That's weird! I'm not a huge party person (not because of the kids, just because of me) but I'd actually be really chuffed to get a grown-up party invitation from a kinder or school friend! Or acquaintance. Or anyone!
    I do love my catch-ups with friends though. Won't be swapping them out just because we have little people in the house. And now that they're starting to have little people of their own, they can all play together! Hip hip hooray.

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  7. We are having a murder mystery party at the end of the month just because we can. I also think that you don't need a reason to catch up with your friends. Where is the fun in that?

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  8. I love what Amy does... More of that I say. There is nothing wrong with spending time in the adult world ( and I don't mean porn) to keep your sanity... We were women and men first ..

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  9. What a strange response to your party invitation!

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  10. "not to ignore our responsibilities, just not lose ourselves in them" YES!
    As much as I love my children, I love my time away from them. Husband and I are having a very special kid free night away at a hotel then to watch Les Mis next month. Can't wait!!!

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  11. Lol. We don't get out nearly enough. But that's what happens when you need to pay for a babysitter as well as dinner!

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  12. A grown up party with no kids sounds fabulous. It must be fun for you to host such a fun night for parents/adults. I love doing dinner parties, usually with kids.
    Haven't done that for ages. Have to organise something.

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  13. I haven't had a huge social life since having kids, but I think everyone has their own set of circumstances.
    I really don't understand that woman's comments about your party. In fact I'm sitting here with a weird look on my face wondering why anyone would say something so catty about a freakin party. Cow.

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  14. We need to balance it really but remember to still have fun in life, not just work it away until retirement when you think you will have the freedom.

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  15. Absolutely agree! I think many people would be better parents if they put themselves first every now and then rather than having everything revolve around the kids. I try to make an effort to do something just for myself or with my girlfriends once a month or so, gives me something to think and talk about that isn't child-related. Dave and I have also been making an effort to get out just the two of us a bit more often for the same reason. We are definitely better parents for it and our lives are most definitely richer.

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