Sunday 10 May 2015

A little bit of history and a lot of compassion

I read a very horrible post last night, by a woman who didn't want to share Mother's Day with her Mother-in-law and that Mother's Day should be about her. I have no idea where this idea of Mother's Day has come from, though she assured me it was common. Interestingly, she was so strong in her beliefs, she wanted to remain anonymous. (So maybe the post was written purely to get a reaction, and in that case, congratulations, it did).

The UK Mothering Sunday was the fourth Sunday in lent, and workers away from home were encouraged to return to visit their mother (remember no one got weekends off back in the 1600's!). So it was a one day of the year kind of visit. A big deal for the Mother.

In the US, Anna Jarvis, who never had kids (but obviously had a Mother), was an activist and social worker. She believed that a day should be set aside to honour all mothers, living and dead, and 'pay tribute to the contributions made by them', to combat the 'growing negligent attitude of adult Americans towards their mothers'.

She actually went on to petition to have it cancelled once the commercialisation took over - she was very against the cards and chocolates. The point was to visit or write a letter. To put in effort to share time with your mother, the woman who had done so much for you.

So anonymous post writer, Mother's Day is about your Mother-in-law. It's about the adult child who no longer lives with his mother. Your husband should visit his mother. You should visit yours. Your husband doesn't need to celebrate you as a mother, your children do. They are living at home and probably still too young to really celebrate it in any way expressing genuine gratitude, and gifts don't really do that anyway.

Now is the time for your Mother-in-law's mother's day celebrations. Your time will come when your children are adults and have left home. Let's hope they don't marry someone as selfish as you.

Linking up for #FYBF and #WeekendWrapUp


  1. Oh I totally agree! I read a few of those sort of posts this weekend too and was horrified - how will these mothers feel once their kids are grown and have their own families - will they be happy to be passed over on Mother's Day then? I think the day should celebrate all mothers and mother-figures. I celebrated Mother's Day with my kids, my mum, and my two sisters who aren't 'technically ' mothers but who are awesome aunties :)

    I'm helping Eva out on #TeamMM

  2. How odd and selfish. She did raise her life partner after all.

  3. I absolutely adored my mother-in-law. She was like a second mum to me. Sadly she's no longer with us and I wish more than anything I could have spent Mother's Day with her as well as my own mum.

  4. What can I say but wow... some people just never get the idea behind celebrations like mothers day...

  5. I love sharing mothers day with my mum and MIL so I don't get this point of view at all. I also felt a bit uncomfortable with some of the negative mothers day posts I read over the weekend. I think it is all about honouring your family, including your extended family and taking the time to tell those who matter most to you that you love and respect and value them. It's not about one person...

  6. I think I read the same post! My mum has passed but I was lucky enough to get a lovely MIL and had no issue at all spending the day with her!

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    2. I'm not linking it as I don't like things that pit women against each other. We're all branches of the same tree and all that!!