My resilience had eroded completely. I literally had no energy left to deal with anything, especially myself.
Then I saw a meme on Instagram that said 'You can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first' and I instantly recognised the truth in those words. I'd been giving so many pieces of me away in support of others, and what needed to be done, that I'd slowly dissolved my own levels of everything.
So I started running up the firestairs and yesterday while I was doing so, I remembered the fabulous Always Josefa had written an eloquent post called Pushing through Concrete. I couldn't remember what she'd said, but I remember I had given her a pep talk and she'd liked it. I decided I probably needed to hear her advice and my own chastising response.
I sought out the post, read it, read my response. It helped. It worked almost immediately. I had 'reset' again. Just like that. I needed her words, and mine, to reframe all my troubles and my role in them. 'Past me' travelled through time to tell 'current me' to see the situation clearer.
1. Bloggers, when you share those difficult posts, you help people. I know the risks are great for you, but know that if you help just one person, it is most definitely worthwhile.
2. One of the upsides of blogging, and comments, is that you meet people that help you in ways you may not even understand at the time.
3. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others - sometimes you can't even see it until you read words you said to someone else when they were in a position you find yourself in now.
4. If you are pushing through concrete, know that you aren't alone, and it will pass.
I left a comment for AJ to let her know I'd revisited the post and it had helped me, and to my surprise, she then wrote this on her FB page. "This beautiful comment felt like the pop-up cheer squad I didn't even know I needed! Thank you Lydia, one day we will meet and I will tell you how important this post is. For the rest of us, keep your face to the light, fear and doubt will claw at you, but you must keep moving forward - one step at a time, even when and especially when it feels like you are pushing through concrete " Words and support come from unexpected places. (We are now in a thank you loop but that's another story!)
The best bit of all, she has decided to reboot Conversations over Coffee so I am very excited about that. All you need is enough of the happy little pleasures to be able to recharge and take on the bigger things. Especially when it feels like you are pushing through concrete.
Linking with #mg