I hate being the new kid...

My youngest started school this year, at a new school. Knowing already how great it can be to have a support network at the school, I set about making friends. I have to race off at pick up so I can't stay and chat. Sometimes it seems very hard to break into conversations. Often, I just play on my phone because I'm not up for it.

Now the fundraiser approached, and we need a table of 10. I put it out in an email to the class, and gradually spots are filling.

I accept that my attitude is part of the problem - I've got my friends, I'm older than everyone, I've got a high school kid and I might just be a little over this school business (shh!).  I just hate being the new kid. I hate trying to make friends. You can't help taking on a little rejection, that may not even be there. I hate that awkward outsider feeling. For my youngest, however, it is a task I must take on, whether I want to or not.

Every four years, I organise a sweep for the World Cup, and this morning I sent off the email to my usual crowd I harass for my schemes, and was pondering whether to ask the new school parents too, or whether that would just make me look sad and desperate....I figured I'd see how I was going for numbers and then maybe, casually, mention it to one or two...

I returned home after the 2 drop offs to discover - BAM - all 32 spots taken in less than an hour! In fact, it's over subscribed so I'll need to work something out (After I sent out notice the sweep was closed, I got complaints from people who'd missed out! Never fear, the Dakar is only 7 months away! ). That's what happens when you turn off your phone...it's a crazy hive of activity in the interwebs! A lot of these people have never been in a sweep before, and have no interest in soccer, but they like me, and humour my eccentricities.

How are these two stories connected? This enthusiastic response has worked as a wake up call, that in fact I'm not some lonely, weirdo reject (well, maybe a little, but in a good way that I'm totally comfortable with), I'm just new and I don't know anyone. All of it, of course, is probably my perception.

What I need to do, is remind myself that a lot of the other parents are also feeling that. Maybe their aloofness is to do with them and not me.

I read an article by a woman saying the clique-y mothers were making her kid sad, because her child was being left out. While I hear her pain, at no point did she say she was inviting kids over, or organising a get together. Maybe start by taking those difficult steps yourself. Maybe the 'clique-y' mums won't be interested, but there will be some shy wallflowers who will appreciate it. Maybe the clique really isn't in your head, and they don't like you - but does it matter, if you're making other friends along the way?

And for all my money, I'd rather be known as inclusive than exclusive....

Linking up with The Lounge, on school stories - because in a week I'll be a new kid yet again with a whole new class!