Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Vagina cakes and other food we don't need to eat...

So I've been away and know I've no doubt missed a whole lot of blog posts on the recent fad of vagina cookies and cakes, but as they still seem to be cropping up in my Facebook feed, I do need to go there...

Firstly, if you want kids (or the world) to see what a vagina looks like, don't put it on a cake or a cookie. That is just plain nuts. There is nothing more to it than that. You don't make a digestive system out of cake. I do, in fact, make a brain jelly at Halloween, but the purpose of that is to be gross, so there you go, that's what your vagina cakes are. Gross (and insulting). I am also not a fan of penis lollies at hens parties, but that's another post - on food that is somehow meant to be "fun" but isn't. Fun food is crab baked in a bag or something, or a Halloween jelly brain...

Secondly, what's with the rainbow colouring? That's just as bad as the photoshopping. If your point is educational, don't make it rainbow coloured. No one has a rainbow coloured vagina.

Now as I'm 107, the last time I saw a Playboy was pre-photoshopping, so I've not even seen these new vaginas that the skinmags are promoting. I have seen the doco explaining how it all came about (for those that don't know, it was to do with the fold in the page and magazine staple creating visual image issues with the folds in the vagina). How this has resulted in women getting surgery to look like a photoshopped image is an indictment on the human race, and maybe worthy of a cake or cookie demonstration.

By all means teach your kids about the photoshopping and what a vagina looks like. An artist set up an installation where you could get a plastercast made of your vagina and there were 1000 vaginas on show, and no surprise, they all looked different. (Apologies on not remembering the artist's name that did this in England and I'm too scared to google to try and find it). The short version is, normal and stylised are not the same thing. All 1000 were normal. All 1000 looked different.

To anyone who has had to answer vagina questions from young kids while you're all crammed into a shopping centre toilet, you'll know that most kids get what it looks like. Maybe we don't need to teach the 6 and 7 year olds with a cake. We need to sit down with the teen and say "Hey, you know that porn photos are photoshopped - don't expect your girlfriend to look like that". You'll probably scare them off sex after that, as no teen wants to have that conversation with their mum, so it's win-win. Put it on a cake and you'll give them an eating disorder (and their girlfriend will NEVER thank you because they won't go near that either!)

Maybe I should have titled this 'Talk to your teen about porn'...

By the way, I will delete any comments that are offensive, and remember I'm 107 and easily shocked...(I'm guessing a google search may bring me some visitors that are looking for something else).
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  1. I guess seeing as I am 188 and also easily shocked, maybe FB has been censoring those posts from my feed because I haven't seen it - and I hope it stays that way. Clearly some people have too much time on their hands if they can model cakes that look like vaginas - I can't really get my head around why you would want a vagina cake in the first place !
    Have a great day and good luck with the comments that you are sure to receive on this post !!!!
    Me xox

  2. I can't believe you missed this - it pops up every day for me - some woman took them to her kids class (6/7 yr olds) and the teacher sent her away saying it wasn't appropriate (but I'd pay good money to watch her do the same thing with 15 year olds. That would be hilarious!!)

  3. I also saw the cakes with the babies 'coming out' as part of the baby shower celebrations! I'm glad I am passed the baby shower stage!

  4. I still don't know where I sit with this. Maybe not cakes and cupcakes fr educational tools, I agree
    Maybe a book. Or a doll. Or *something* they aren't expected to eat...
    And yes - lets talk to our kids about vaginas.
    My kids talk about vaginas ALL THE TIME - I'm entirely serious. They are obsessed with how babies came out (they know my big girl came out my vagina first, and the twins came out my tummy), they also know girls have vaginas and boys have penises (penii?)
    And I find myself OFTEN having to say: "darling, lets not talk about vaginas at the dinner table/restaurant/cafe/park".
    I wonder if the solution lies in talking to our kids honestly about vaginas BEFORE we feel the need to bake vagina cakes...
    As per your previous comment, I would pay money for the 15 year old vagina cake episode of this tv show!! Ha!

  5. I agree and don't get the phenomonem! Do people eat them once they've viewed them? Give me a vovo any day. Keep the vajajay where it belongs. :)

  6. I've never heard of them or seen them so clearly I must be 207. I was reading Jean Kitson's book on menopause the other day after Linda from My Journey told me about it and Jean reckons women's vaginas are the only part of us we can't see without a magnifying mirror and a diploma in yoga. I must admit I've never seen mine!

  7. PMSL their girlfriend will never thank you because they wont go near that - SO TRUE. Who in their right mind would want to eat a vagina cupcake in the first place. They've been in my newsfeed too unfortunately.

  8. Well as you know, I'm actually older than 107, so it will come as no surprise that when I saw the cupcakes I just thought how messy they were. Horrible rainbow icing all over the place!
    I'm pretty sure you'll get some comments on this that will be worthy of their own blog post, Lydia :)

  9. I only look at photos of my own vagina cakes.