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The outside no longer matches the inside. There's no other way to say it. In my head I still feel young. I think I'm young but then I get reactions that remind me that I'm not. At a festival. people will literally shriek "OMG! You're so old!" (to which the answer can only be "OMG! I know!" shrieked back at them, which they then find hilarious, tell me I'm cool or cute but the damage is already done and we know there's nothing cool about me and it's Betty White 'cute' they mean...).
At Music Bingo we were merrily dancing in our chairs (the new normal) to the songs from 2000's. In my head we were just like everyone else. Until Timmy Trumpet came on (who I absolutely LOVE) and I started energetically dancing. In my peripheral vision I saw people on the tables on either side do double takes and nudge each other (because I was apparently way too old to like such music). I have learnt not to look directly when this happens. If I keep it on the periphery, I can ignore it. But it is a stark reminder that I'm old.
And then there's the mirror. I'm not a big fan of mirrors, but post COVID, my body shape has changed and I've gained weight on what was always a flat stomach. Ageing has changed my metabolism. This makes my clothes look 'wrong'. It's my body taunting me to dress for my age. Which I don't want to. I don't like those clothes!
The face and the hair are marching on in time. The brain is not.
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| My outside... |
I don't think about it until I'm reminded. Often with a jolt. I feel young until I'm reminded that I'm not. And it still gives me a little shock.
It's not all bad however. I have learnt to use my cloak of invisibility to my advantage and enjoy the freedom it brings. It has taught me not to be self conscious and limit myself. "Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” (Samuel Ullman) and fortunately my soul is very dewy in its enthusiasm.
Alle Farben, while I suspect he was aiming it at thirty somethings, basically wrote my theme song. He provides brilliant life advice in this song.
I can so relate to this post! I’m really okay about my age - 56. I never dreaded birthdays, etc. But yeah, there are still those jolts where my brain has to adjust to the fact that my body is no spring chicken.
ReplyDeleteLove your leggings!
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
The Legging are recycled plastic and give money to conservation for the animal on them - in this case elephants. I have tigers too....I loved them and they last for YEARS looking like new! https://www.chooseyouranimal.com/ (no affiliation, just a fan!)
DeleteHello dear Lydia,
ReplyDeleteI don't know how old or young you are, but your legs in the boots look young and cool and happy :-) And I would find it sad if you would just stop to feel young inside because of wrinkles and possible "age ailments"...
For me, Iris Apfel, Sue Kreitzman and other Golden Girls are great role models in connection with courageous and happy aging. See more: https://rostrose.blogspot.com/2019/04/unique-nicht-perfekt-aber-einzigartig.html
https://rostrose.blogspot.com/2015/02/golden-girls.html
The mirror only shows a small part of you - the essential part is invisible!
Hugs from Austria, Traude
https://rostrose.blogspot.com/2020/10/gemutliche-wanderung-zur.html
Iris is VERY cool!!!
DeleteI loved your post. I am 62, and continue to work full time as a garden designer and play in my garden every chance I can get. Yes...I feel the years creeping up on me, but am thankful for every moment! P.S. Age is just a number. It's how you feel!
ReplyDeleteWe've all gained a few pounds during this pandemic. You're not alone.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful shots.
Have a fabulous day and weekend. ♥
Fun, regardless of age, is an art worth cultivating - quote by me!! Great post :) #lifethisweek
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to this post - inside I still feel like a kid - but the outside tells the real story. I really love that Samuel Ullman quote which reminds me of my words to live by "Don't grow up - it's a trap!"
ReplyDeleteI can relate - I feel young inside but the outside doesn't match. I say dance if you want to - there's nothing wrong with self expression. The young ones are probably envious because they're too self conscious to dance themselves
ReplyDeleteIt’s definitely what’s inside that counts....personality wins over looks anytime.
ReplyDeleteRelating hard. Except I'm reminded frequently - every time I stand up it seems to be accompanied with an effortful grunt or groan.
ReplyDeleteHey, you! You are still and always will be much younger on the outside than me!! I love that you are young(er) on the inside. Thanks for linking up for Life This Week. Next week, the optional prompt is 45/51 Share Your Snaps #9 9.11.2020 and I would love to see you there! Denyse.
ReplyDeleteI am with you on being young on the inside too. So far, I'm fortunate in that I don't look my age {thanks for the genes mum} but I know that's slowly changing. Keep dancing! Keep going to festivals! Keep living!
ReplyDeleteI think we all have that 'moment' when we realize that we are still young inside even if the outside has aged! But, that's OK, we are still who we are :)
ReplyDeleteIt's great to see your link at 'My Corner of the World' this week!
We're only as old as we feel and I think the way we dress should be about what makes us feel good. For me it's comfy clothes and shoes, some stylish, some not. Thanks so much for linking up with me at my #UnlimitedMonthlyLinkParty 18, open until November 26. Shared.
ReplyDeleteI just had a birthday and feel every word of this. Half of my co workers nowadays weren't even born when I started working there. Somehow I've become the eclectic old guy #KCACOLS
ReplyDeleteTotally get this although I don't think our brains ever really grow old maybe get a little slower much later but I think we will always feel young. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time
ReplyDeleteAs a 40 something mama of 3 kids I really do feel like I am still in my 20's! My parents had me in their 40's and most people thought they were younger parents. They taught me how to keep on partying and to keep on doing what we enjoy regardless of age xx #KCACOLS
ReplyDeleteHmmm, yes... Been there, Lydia, and I can understand exactly how you feel. Ageism is alive and well, and I was made aware of it in the Netherlands when I lived there on and off for a few months. They have a very youth-oriented culture (not helped by the fact that they admit they export their oldies to Belgium since nursing homes there are cheaper). The first question I was asked when I met people was invariably: "How old are you?". I was nonplussed the first couple of times, but then I savvied up and had great fun with the answers...
ReplyDeleteBut I love this quote:
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
PS: Thanks for taking part in the "My Sunday Best" meme.
ReplyDeletePPS: Something on the topic I wrote a while back:
ReplyDeletehttps://nicholasjv.blogspot.com/2013/10/reflecting-on-old-age.html
Off to check out...
DeleteI'm 33 but feel a lot older when I'm at the pre-school gates, all the other mums seem to be a lot younger than me and a lot thinner- I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me.
ReplyDeleteKatrina x
#fortheloveofblog
My last milestone was 40. I dreaded it, but now I'm here, a few years in, I love it. I try and look upon getting older as a privilege. But you are right, inside I don't feel any different to my twenties! Thanks for linking up to #fortheloveofblog
ReplyDeleteI think we all feel a lot longer in our heads and it can be a shock to be reminded otherwise. Those boots look fabulous on you! Thanks for linking up with #ForTheLoveofBlog
ReplyDeleteI am with you on the lockdown weight. Also age is just a number it is hpiw otu feel inside that counts x
ReplyDeleteFirstly, thank you for linking up and sharing our SSPS pinned image.
ReplyDeleteYou're not OLD, you have matured and we are so fortunate.
Thanks so much for participating and sharing at SSPS 324. See you again next week at #325 https://esmesalon.com/tag/seniorsalonpitstop/
Please do not forget to come and join each W-S #WordlessWednesday (Words Welcome) https://esmesalon.com/es-40-wordlesswednesday//