The M word

I'm just being silly. No hushed voices here. Menopause needs to be talked about, loudly, frequently and often. In mixed company. Otherwise more girls will grow up to be an old lady who apparently knows NOTHING about what's normal for the biologically female body. I fortunately joined a facebook group and am learning a lot. There is so much that is normal that people just don't talk about. Or didn't.

I think when we teach our daughters about periods, we should be teaching them also about menopause, because it is all the same thing. Currently we teach puberty akin to people who focus on the wedding day and not the marriage. Puberty and menopause are the same journey, just at different ends of the voyage. I am finding it ridiculous as an educated adult how much basic information I didn't know.

Emotionally I'm okay with it all. No negative feelings but the physical stuff is alarming until you understand what it is.

However, it's not all bad news and that's the bit we really need to talk about!

I just finished listening to (on Audible) The Menopause Manifesto by Dr Jennifer Gunter. It's a great book and 13 hours of detailed medical information covering symptoms, medicine, herbal remedies, diet, sleep, stigma, emotions and a gazillion other things. She also includes history and how the patriarchy has affected how women feel about menopause, and the importance of grandmothers on the world. Even though a lot of it didn't apply to me (yet), I found it really interesting and engaging.

However, there are two important points that no one ever talks about and I feel everyone should know - men and women. My two takeaways* after 13 hours of detailed information are this: Women going through menopause should get more oral sex as that solves a lot of problems (note get, not give) and they should also masturbate more in general as that might help a lot of wellbeing and physical issues too (not necessarily related to sex).

There you go, Doctor's orders! Peri-menopause is YOUR time!

*I might owe Dr Gunter an apology, that after all her indepth information and well researched historical analysis, I have focused on two throwaway lines in the book. If you feel that isn't the sort of information you need to know, don't dismiss the book. It has something for everyone and is in no way frivolous or dismissive in arguments or ideas. It has great advice on how to frame the experience with a different lens too.

PS. If you haven't seen this film, it's great. I went with my friend and her mum, and her mum was the first person to tell me that you could have hot flushes for TEN years! You can go through Menopause for a full decade! By the way, I am aware I use Menopause incorrectly - another side effect of my lack of education on this matter. My understanding now is if you are experiencing symptoms, then you are in Peri-Menopause. If you are finished, you are in Menopause (you have reached menopause?). Though feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.