Linking an old post on The Lounge topic of the Park - why do people with kids think they own parks? They are for everyone, and in this case, surely big enough to share....
I had planned a really touching post about my near empty suitcase but that will have to wait. I read this article in the Huffington Post and it made me so angry initially I had to jump online and write about it on a forum. I've calmed down now, but my initial reaction to the article has me perplexed.
There is a statue of a disjointed woman with naked breasts, sexting, in the park, and this mother is petitioning to get it removed because her kids use the park - read more HERE.
My anger at this woman, and more the double standard she represents, was based on this: Babies have to be allowed in restaurants, and breast feeding has to be acceptable everywhere but parks apparently are solely the domain of children? Shouldn't children and their parents have to be tolerant and considerate of the other park users? Nature lovers, lovers, old people, unemployed or just people that like to go to parks - don't they have rights? Does our whole world have to revolve around children? In the same week the world applauded the 'cute' and 'considerate' parents that handed out candy to a plane load of passengers asking for tolerance of their twin babies behaviour on the flight, this mother (and those 4,700 people that signed the petition to remove the art work from a public place) showed no tolerance of anyone in society beyond her children (or children in general). In a 300 acre park, I think you could avoid the statue in the future if you didn't want your kids to see it, surely that is the only recourse in protest you have to take?
What it has got me pondering however, after my initial extreme reaction (equally as disproportional to the stimulus as the Kansas mother's): What about the rights of the childless? They're fast becoming second class citizens. They're like the smokers you see crowded around stairwells outside buildings - the areas they enjoy have been altered to accommodate children. It's no wonder the derogatory terms such a 'breeder' occur. By childless, I mean those without children in tow - maybe they never had children, maybe their children have grown to adults.
There's a certain level of hypocrisy in this bullying 'Motherhood'. If you can post photos of breast feeding on Facebook (and that's beautiful or political or both), surely a statue of a naked breast is no big deal?
Whether you like the art or not, is another thing, but the argument is that it's not appropriate because children use the park...well, so do other people, and maybe they need to be accommodated too. There are probably plenty of childless people who also don't like the statue, but they aren't asking for it to be removed.
For the record, I have three kids, I take them everywhere, I breast fed them (everywhere) and I'm sure I was (and am) at times a total pain to my childless friends. Also for the record, while no art expert, I looked at that statue and saw that it was making a negative comment about the practice of sexting - I did, however, think it was the work of a woman, not a man. I find it quite interesting that I assumed a man wouldn't make a provoking artwork on that topic, that shows concern for the woman and what she is actually doing to herself (but clearly my sexism is topic for another day).
So here's the rub, perhaps my anger is at myself, because I can see my behaviour is at times, even on this issue, a double standard?
Monday, 10 September 2012
Thursday, 6 September 2012
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
I was going to call this simply "En garde" which would probably work better to promote it (catching the attention of all those who wondered what they had to be on guard for...but when you're on thin ice, you might as well dance, I say).
So to bring those that didn't read about the shooting idea, and the start of THE LIST (read here) up to speed - I am doing a 40 after 40 list, inspired by the wonderful Emily Kaufman, The Travel Mom (but you need to help me with a better list name, as I've stolen that from another blogger (Home Life Simplified) and really need to come up with my own title (as I may not stop at 40, may just keep going endlessly - run for cover!!).
So the shooting is booked for 13th October, and today, out of nowhere (Travelzoo) an email came in offering discounted beginners classes to fencing.
And that was my A-HA! moment. Number 2. I'd love to try that. I click on the details to make it's not too far away, and believe it or not, it's 1 km from my house! Seriously I would drive past it about 4 times a day. I have NEVER seen it. How is this possible? You would think, if I drove past something 20 times a week, 960 times a year, that I might have spotted it ONCE?! Which is why I can tell you now I'd be an unreliable witness.
So I've got my voucher, will get to the lessons once school holidays finish. I actually also have a list, because one thing does not a list make...
Torshlusspanik List (I really need help with this title!)
1. Shooting
2. Fencing
Fugu is not making the list.
I hope I am as excited by the actual fencing as I am by the IDEA of fencing..."So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six-fingered man and say, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
So to bring those that didn't read about the shooting idea, and the start of THE LIST (read here) up to speed - I am doing a 40 after 40 list, inspired by the wonderful Emily Kaufman, The Travel Mom (but you need to help me with a better list name, as I've stolen that from another blogger (Home Life Simplified) and really need to come up with my own title (as I may not stop at 40, may just keep going endlessly - run for cover!!).
So the shooting is booked for 13th October, and today, out of nowhere (Travelzoo) an email came in offering discounted beginners classes to fencing.
And that was my A-HA! moment. Number 2. I'd love to try that. I click on the details to make it's not too far away, and believe it or not, it's 1 km from my house! Seriously I would drive past it about 4 times a day. I have NEVER seen it. How is this possible? You would think, if I drove past something 20 times a week, 960 times a year, that I might have spotted it ONCE?! Which is why I can tell you now I'd be an unreliable witness.
So I've got my voucher, will get to the lessons once school holidays finish. I actually also have a list, because one thing does not a list make...
Torshlusspanik List (I really need help with this title!)
1. Shooting
2. Fencing
Fugu is not making the list.
I hope I am as excited by the actual fencing as I am by the IDEA of fencing..."So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six-fingered man and say, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
Monday, 3 September 2012
I do not like it, Sam I am!
Linking up for I Must Confess on unusual food because I've not eaten much in that line, having a strong sense of repugnance, and never being able to get my head across the idea of it...
Would you, could you, on a plane?
Would you, could you, on a train?
Would you, could you, do you dare?
Would you eat Fugu anywhere?
I am off to KL and they have restaurant with a fugu licensed chef. Fugu is the Japanese pufferfish delicacy that can be deadly if not prepared properly. Thus a chef must undergo a rigorous training for three years (eating their own creations - new meaning on a fail! No do over!) in order to get the permit to prepare the Fugu.
I am tempted because I think it would be interesting to feel the mild numbing of the lips (if enough of the poison is present - but not too much to do harm), however I know I'm too much of a hypochondriac not to think I'm dying and ruin the whole experience by freaking out. Intellectually, I know that it's been eaten in Japan for the last 2000 years, and deaths are minimal - but I'm not one to let facts get in the way of a good hysteria (Before I set women back 50 years - please note it is an individual idiosyncratic feature, not a feminine trait).
I also am not the world's biggest fish fan, so if it's in a sauce to make it tasty, then it may as well be Kingfish and cost me half as much.
So like everything when I need help with a rationalization, I did a poll on Facebook. No one said I should, no women said they would, one woman's ex husband had - said the sauces were very nice and that it was extremely expensive - didn't think so much of the fish itself.
So, the question dear readers (dear reader?) is:
Would you eat Fugu?
Have you eaten it?
Do you recommend it as a must do?
Would you, could you, on a plane?
Would you, could you, on a train?
Would you, could you, do you dare?
Would you eat Fugu anywhere?
I am off to KL and they have restaurant with a fugu licensed chef. Fugu is the Japanese pufferfish delicacy that can be deadly if not prepared properly. Thus a chef must undergo a rigorous training for three years (eating their own creations - new meaning on a fail! No do over!) in order to get the permit to prepare the Fugu.
I am tempted because I think it would be interesting to feel the mild numbing of the lips (if enough of the poison is present - but not too much to do harm), however I know I'm too much of a hypochondriac not to think I'm dying and ruin the whole experience by freaking out. Intellectually, I know that it's been eaten in Japan for the last 2000 years, and deaths are minimal - but I'm not one to let facts get in the way of a good hysteria (Before I set women back 50 years - please note it is an individual idiosyncratic feature, not a feminine trait).
I also am not the world's biggest fish fan, so if it's in a sauce to make it tasty, then it may as well be Kingfish and cost me half as much.
So like everything when I need help with a rationalization, I did a poll on Facebook. No one said I should, no women said they would, one woman's ex husband had - said the sauces were very nice and that it was extremely expensive - didn't think so much of the fish itself.
So, the question dear readers (dear reader?) is:
Would you eat Fugu?
Have you eaten it?
Do you recommend it as a must do?
Wednesday, 29 August 2012
FOMO is not a dirty word!
There was an article in the Huffington post that I was alerted to the other day. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/faith-popcorn/fomo-the-only-thing-we-have-to-fear_b_1677856.html) That basically painted Fear of Missing Out, FOMO as a sulky insecurity (it did have the classic line “Ten percent confess that they text during sex.” which is the topic for another blog – about how you probably aren’t having very good sex).
Now as someone who has spent the last 18 years living my life on FOMO, I take great offence at this. Fomo isn’t sitting around sour grape-ing that you weren’t invited somewhere – FOMO is creating every opportunity you can, so you squeeze as much into your one and only precious life. As I’ve said before, Ray Bradbury put it perfectly when he said “Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.”
One of my favourite fomo moments was when I was on maternity leave, making dinner for my then 3 year old and the tv weather man was crossing live from where a rare giant plant was flowering in the Botanical Gardens, first time in 24 years and it would only flower for one day. For the special occasion the Gardens would stay open all night. We dropped everything (put the dinner in a Tupperware container to eat in the car) and headed into town. Within less than 5 minutes of the report, we were in the car. It was probably not the best thought out plan to be carting an 8 week old in a capsule, who’d want a feed while in the queue to get into the greenhouse, and the whole exercise took over 2 hours, even though we live 5kms from the city. But that’s now crossed off the list. My three year old was the one who went around telling everyone in amazement “We just got up and went!”. I think he was more impressed with the surprising spontaneity than the big stinky plant.
My midlife crises moment was when I woke in a panic, as I realised that I would never get to see the heads on Easter Island. I know that sounds funny but I sunk into a depression as I grappled with that fact. Every thing I do now, at this stage of life, comes at a cost of missing out on something else. There is only so much time and money to go round, and with three kids there doesn’t seem to be enough of either. However, my good friend pointed out that if I wanted it enough, I’d make it happen. That to me is the driving nature of FOMO.
On the upside, while planning adventures and activities like a dervish, I see a lot of things I probably wouldn’t. I also often share these adventures with friends and I derive a lot of happiness from them. I think you can look at the facebook updates of friends and think “I’ll add that to the list” rather than “Why didn’t I get invited?” And I think the former is the true essence of FOMO – not to show off, not to be self indulgent but to get the most enjoyment out of life that you can.
As Benjamin Franklin once said “do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.”
Now as someone who has spent the last 18 years living my life on FOMO, I take great offence at this. Fomo isn’t sitting around sour grape-ing that you weren’t invited somewhere – FOMO is creating every opportunity you can, so you squeeze as much into your one and only precious life. As I’ve said before, Ray Bradbury put it perfectly when he said “Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.”
One of my favourite fomo moments was when I was on maternity leave, making dinner for my then 3 year old and the tv weather man was crossing live from where a rare giant plant was flowering in the Botanical Gardens, first time in 24 years and it would only flower for one day. For the special occasion the Gardens would stay open all night. We dropped everything (put the dinner in a Tupperware container to eat in the car) and headed into town. Within less than 5 minutes of the report, we were in the car. It was probably not the best thought out plan to be carting an 8 week old in a capsule, who’d want a feed while in the queue to get into the greenhouse, and the whole exercise took over 2 hours, even though we live 5kms from the city. But that’s now crossed off the list. My three year old was the one who went around telling everyone in amazement “We just got up and went!”. I think he was more impressed with the surprising spontaneity than the big stinky plant.
My midlife crises moment was when I woke in a panic, as I realised that I would never get to see the heads on Easter Island. I know that sounds funny but I sunk into a depression as I grappled with that fact. Every thing I do now, at this stage of life, comes at a cost of missing out on something else. There is only so much time and money to go round, and with three kids there doesn’t seem to be enough of either. However, my good friend pointed out that if I wanted it enough, I’d make it happen. That to me is the driving nature of FOMO.
On the upside, while planning adventures and activities like a dervish, I see a lot of things I probably wouldn’t. I also often share these adventures with friends and I derive a lot of happiness from them. I think you can look at the facebook updates of friends and think “I’ll add that to the list” rather than “Why didn’t I get invited?” And I think the former is the true essence of FOMO – not to show off, not to be self indulgent but to get the most enjoyment out of life that you can.
As Benjamin Franklin once said “do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.”
Monday, 27 August 2012
What I learnt from Total Recall:
By Lydia C. Lee
1. In a world with hover cars, some people still drive normal cars.
2. In a world with futuristic technology, the deadly assassins still use traditional handguns as the weapon of choice.
3. You can hold hands and shoot while under attack, as long as one of you can shoot left handed and the other right handed.
4. According to my 11 year old companions, all brown haired Caucasian women look the same. They couldn’t tell Biel or Beckinsale apart at the beginning.
5. In a world where police wear full body armour, the higher up the chain you are, the more likely you are to be in an oldschool kevlar jacket – or nothing at all.
6. In a country called New Asia, no Asians hold any positions of importance. (I bet there were a whole lot of actors disappointed to learn they still weren’t going to get speaking parts).
7. The biggest thing I learnt, was that I missed Arnie.
Now I have to stop there. I’d actually written an ode to Arnie and the cheesy hero and my malaise with what’s going on in the world. However, by coincidence, I also watched the original Total Recall last night. It’s terrible. It’s not how I remember it at all.
What I learnt from that Total Recall is:
1. Prostitutes wear 80’s aerobic gear.
2. You could swear way more than you can in films now.
3. In the 90’s future, we wear 80’s clothes.
4. Cars are still cars but square looking (big up for Volvos and Citroens).
5. Arnie is hysterical and knows it. The whole towel turban is proof of that. And escaping in a dress.
6. The biggest thing I learnt was nostalgia is like Rekall, and it implants memories and affection to things that don’t deserve them.
And there in lies the lesson. No matter how we look back on the past, we need to remember it probably wasn’t really better than today. Our memories just dress it up that way.
Thursday, 16 August 2012
What Fresh Hell is this?
By Lydia C. Lee
1. Health fund office at tax time.
2. Tax Time.
3. Nothing sucks the joy out of a morning than making the school lunches for the first day back....
4. Pretty much every song in the top 40 and definitely every song butchered by the 'stars' of tv singing contest show.
5. Why does an 11 year old undo their seatbelt on the freeway? Wtf??!! Hate driving other people's kids to parties.
6. I'm sick of these itablet ads like they’re some great new friend filling our life with fun. Where's the ad where the kids hog it and the parents get annoyed?
7. Gross Public toilets. I don’t think I need to elaborate, but do those people do that at home? Will I one day go visiting a new friend and head to the bathroom only to find excrement wiped on the walls?
8. 50 shades of crazy. It's set in the school yard - and it's not talking about the kids!!! Best seller? (and I really can’t elaborate on that one!)
9. Autotune – enough already!!
10. Cinema car park on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
11. Needy friends playing games for attention - I thought I left that behaviour 20 years ago...
12. Too many 3 year olds hopped up on sugar at party…can only end badly (and loudly).
13. Is there more reality tv on at the moment than ever before? (or am I just missing the Olympics?)
14. Women’s interests media sites that really only serve to divide women. Cheap shots at easy targets to get comments…
15. Celebrities that become mothers and now seem to think that they are famous for their parenting and birthing advice. And they get attention for those comments, as if their opinion is important advice for the rest of us.
More of those moments when my brain just can’t compute the overwhelming idiocy of the world we live in will come, but in the meantime, feel free to add your own.
1. Health fund office at tax time.
2. Tax Time.
3. Nothing sucks the joy out of a morning than making the school lunches for the first day back....
4. Pretty much every song in the top 40 and definitely every song butchered by the 'stars' of tv singing contest show.
5. Why does an 11 year old undo their seatbelt on the freeway? Wtf??!! Hate driving other people's kids to parties.
6. I'm sick of these itablet ads like they’re some great new friend filling our life with fun. Where's the ad where the kids hog it and the parents get annoyed?
7. Gross Public toilets. I don’t think I need to elaborate, but do those people do that at home? Will I one day go visiting a new friend and head to the bathroom only to find excrement wiped on the walls?
8. 50 shades of crazy. It's set in the school yard - and it's not talking about the kids!!! Best seller? (and I really can’t elaborate on that one!)
9. Autotune – enough already!!
10. Cinema car park on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
11. Needy friends playing games for attention - I thought I left that behaviour 20 years ago...
12. Too many 3 year olds hopped up on sugar at party…can only end badly (and loudly).
13. Is there more reality tv on at the moment than ever before? (or am I just missing the Olympics?)
14. Women’s interests media sites that really only serve to divide women. Cheap shots at easy targets to get comments…
15. Celebrities that become mothers and now seem to think that they are famous for their parenting and birthing advice. And they get attention for those comments, as if their opinion is important advice for the rest of us.
More of those moments when my brain just can’t compute the overwhelming idiocy of the world we live in will come, but in the meantime, feel free to add your own.
Sunday, 12 August 2012
Home, Home on the Gun Range
By Lydia C. Lee
I have been inspired by Emily Kaufman, The Travel Mom, who set herself the challenge in her 49th year, of doing 49 new things before she turns 50. (See http://www.49before50.com/). I think it’s a brilliant idea, so that instead of becoming set in her ways, she’s setting out to see what else in life she might like. I too, have decided to follow suit – but no set number for me, and I may as well start now, to get a bit of a head start.
Now as I have spent the last two weeks in an Olympic swirl, and encouraged by the fact that there was a 62 year old shooter amongst the athletes, I have decided to take up competitive shooting, and who knows, maybe in four years or so, I can add ‘being in the Olympic Opening Ceremony’ as one of my new experiences.
I hunted down a rifle range that has a ‘try shooting’ programme. I mentioned to my 12 year old my intentions and he asked if he could come too. I said ‘sure thing, will check the ages’. When I mentioned this in passing to my partner, he was VERY unimpressed. There is not a lot in the parenting that he volunteers input into, but let me tell you, this was it! Needless to say, this will be an adults only enterprise…
Now before you write me off as some sort of crazy gun-toting redneck or war mongering violophile, I’m not into hunting, or even practicing with the outline of a person. I’m talking the distance target like an archery target, which I might add, my partner had no issue with said son participating in when he was 9. I don’t even like ‘those’ video games and lecture my son regularly on the danger of marketing soft terms like ‘friendly fire’ that those games promote. I’m a pacifist, and would never dream of owning a gun, or having a gun in the house. I can however, see the skill in the sport. I can see it as an exercise in discipline, patience and accuracy.
So I am to set off alone on this new adventure (and I will see for myself if it was ill-thought out parenting). Except surprisingly, I won’t be by myself. I mentioned the rifle range to a number of friends and they thought it was a BRILLIANT idea. All female. One of these women is the most elegant, well spoken and artistic people that I know – Ironically, she thought taking the kids was also a great idea. It’s a reminder that we don’t all think the same, yet invariably, amongst our friends, are one or two who do, and that is probably what drew us together in the first place. It also highlights that I harbour ill informed and other judgemental attitudes towards this particular exercise too.
So now I just need to find a date – see if it’s fun, see if I like it and see if I can do it. Now that it’s down to brass tacks, I am remembering my hilarious attempt of skeet shooting twenty years ago, on a cruise. I missed every single skeet except the last, and I found the gun hurt my shoulder with the recoil. The rifle range I'm looking at is the old Olympic site, so that might have to be as close as I get, but I can still say I did shooting at the Olympics(ite).
I’m very keen to try it, but am also contemplating my next challenge, as forming the list may be as much fun as completing it…but for now:
Life changing new experiences (or activity I don’t need to ever do again – depending how it goes)*
1. Shooting.
Ray Bradbury said it best “Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.” That is my new aim, and I think they’re very wise words to live by.
*As you can see, I need a far more alluring name for my list. Suggestions welcome!
Linking with #ANewWhirl
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