FOMO is not a dirty word!

There was an article in the Huffington post that I was alerted to the other day. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/faith-popcorn/fomo-the-only-thing-we-have-to-fear_b_1677856.html) That basically painted Fear of Missing Out, FOMO as a sulky insecurity (it did have the classic line “Ten percent confess that they text during sex.” which is the topic for another blog – about how you probably aren’t having very good sex).

Now as someone who has spent the last 18 years living my life on FOMO, I take great offence at this. Fomo isn’t sitting around sour grape-ing that you weren’t invited somewhere – FOMO is creating every opportunity you can, so you squeeze as much into your one and only precious life. As I’ve said before,  Ray Bradbury put it perfectly when he said “Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.”

One of my favourite fomo moments was when I was on maternity leave, making dinner for my then 3 year old and the tv weather man was crossing live from where a rare giant plant was flowering in the Botanical Gardens, first time in 24 years and it would only flower for one day. For the special occasion the Gardens would stay open all night. We dropped everything (put the dinner in a Tupperware container to eat in the car) and headed into town. Within less than 5 minutes of the report, we were in the car. It was probably not the best thought out plan to be carting an 8 week old in a capsule, who’d want a feed while in the queue to get into the greenhouse, and the whole exercise took over 2 hours, even though we live 5kms from the city. But that’s now crossed off the list. My three year old was the one who went around telling everyone in amazement “We just got up and went!”. I think he was more impressed with the surprising spontaneity than the big stinky plant.

My midlife crises moment was when I woke in a panic, as I realised that I would never get to see the heads on Easter Island. I know that sounds funny but I sunk into a depression as I grappled with that fact. Every thing I do now, at this stage of life, comes at a cost of missing out on something else. There is only so much time and money to go round, and with three kids there doesn’t seem to be enough of either. However, my good friend pointed out that if I wanted it enough, I’d make it happen. That to me is the driving nature of FOMO.

On the upside, while planning adventures and activities like a dervish, I see a lot of things I probably wouldn’t. I also often share these adventures with friends and I derive a lot of happiness from them. I think you can look at the facebook updates of friends and think “I’ll add that to the list” rather than “Why didn’t I get invited?” And I think the former is the true essence of FOMO – not to show off, not to be self indulgent but to get the most enjoyment out of life that you can.
As Benjamin Franklin once said “do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.”