I was reading a blog that had been reposted (What was the biggest day of your life? By Nita Green). The gist was that the wedding day is spoken of, prior to the wedding, as the most important day of your life, but that really, life is made up of many important moments. They then asked what was the readers most important day of their lives, and predictably, most people said the birth of my child/ren. I understand why people say that, given the focus on the birth experience these days and motherhood in general. I agree the birth of a child is a life changing one, but is it the most important day of your life? It is like saying the graduation day more important than what you learnt all those days at University or the wedding is more important than those 20 years of marriage that follow. It is the start of something new and wonderful, but it is hardly the most important aspect of that journey. If you had one day to relive, would it really be the day of your child’s birth? Surely it would be a special moment shared with that child, when their personality was shining brightest?
What I would argue is, if the birth of your child is the most important day of your life, then any interaction with that child, as they evolve into an independent adult is less important to you than your birth experience – let’s face it, there’s not a huge interaction from the child’s point of view. For me, I would rank higher than the day of their birth, the special moments shared - the joy of playing with bubbles together as they squeal with delight, the feeling of relief and pride when my 8 year old for the first time ever, decided to finish by himself a chapter book I'd been reading to him, or the belly laugh of a shared joke with my 11 year old in a moment when we were equals, rather than mother and son. Everyday there are tiny (or great) moments that are to be cherished and valued, in the same way the special moments with your partner, 10 years down the track are romantic, kind or supportive gestures, not really memories of your wedding day.
A number of my favourite memories don't even include my kids, some don't even include my husband. The list is too many to mention and as to naming the most important? I really couldn't even try. Happiness is hard to quantify – is one moment of happiness really more joyous than the next? Whatever it may be?
My answer to the question? The most important day in my life is today. If it's not important or special then I've wasted it.
Can you narrow it down to a single day?
Linking up this old post with #MummyMondays and #OpenSlather because the topic came up over the weekend with friends, and it reminded me I'd written about it.
What a fantastic post! I have many of these in the moment experiences with my 13 year old Son in particular - he is such an old soul. I try to live in the moment with my kids (not always well), but I was chasing these moments when I chose to have a large family. X
ReplyDeleteTotally agree - I can't boil it down to one day and geez the birth experience certainly wasn't a high for me....although obviously having our gorgeous daughter was! Great post
ReplyDeleteSo glad you linked this up Lydia. It reminds me of the quote “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” So make the most of it. I think it is very difficult to pinpoint a single most important day for all the reasons you state here. I can think of a lot of pivotal days but as for the most important? I hope, in a way, they are yet to come. I would hate to think there is nothing else of importance left in front of me x
ReplyDeleteI don't think the birth is the best day. Meeting each child, and sitting and bonding with them, when it's just you and the baby sitting in a hospital room, are memories, I will never forget. It I hard to say that any one day is better than the others, but days were there were lots of love, laughter, unforgettable moments and happiness that linger and remain in my mind rank pretty high.
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