What I learnt from Total Recall:

By Lydia C. Lee

1. In a world with hover cars, some people still drive normal cars.
2. In a world with futuristic technology, the deadly assassins still use traditional handguns as the weapon of choice.
3. You can hold hands and shoot while under attack, as long as one of you can shoot left handed and the other right handed.
4. According to my 11 year old companions, all brown haired Caucasian women look the same. They couldn’t tell Biel or Beckinsale apart at the beginning.
5. In a world where police wear full body armour, the higher up the chain you are, the more likely you are to be in an oldschool kevlar jacket – or nothing at all.
6. In a country called New Asia, no Asians hold any positions of importance. (I bet there were a whole lot of actors disappointed to learn they still weren’t going to get speaking parts).
7. The biggest thing I learnt, was that I missed Arnie.
Now I have to stop there. I’d actually written an ode to Arnie and the cheesy hero and my malaise with what’s going on in the world. However, by coincidence, I also watched the original Total Recall last night. It’s terrible. It’s not how I remember it at all.
What I learnt from that Total Recall is:
1. Prostitutes wear 80’s aerobic gear.
2. You could swear way more than you can in films now.
3. In the 90’s future, we wear 80’s clothes.
4. Cars are still cars but square looking (big up for Volvos and Citroens).
5. Arnie is hysterical and knows it. The whole towel turban is proof of that. And escaping in a dress.
6. The biggest thing I learnt was nostalgia is like Rekall, and it implants memories and affection to things that don’t deserve them.
And there in lies the lesson. No matter how we look back on the past, we need to remember it probably wasn’t really better than today. Our memories just dress it up that way.