Sandwichkind

In #Lifethisweek we're discussing birth order. I want to limit that specifically to the middle child, in German the apt 'Sandwichkind'. In an article by Sabine Haas, she talks of the middle child needing to find their role in the family as 'the middle child feels like the famous fifth wheel on the car - is superfluous'. I watch my own middle child struggle at times to find his place, and as the teen hormones kick in, I'm fighting to eliminate a lonely distance that normal teen withdrawal may create in the child that possibly feels neglected by his parents and victim to his siblings who gang up on either side. The trick is to plan some time alone, some time when they get the attention, some time when they come first - and let them hear you telling the others exactly that. That today the middle child's activity or needs takes priority.

In the holidays, when my youngest went to a friend's house, we had a day to do his heart's desire. I love the fun we have together when it's the two of us. The dynamic changes significantly. I'm already planning a date night to watch Kingsman (and we went to Baywatch together a deux - these teen movies are OUR thing). It doesn't really matter what you do - play monopoly, cook a meal together. The activity isn't important, it's the exclusion of the others and the undivided attention that counts. It doesn't happen often enough in our house, but I am trying to work in a regular celebration of the Nacht des mittleren Kindes. You may remember when 2 school camps resulted in an almost empty nest; in the year since then there's really only been 3 or 4 times we've managed to really celebrate our wonderful boy.

On the plus, the middle child learns to be a diplomat and an ease that helps them make friends. So this finding their place in the family helps them eventually find their place in the world too. We just need to make them feel important and secure in their role until they get there.

What do you think about birth order? Do you notice the difference?

Linking with #MummyMondays #KalCols #GlobalBlogging #DreamTeam #Humpdaylinky

"There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself.” - Anthony Rapp.

I read a post the other day I didn't like. The post itself was fine, it was an interesting dissection of a comment made to the writer by a friend. What I didn't like was an offhand comment the blogger made about herself. I have written before that we don't need to believe everything we think, and that I think we'd all be so much happier with a little Kanye in our head. The real question is why do we self sabotage? Why do we get in our own way? Why are we the voice that puts us down?

We can learn a lot from young children. A three or four year old thinks everything they do is great. They don't compare themselves to others, they just look at what they made or did and love it for the effort they put into it. They love the way they look, no matter if they're still in their pyjama pants and haven't brushed their hair. We need to start to learn from those who are evidently wiser than we are.

We need to be our own best friend. You hear that voice telling you that you're fat, ugly or hopeless, tell it to shut up. Literally say out loud "No. Not today".You wouldn't let someone talk to a friend like that, so why do you let someone say it to you?

Value yourself. See the value in all that you do. Inner peace comes once you remove the drama in your head.

My challenge to all of you for this week, is try it. When you feel doubt come in, say "Why not me?" and write the piece, enter the competition, run the race - whatever it is you want to do. When you look in the mirror and the negative thoughts creep in, ask yourself what Kanye would say? When you put yourself down out of habit, stop and rephrase it. Say it out loud in the positive. If you catch a friend doing the same, stop them. Drag them along with you.

You are valuable and your opinion of yourself is worth more than the opinion of others. This week, be awesome. Own it and try whatever you want to, even if it feels awkward or unnatural. Like Kanye says “I refuse to follow the rules where society tries to control people with low self-esteem"

Let me know how it goes. I'm going to do it too. Let's see if there's a difference (or we get a grammy)?

Linking with #ParentPower as I'm noticing this mass of insecuriteis is hitting my youngest's peer group and we need to lead the way on this. Around 11-12 they seem to start doubting themselves and their worth - just in time for High School!

Domes on the Pier

  

I mentioned I am constantly planning, driven by FOMO I move from one event to the next, hatching plans. One thing I miss in Winter is those lazy afternoons, enjoying sunset over the harbour. So when I saw the igloos at Pier One, I knew I had to book one and celebrate.

We arrived at 5 for sunset, alas the clouds had moved in however only to destroy the view. The weather had been a summery 27 degrees, so the igloo was more of a sauna than a cosy cocoon. However, it only meant we didn't need the fire or the fur blankets. The champagne and cocktails were chilled and more importantly, the laughs were abundant.

If you swing by and they're not booked, you're able to take advantage of the igloos. However, to be certain, gather a posse and book one for a few hours. You have until mid August before they disappear. "Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face." Victor Hugo

(When we arrived there were hundreds of convicts running around as part of a scavenger hunt. It was hilarious!)

When you're drinking champagne with friends on the harbour, how can you not love life?
Linking with #WanderfulWednesday #Thrumylens #TravelPhotoThursday & #WeeklyPostcard

A cup of tea is a excuse to share great thoughts with great minds - Christina Re

On Saturday my high tea season kicked off. I headed to the Calyx for High Tea amongst the flowers with my nieces. Dressed in my Alice finery, which Wonderland earings to boot, we settled in for some champagne, tea and of course conversation. We covered movies, book clubs, house prices (we are in Sydney after all) and parents not treating you like an adult (I had to defend the parents, because I am one). And my favourite topic of all, travel.

It was a lovely few hours sitting still and connecting. Then we went on our way and back to our separate weekends.

While it is not cheap, it's certainly a lovely way to catch up with friends for conversation. For a few hours it was easy to love life.

“There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.” 
― Henry James, The Portrait of a Lady

Linking with #TforTuesday

Haunted 2017 - out on the farm

It's been awhile since I've done any of this, but a stroll around Fagan Park seemed to inspire my interest again, so without further ado, here's my first attempt at the Haunted series for 2017.

Hopefully not my last.





They didn't work out entirely as I wanted them to, so I think the year's hiatus may have deteriorated my knack (my eye?) for these.

Do you ever make every day items and scenery seem haunted?

Linking this old post with #WeekendinB&W   

Thinking in lockdown I should get back onto this project...

First of the Month Fiction - August.

Having sulked a little I didn't make the cut (oh yes, the ego was in overdrive again), I was thrilled when I looked to see if friends had made the anthology to discover my name in the list! A little validation goes a long way.

I am still struggling to submit for museum of words, so this will be brief.

Newbies, write a story in 100 words exactly or one less than 30 words. Pop it in the comments then link your blog so we can see your unfettered glory. Mine is 30 words.

There was another offering beside her bed when she woke. A show of love, carefully placed by her shoes.
It's time to find a new spot for the dog's bed.

I know, it's a bit rubbish but I can't get the word count to work...so show me how to do it. I've lost my mojo!

You have until the 12th August.

Linking with#GlobalBlogging

An InLinkz Link-up

Can't live without....

Realistically we can live without a lot. I started to answer this prompt quite differently however last night, I had a realisation. I've organised 2 group events in the last week, and the logistics and rudeness of some people was getting on my nerves. I decided I'd wait until there was some reciprocation before bothering to do it again. And then I saw a stunning photo of the igloo bar that popped up in Sydney (see here if you don't know what I'm talking about).  I instantly forgot how jack I was of the effort involved and set to work on planning the next escapade.

So I can't live without something on the horizon to look forward to. I need to make things happen for me. And I do. I understand it's my FOMO as discussed before. I like my FOMO, as it gets me out and about and exploring...It keeps me busy and distracted from the problems and difficulties of my real world.

As for the igloos? Got some numbers, waiting on the cost (and how many people I need to carouse to make it possible.) Fingers crossed and I hope you see an enviable insta post soon!!

What can't you live without?

Linking with #lifethisweek. A big welcome back to the amazing Denyse who seems to be recovering at a rate I would never have imagined (or is a dedicated dynamo!) Also linking with #KALCOLS #Nanahood & #OpenSlather