No two children have the same parents.

I speak repeatedly of becoming aware of my youngest becoming an only child, as the older two live their adult lives. But I realise now her whole life has been slightly different.

It was highlighted when driving home from the Hunter and we decided to stop for lunch on the beach at Terrigal. "Which beach?" she asked. 

"You know, near Star of the sea"

"Where?"

"The place with the water slide between two pools"

"What?"

"We used to go with Ronny and Rex*"

"Which ones are they?"

(*These are friends kids we have know since birth and gone on many weekends away and week's skiing together - the kids match the older two in age, 2 share a name and a week apart in birth days. I made up the names here to protect the innocent)

After I explain, she replies: 

"No, I don't remember."

And it dawned on me she was probably pretty little the last time we went. Every year we would go away to Terrigal for the weekend and share a very glam apartment in a resort with another family. The kids adored it. Even when we thought they were probably too old for it, they asked to go back and after a few years hiatus, we returned. We must have been there 10 times across 14 years....but of course, she would have been 4 or 5 the last time we went.

I don't know if it's my age and ever increasing nostalgia but I felt sad that all these fabulous memories we worked so hard to make for the kids someone elude the youngest.

It dawned on me, that while I was well aware no two children have the same parents, they don't even have the same family memories. Family memories are my memories. My memories of the kids. The kids might have a different memory completely.

Just makes me more resolved to make sure she has some magical ones of her own.

(On the plus, I had taken her and a friend up to the Hunter for the Snow Time so I guess her fun memories are same but different - I just have to work a bit harder to make them happen. I'm now already scheming to get her and some of her friends up to Star of the Sea for some fun on that waterslide....).

Linking with #FriendshipFriday #WordlessWednesday #BlueMonday 

Winter Fog

My favourite activity when i take the kids to the Hunter is to get up early (without them!) and watch the sun rise and chase kangaroos. This time I had less luck with the roos but a fog was envelping the valleys and rising from the lakes and dams.

The world is a beautiful place.

Linking with #KeithsRamblings #ThruMyLens  #AwwMondays for the joey #NaturesNotes #GardenAffair (Nature) #SaturdayCritters #SkyWatch #HeidisHeavenlyGaze #TravelTuesday #DND

 

Taking a break

 I am taking a break to get the corporate tax stuff done and then focus on the school holidays.  I will be offline for most of it but no doubt will pop up here and there....because I miss you all.

If you miss me, I'll be on Insta here, hopefully doing some fun things....

The #Allseasons link up is here.

Remember double demerits. Drive safely and have a good break if you are off somewhere.

See you on the flipside.

Linking with #AwwMondays because it is a bit Aw(e) inspiring... #Saturdayscritters #SundayBest #GardenAffair #Skywatch and #HeidisHeavelyGaze

Some resources for supporting someone with an illness

I have had a number of friends diagnosed with cancer lately, so I revisited this book and podcast so I could be a better support person (and not be well meaning but annoying, which I suspect is my natural inclination).

There is a chapter in Augusten Burrough's book This is How on How to be sick. It covers the experience of diagnosis and then most importantly, discusses how you shouldn't run away with all the what if's. How to stick in the moment with only the symptoms you have at the time, not what is coming. It's focus is getting the most out of living in the moment with disease. 

With my Dad there were so many medical decisions to make (he had a million diseases going on the trot and all the doctors had conflicting advise about whose operation should go first*). This book helped me say to Mum that whatever decision she mad, she couldn't look back in hindsight with regret and doubt her judgement. She was making the decision with all the information she had at the time. 

The other is in the Grief Podcast. This episode is on grieving the life you had before diagnosis, and dealing with the reminder of the cancer if it resulted in physical changes you see in the mirror everyday as a reminder. Plus annoying things well meaning people say. So good for the support people to listen to. I need to say she is recovered so it won't be upsetting for the people if they are at the start of the diagnosis.

Not a cheery post but hopefully if you are wanting to give useful support to people, it gives you a few starting places to educate yourself a little.

Linking with #GardenAffair  & #RubyTuesdayToo (just for the photos) #WWandP. and #TrafficJamWeekend

Birds on my Morning Walk

 

Linking with #Skywatch and #HeidisHeavelyGaze

A morning walk by the harbour will always bring you across the path of many birds. Not necessarily exotic but sweet all the same.

I was trying to catch the birds reflections in the water in the above shot....

As always, plenty of pigeons....

Also a pelican in flight.....

And on the water.

It really was a delight. Sometimes you don't need wings for your mood to soar.

Linking with #MCoW #PictorialPotpourri #TheRandom #DND #SundayBest #NaturesNotes #SaturdayCritters #GardenAffair #WildbirdWednesday

Reflection

 Turned the corner and the mural was reflected in the car window like a passenger....

Short & Sweet for #WordlessWednesday #WWOT #SundayBest #HappyTuesday because it made me smile! 

Wherever you go, go with all your heart. Confucius

 Or in this case, I'm going where the hearts are....

and I'm seeing them everywhere.

It's funny how the smallest things can make you smile.

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Linking with #MondayMurals (tho not sure if you accept graffiti?)