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Monday, 9 March 2020

The great thing about new friends is that they bring new energy to your soul. -Shanna Rodriguez

I stumbled across this article on how to make new friends as an adult. I initially thought 'Outside of the kids' schools, I've never made new friends since Uni or work'. But then I realised this wasn't true. I started the Wednesday Club and a friend invited her friend as a regular. That other person has no kids and I like to go out more than most, so often, she's my 'yes man'. The person who I ask when I need someone to do something with. We like similar things, and have broad interests, so anything on science or philosophy, she's become my first point of call.

I then realised last year I also made a new friend at a friend's 50th. We started talking and at the end of the night she asked to FB friend me. I was a little taken aback, to be honest, but didn't want to be rude so said yes. We have political issues in common so frequently discuss those and she's coming to the Festival of Dangerous Ideas with me.

Of course it would be remiss not to mention the blogging friends - an online world of contact that extends into real life from time to time.

So while I agree it's harder to make friends in later years, and outside of work, it is still possible if you put yourself out there.

I think the world gets as small as we let it.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.-Anaïs Nin
Have you kept adding to your circle? Linking with #TwinklyTuesday #KCACOLS and #StayClassyMama


Confessions of a New Mummy

23 comments:

  1. It is harder to make friends once your kids grow up or so I thought. I had work friends...Then I left work. I moved around the country a lot. Now Im officially retired have been for 6 years but now its official. I am the publicity officer of a club called the VIEW Club, I play darts one night a week and I volunteer at an opportunity shop 2 half days a week. I can now say I have a small circle of beautiful friends where I live Im also still friends with a school friend. 59 years of friendship ...#MLSTL

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  2. I have a lot of friends I have made through blogging and they are all around the world. I find it harder to make friends in real life, but I really should try harder.

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  3. I find, as an adult, friends enter from some unexpected places. I don't have a lot of good friends but my "Inner Circle" are amazing and vital and precious! and Fun!

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    1. I like that term 'unexpected places'. I might steal...

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  4. I agree with you that it’s harder to make new friends as adults. But I did manage to do it when I moved to a new area alone in my 50s. I decided it was up to me to put myself forward. Nobody was going to come knocking on my door. One of the best things about blogging is the beautiful friends I’ve made. A bonus I never expected

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    1. I think our natural inclination is to not put ourselves forward, but the minute you do, most people are keen to widen their circle...

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  5. Lydia I've felt the difficulty of making new friends since my kids finished school. Old friends drift off when they move house or change direction - or just drift away, and it's been hard to find "quality" new people. But when I stop and think about it, I've made several new friends over the last decade through church and through tai chi. And I LOVE my blogging friends - those relationships are really special to me - maybe because we often bare our souls on our blogs?

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  6. Hi Lydia, Love the quote from Anais Nin and think it's wonderful and courageous to risk making new friends at any age. Friendships can help us engage in living more fully, as well as enrich our lives. Aren't we fortunate we have the choice? #MLSTL

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  7. I love the connections I've made through blogging as well....

    I've never had kids so generally made friends through work in adulthood, but not working over recent years means that's changed as well. I have though probably cemented some friendships more during that time. I caught up with a friend this morning and she'd recently left a social group that she was finding annoying (bitchy) and stressful and we agreed we're more likely to make those choices as we get older.

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  8. Like you said, it can be harder, our world becomes smaller...if you let it. When my husband and I moved to Orlando last year, I had a blogging acquaintance, but no friends or relatives in the area. That blogging acquaintance and her husband and children have become our "family" since moving here. Making friends is like trying anything new...you have to put yourself out there and that can be scary.

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  9. I think making friend's at this point in life takes intention. Whether at school or work (or I assume through your kids - I'm childless), the people are just there, so friendships seem to happen more easily. Proximity! But now, I need to reach out - join the club, ask someone to coffee or a drink, look for the commonality. I do hope some of the friends I have made in last 1-2 years turn onto long-term friendships.

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  11. What is the Festival of Dangerous Ideas? It sounds amazing! #StayClassyMama

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    1. I think it's about to be cancelled due to virus. :( It's like a writers festival but with broader speakers - scientists, philosophers etc. Talking climate change, philosophy, porn, whatever...

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  12. I found myself going back to old friends from when I was at school, since realising that ‘mum friends’ aren’t always true friends, but friends by common circumstance. I find it much harder to make friends now as an adult, it’s much harder to let people in than when I was carefree and young! Different friends do bring our different parts of your personality thoigh and I would agree, a new energy! #kcacols

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  13. I've always found it hard to make new friends. But blogging has helped me, as has working in retail where I have made some lovely life log friends too #kcacols

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  14. I've found the older I get it's more about quality than quantity, but it is definitely possible to make new friends.

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  15. Just about every new friend I've made in the past decade has either been a new co-worker or the parent of one of my daughter's friends but I still count myself lucky to have them #KCACOLS

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  16. Friendship is a strange thing to define. I'm not sure that I have any friends now that aren't colleagues or mums of the kids' friends. Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama

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  17. I have such a hard time making friends.
    I think it's partly due to my crazy schedule.
    #KCACOLS

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  18. This is something I struggle with. It was so much easier in my twenties! I love the quote at the end, it's true but I'd never thought of it like that before. Thanks for linking up with #kcacols, hope you can join us again next time!

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