Thursday 10 February 2022

Bitter Disappointment.

 I understand our need for restrictions and the effort to save lives and not overload the hospital system is imperative. In the first lockdown we followed the NZ guidelines, and post the second one, we kept most of the rules in place even when the government turned it into a maskless free for all. However, as we limp around in this strange world, I am now completely confused by the rules that seem randomly applied.

I was so excited when my favourite French singer arrived in the country for SFSC. However, while the Melbourne gig is going ahead, the NSW one is canceled, due to our no singing/no dancing rule. Yet the Red Hot Summer continues to hold their tour where people are dancing (and let's not even mention the Hillsong disgrace). I frantically tried to work out a way to go to Melbourne but I had to let it go with the last flight out of Melbourne being at 9pm.

When I read the news of the cancellation, I almost cried. Literally, tears welled in my eyes. It was as if all the pain of the last few years was consolidated into that moment. My herculean effort of holding it together for everyone else, trying to make their sorrows go away and boost their enjoyment of this strange new world collapsed.

I picked myself up only to get the news yesterday that Tiesto was postponed for another year. This time I had to cancel flights and hotels - my xmas present vanished instantly.

I'm just sad. I feel like my life is passing by.

Before you get all 'first world problems', understand it's more the psychological significance. It's the straw that broke the camel's back. It's been a rough two years and I don't think I'm up for it anymore. Of course I am, but I'm emotionally eroded. I need a break from carrying it all. And for me, the energy I get from dancing in a crowd boosts my energy and recharges my resilience.

As it so often does, my Spotify threw up a song that 100% hit my vibe. "I wanna feel that fire in my blood

Like the way that 2019 was".

 I just need to find another way to feel that fire in my blood, I guess. Just for a little bit longer....

Anyone else hit the wall unexpectedly?

Linking with #FriendshipFriday


  1. ...when it comes to Covid, I think that we need to take a long view of the situation.

    1. Yes, a Dr friend of mine snapped "Just be thankful you don't have it and be happy you can afford so many tickets". She caught it off a patient so I guess it's all perspective...

  2. I understand your disappointment well! Especially since I now believe that we all have to learn to live with the virus. I don't know the current Covid situation in Australia and New Zealand, but at least here in Europe, the omicron variant is mostly up to mischief at the moment. On the one hand, it is highly contagious, but on the other hand it hardly puts a strain on the health system, because most people have a mild course. Especially those who have been vaccinated are hardly affected. Many don't even realize they've been infected - that is, most people are hit harder when they get the flu, and because of influenca was never such drama staged - locking people up "for their safety", no pleasures and opportunities for socializing and thus create mental stress, which for some is much more cruel than a viral disease...
    Hold on!
    All the best, Traude

    1. I live next door to a Covid doctor in a hospital, and have a few other hospital doctors that get put on coivd wards when the hospitals get overloaded so I know better than most the importance of keeping the numbers down, and don't begrudge it. But we have these random no singing and no dancing rules that only seem to apply to some things and not others, and that's the frustration for me. And our idiot said 'no masks' and the 2 weeks of that totally ruined our summer. But in the grand scheme of it all, it's small inconveninces...but really upsetting in a disproportional way emotionally (for me, at least).