I saw this on a wall in Melbourne, and it reminded me of a conversation with a friend who was feeling particularly lost after her marriage ended and most of her kids were now adults. She said 'The thing is, I don't know what I like' and later elaborated 'I don't have any hobbies'. The Tabitha Carvan book I mention here also talks about this. Women in particular push aside their interests, especially once kids come into the picture. They put everyone else in the family first. Trying to meet everyone's needs leaves little time for their own.
And then you arrive at a point with extra time and you suddenly realise you don't know what your burning passions ever were.
So start to nuture them. Or experiment with something new. Find what brings you joy, or sparks your brain. Do that thing you've put off as silly or unrealistic.
If there's one thing we learnt from Grandma Moses, it's never too late. After arthritis made embroidery difficult, she started to paint at the age of 76. With her success, her reputation grew. By her late 80's she was being honoured as Woman of the Year and Mademoiselle magazine even listed her as 'Young Woman of the Year' at 88! Age is not a barrier, only lack of interest. So find out what you love and follow those passions.
She sums up life in her autobiography, My Life's History, that she published at 92 "I look back on my life like a good day's work, it was done and I feel satisfied with it. I was happy and contented, I knew nothing better and made the best out of what life offered. And life is what we make it, always has been, always will be."
Linking with #MuralMondays
Hi: Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting. You said you were going to check out a book I mentioned. I wanted to let you know that I had messed up the name of the book. It's actually "The Bookshop of Secrets" by Mollie Rushmeyer. I am so sorry. However, I'm so glad you visited and that I came and saw this post. Those flowers are absolutely gorgeous and so is that swimming pool. What a wonderful place.
ReplyDeleteThanks for that - I got a whole lot of weird picture book results...will try again.
DeleteI truly believe that following your curiosity is as important as moving your body... Love that saying on the wall.
ReplyDeleteCuriosity is a big part of enjoyment of life, I think
DeleteThis is so true. I was that person! My kids were my purpose and my job took my time. It wasn't until I left the workforce and the kids grew up that I realised I didn't even know who I was. Didn't know what I liked to do or what I might be good at. I've spent the last 10 years trying to work it out! Such a shame that I, and so many other women, leave it till this stage of life to start focussing on ourselves and what we like to do!
ReplyDeleteJust listened to a menopause thing by a dr and she was saying that we needed to prioritise our health but most of us would think of it as selfsih...isn't that just so weird? Yet we do put ourselves last in our own lives more often than not...
DeleteI used to beat myself up a bit because I didn't have a "Passion" but now I realize that I have a lot of varied little "interests" and they fill my days with things that engage my brain and/or my body. I think that's been the secret to me transitioning so well into this semi-retired life - I'm good at finding things that are small but engaging. I won't be world famous, but I'm happy :)
ReplyDeleteHaving a dream or a passion isn't about being famous or successful - it's about activities and interests that fulfill you and bring you great joy. The Cumberbatch book also talks about how we limit ourselves to interests that are viewed as 'acceptable' as we age - Alan Cumming talked about that a lot in his show too - how his friends kept getting younger because his friends felt they were too old to do x or y...
DeleteHello Lydia, Been a while. Lovely post. I recently had the chance of interacting with a 84 year old tribal woman who was conferred one of the highest awards Padma Shree for spreading the Baiga tribal art in her community. She started painting at the age of 63, and has come such a long way.
ReplyDeleteHer family comes from a fairly unprivileged background but her grit and determination changed not just her life but that of an entire village.
Your post was a beautiful reminder that even though I have 3 published books - 2 self published and 1 by a publisher, it's never too late to start.
Wishing you joy!
https://natashamusing.com/2023/01/kindness-word-of-the-year-2023-woty/
Sage advice. I don't have a passion per se but I have a variety of interests that keep me out of mischief and bring me joy. That said, I really believe that you're never too to try something new.
ReplyDeleteThis is such an important topic! As one with many hobbies throughout my life, I've never understood how there are people who don't have any! I don't have kids and may not fully understand but I still think it's important to have something else in life also as a parent. However, so inspiring to hear about your grandma!! It's truly never too late to start with something. A good reminder for myself right now!
ReplyDeleteHi Lydia after working full-time and being a mum I retired and wondered what now? I didn't really know what I liked, no hobbies I was passionate about apart from running and that is when I started my blog. It is such a difficult time when life changes but a great opportunity to take time to rediscover who you are. Thanks for the book recommendation I will check it out. #WWandP
ReplyDeleteit's easy to fall into that trap of putting aside your hobbies Lydia but as you say we need to find that thing that sparks joy and do it. Curiosity is alive and well in my 62 year old bod! Thanks for the reminder and book recommendation.
ReplyDeleteI am glad I took up my art stuff and learned so much from over 10 years ago....and my blog was borne of necessity because once I left the workforce I was socially isolated. I think I have always enjoyed socialising with friends and reading books...the latter has dropped off since social media but I know I did try and enjoy a range of hobbies when I was working too. It was great to see your post shared for this week’s Wednesday’s Words and Pics. I am grateful for your support. I hope to see you next week too. Thank you. Denyse.
ReplyDeleteI suspect I am luckier than most of the people who read this post. I have never been married and I have no children. I have two fur babies who don't require much of my time. I have been able to get my advanced degree (Ph.D) in Human Factors and am now studying mixed media art, diametrically opposite my various engineering degrees. I can truly relate to this mural.
ReplyDeleteIndeed. And it's never too late!
ReplyDeleteGreat mural and great advice Lydia. I'm lucky that I've always been artists and always did a bit of this and that related to arts even while bringing my kids up. Now I have more time and can spend more time doing those things I love. Luckily I have so many interests, I just wish I had another lifetime to do all I would like to do, lol. Thanks for participating in Monday Murals.
ReplyDelete