Memory - So Good

Elliot Perlman's The Street Sweeper opens with a beautiful idea "Memory is a wilful dog. It won't be summoned or dismissed but it cannot survive without you. It can sustain you or feed on you. It visits when it is hungry, not when you are. It has a schedule all of its own that you can never know. It can capture, corner you or liberate you. It can leave you howling and it can make you smile."

I had this highlighted to me the other day, when a song came on. It was a B.o.B song, which I hated when it was on the radio, and used to automatically change station at the sound of the first bar of music. Yet this time, I was instantly elated, and suddenly dancing round the kitchen (don't judge, you do it too).

It took me awhile to work out what was going on. I've discovered I have an emotional memory now attached to this song, that I was initially unaware of.

When my partner was away for two weeks (on the trip I declined in order to be a good mum to eldest child with exams), I got it into my head that we should take up bowling as a family, and join a league. This was a short lived idea, once I discovered that bowling is not for the likes of the people in the Big Lebowski or Kenny Powers, as TV would lead you to believe. It's for people that can afford to drop $60+ for 40 mins entertainment. And for ladies whose hips don't seize up for days after using a previously unknown muscle for the first time.

We did have a great time, rare to get an activity that works for all ages of our clan, and during our game, I managed to get TWO strikes in a row. Both involved me dancing around shouting "IN YOUR FACE, SUCKERS!" to the kids, with my arms flailing wildly above my head in time to the music. Both strikes occurred during this song. (New parents, you won't understand this, but once at least one of your kids is a teen, nothing brings more enjoyment than publicly embarrassing your kids at your own expense...I need to point out, the embarrassment was caused by my old lady dancing, not my sporting prowess).

So now, if I hear this once hated song, and I am instantly elated. For no apparent reason. The human brain is fascinating.

Do you have odd memory hooks?

Linking up with Maxabella Loves for Weekend Rewind.

PS the film clip opens in Paris, which also makes me smile *sigh*


PS Vote for me please!  I need the writing courses (click link - button seems to take you to the wrong page?? www.surveymonkey.com/s/BAB2014 )

A lovely little thought for the day

I know this is not my usual style, but I was so taken with this story, I thought I'd share it with you.

There is a travel blogger called 'Crazy Sexy Fun Traveller'. It's not quite what it sounds like, she's a travel blogger who writes in both English and Slovakian (I think). This little story came up on her facebook page. She's currently in Central America, and she asked the staff of the resort she's featuring ''What makes you happy every day?'' She repeatedly received an answer along the lines of ''When I can wake up, I am grateful for another day of life.''

This should probably be the first thought that comes into our minds everyday.

Hope you all enjoy this very precious day.

Linking up this old post with #HappyTuesday

Conversations with Expectations

 

A must read for everyone (at some time in their life) is the very wonderful book by Norton Juster, The Phantom Toll Booth. In one chapter, they go to the land of Expectations. The guide explains "Expectations is the place you must always go to before you get to where you're going. Of course, some people never go beyond Expectations, but my job is to hurry them along whether they like it or not."

Expectations can taint everything we do, and every interaction we have. The trick is to have the expectations but not let them ruin our experience. I guess the people that never go beyond expectations are the ones that always feel let down or disappointed in others, and that always find happiness to be elusive.

It is easier to go in with low expectations and be pleasantly surprised, than high expectations and be disappointed. I'm guessing the second is the flaw in us humans, that causes us to stumble regularly, for the actual experience is the same, just how we feel about it changes. In the Phantom Toll Booth, a character says “Things which are equally bad are also equally good. Try to look at the bright side of things." I see a number of bloggers promoting this idea - and I do wish it came a little more naturally to me. Mindfully, I would like to be this type of person, naturally, I am not. One thing I've learnt with the Torschlusspanik List*, is that my expectation of difficulty/injury/embarrassment could stop me doing a lot of things (fortunately, once I've put it on the list, I'm publicly committed, and it makes it psychologically trickier for me to back out of it).

While we will always have expectations, we must be careful to not let them spoil our interactions and experiences, and learn to quickly move on because the most important wisdom in this brilliant book is at the core of our existence: “Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need, the time you need to have the time of your life. ”

If you haven't read this book, go and purchase a copy today (you get the bonus value of money well spent as the kids can read it too).

Norton Juster passed away this week at 91, thus resharing this post as I loved this book so much, and hope others that haven't read it yet discover it.

Linking with ##IMWAYR

First of the Month Fiction - April

Going a little early this month (as I do every month, let's face it), and prompted by the Sunshine Sunday prompt of Night (so let's blame Zanni for my jumping the gun this time).

For newcomers, examples here but short version: you write a story in less than 30 words or exactly 100 words, and post it in the comments. Then you link up your blog so we can see your work unfettered.

So my story, Night.

It was always at night when the painful loneliness resurfaced.
The large, empty bed reminding her that he was gone.
The cry of a child that she had to answer as there was no longer anyone else to offer respite.
The hardest of all, the intruding thoughts that stole her sleep, demanding she wonder where he was and who with.
The hours loomed, offering pain and anxiety. Minutes crawled.
In the morning she'd be tired and busy with the obligations of the day. The company of others soothingly distracting. The rigid timetables passing time.
It was always hardest at night.
 

Linking up with Maxabella Loves & Life Love & Hiccups for Weekend Rewind.

An InLinkz Link-up

Undecided - Rules and bad parenting (warning: swearing)

So at the risk of revealing some of my appalling parenting, I want to put this out to the ether, as I'm unsure what I think about this, and I need to hear all sides of the argument to make up my opinion.

New parents, this is not what to say to your kids.

The story begins: My son complained of this kid annoying him all lunch - poking him repeatedly, saying his name, and when my son answered, the kid would say "Nothing".
The kid is in the grade below, so he's not bullying him; it's just annoying (ie no menace). I said "Just walk away". My son said, 'He follows us, and keeps doing it'.
Again, my son is with some friends, and this kid just wants to join in, but in a highly irritating way (ie the kid is not waiting until my son is alone or anything nefarious).

So (you can all roll your eyes now at my parenting, my teen does all the time), I said 'Next time, just say Billy*, you're being a dick, and you can't play with us if you annoy us. So stop being a dick or go away'.

At which point, the sensible teen steps in (I thought to tisk me off at my language but NO!). 'Mum, he can't say that, he'll get in trouble. You aren't allowed to exclude people'.

I was a little stunned at this, and went on to clarify 'So your telling me, that even if he's not in his year, and he's being a jerk, you still have to play with him?' (Apparently yes.)

Now I don't like exclusion, and I don't like kids going out of their way to be mean to other kids. However, do you really have to be friends with everyone? All the time? Do you really have to play with people if you don't like them, and they could go and play with kids in their own year?

So, let me know where you stand on this. I really am undecided. This kid is not being mean, but he's not going to make friends if he keeps annoying people with stupid behaviour - and he probably doesn't know it's annoying (though he is old enough to know better, but maybe no one has ever told him, because it's not allowed).
Do you think it's fair that the school has a rule that you can't not play with someone?
Sort of seems a little over the top....

Linking up with some Grace for FYBF





*Billy not his name, obviously.

Electrifying (Electric part 2)

A few weeks ago, I had to review an electric bike tour, and then started to freak out about it. (Unnecessary but original post here). I was scared on arrival, especially signing the waiver, but as soon as I got on the bike, I was fine. In fact I LOVED it.
(Review for those interested here, as this post is on fun and fear).

All the way in, I kept hoping the potential pending rain would call it off, but there was no getting out of it. Had I not been forced to write the review, and had a friend meeting me, I would have feigned illness and cancelled. Sometimes I have to stack the deck so I force myself into things....I'm quite a chicken.




One of my fears was that I'd get burnt by the engine, as I'm clumsy and uncoordinated. However, the engine is tiny, and in the wheel so there's no chance of burns, as I imagined.







I was scared of crashing or being hit by a car, yet we were rarely on the roads and the guides watched for safety. Other than a near miss of running up the back of my friend, when she suddenly stopped, it was all smooth sailing.

By the time we hit Barangaroo*, I was keen to test out the bike at speed (the engine kicks in on it's own accord as soon as you start pedalling too much). It was so much fun, tearing around that strip without pedestrians to worry about. Getting the speed up was exhilarating.

The engine also made riding up Observatory Hill a breeze, even for an old, unfit lady like me.

 

All in all, I felt very energetic, like I'd exercised for two hours (when really I'd just enjoyed fresh air, as the engine takes all the exercise out of the cycling).

The highlight? Riding around the back of the Opera House. We had it more or less to ourselves, and it really felt special, looping around that great monument with the beautiful views of our wonderful harbour. They have special permits, so don't just lob up on your own bike!!





I'm proud that I pushed myself into something I was scared of, and as a result, I really enjoyed it. I have to work hard on not letting my fears restrict me. With age, most limitations are self imposed. At least for me. As Dave Allen used to say 'There is nothing to fear but fear itself'**. It will be a sad day when I let my fears get the better of me. I know that day will come but I'll keep working on it while I can.

Linking up with #BlueMonday for the helmets

*We didn't start the fire...(do you have an earworm now?)
**Apparently FDR made this famous, paraphrasing Sir Francis Bacon, but for me, it will always be the Irish Comedian, sitting on the stool, smoking, before launching into a story of how he lost his finger...

Night

Fear
Loneliness
Romance
Rest

The theme of Sunshine Sundays is Night. All I could think of was a sad little story, which I'll use for this coming First of the Month Fiction.

What I found interesting, was that all I could think of was scary things that happen at night, sad loneliness amplified by the night and all the bad things and worries that seem worse at night.

And yet for me, night is usually a happy time - it's when I clock off, when I go out to watch sport or bands, when I go to restaurants or movies (my happiest of happy places). It's a time when I get to indulge in things I enjoy.

So isn't it interesting I jumped on the bad associations instead of the sunsets and pleasant after dark activities? I wonder why we do that? Be scared of the things that go bump in the night?

I will leave you with a photo from Vivid, a celebration of light (and Night - for you need the darkness to fully appreciate the light). What does the night conjure up for you? And why does it do often represent evils, when from our own experiences, it's usually the reverse?

Linking up with #ArchiveLove