Sydney's Mardi Gras

For the last three weeks, Sydney has been awash with rainbows. Whether you participate or not, it has made the weekly shopping excursions a little more uplifting and the city feels a little kinder and more inclusive.

As I said earlier in an insta-post, if you are dealing with big emotions or fears, you only need to take one step at a time, in your own time but ALWAYS take PRIDE in yourself.















In the 21st century, it seems odd (and frankly depressing) to me that this is still a thing that even needs discussion any more than being left handed. However, not wanting to straight-splain being gay, I'll keep my mouth shut, and remind you there are allies everywhere and wish you all a Happy Mardi Gras!








Linking with #WordlessWednesday #MCOW #MySundayBest #WWOAT #Thrumylens #GlobalBlogging




PS I know I'm technically cheating with the Elton John Laneway at The Grounds but it still works so....
PPS I know I've shared it before, but if you're wondering how to react to someone coming out to you, the end of this song nails it perfectly.

Taking Stock - March

The first two months of the year have flown by. I still sort of feel 'just back'. 

Cooking: Lots of vegetable meals. I started getting an organic fruit and veg box delivered (in an effort to reduce carbon emissions in my grocery shopping and boost local economies - not sure really how much difference it makes but it is making me eat a lot of vegetables I never normally buy and the fruit is AMAZING).

Sipping: Koskenkorva Lemon Lime Yarrow, and flooding my mind with memories of the trip to Norway, where we drank Helsinki duty free in the room because the $AUD was traumatisingly low against the Krone.

Reading: The Aunt's Story by Patrick White for bookclub. Not loving it but not hating it either. Also making my way through The Half Brother by Lars Saabye Christensen. 

Looking: For fun. Always.

Listening: The Galantis Album Church, Nice Guy by courtship and a number of tunes by Klangkarussell

Not sure about the NSFW aspect - nothing rude but lots of close ups of legs and curves. But a reflection of a total mum moment, my issue with this clip is they drop a water balloon off a tall building. Which could kill someone if it hit them so don't do that, people. Ever! Sometimes I hate how my brain works.

Wishing: We had a federal ICAC and they stopped wasting our tax dollars.

Enjoying: A string of concerts in the lead up to Bluesfest and a run of theatre dates.

Eating: A bit too much.

Liking: Blue skies again and the summer that we didn't have over December/Jan and all the rain we've been getting. Nice to see some green.

Loving: That the bushfires are over. It was really upsetting me. Now to rebuild and hopefully these dunderheads will learn that underfunding the Fire Service (and not covering their work related cancers in Workers Comp) is unacceptable.

Watching: Homeland. Wishing we had the new season of Curb and Better call Saul too...but having to wait.

Hoping: This virus gets under control soon. 




Noticing: That tiny and picture perfect Tallin was among the top 7 most intelligent communities in the world. Proving no idea is too big to implement and no city too small to become something great. Australia has fallen so far behind the rest of the world. It's a real tragedy. 

Sorting: Stuff. Still getting rid of toys and books from the kids (and my) childhood.

Feeling: Pretty happy. Busy and having lots of fun. That's all you can ask for in life.

Linking with #TwinklyTuesday #StayClassyMama #DebsWorldRecap ,#KCACOLS

Some days you just feel your age....

I was writing a card to my niece's baby, a little six month old, and I signed off, "Your" and then it dawned on me, the words that followed were "Great Aunt." It hit me hard. How did I get THAT old? A great aunt? I finished with a PS. "Let us never speak these words again!"  It really threw me. Frankly I blame literature for the bad rap Great Aunts get. It you are writing a novel, especially a children's book, make the Great Aunt youthful and vibrant please, so as not to pass this word association on to future generations...

Later in the week, I went to a concert and the female singer was very cool and hopping and dancing energetically with wild abandon. I realised a few songs in that she had a moonboot on, and it was later confirmed she did indeed have a broken foot. So apparently young yet injured people still look cool and dance better than I do.

On the flip side, I went to a party and spent most of the night on the dance floor with the 60 somethings that got the dancing started. The oldest people there were also the most enthusiastic. They liked the current music as much as the old music and it gave me hope that there are plenty of us out there. Those still engaged in life and the pursuit of fun.

While I may be old in appearance and by definition, I'm still young enough to revel in the fun of life. For the young people out there, always be kind. We don't like to be reminded of how old we actually are. We know, but it's just so easy to forget.

“Never dismiss old people having fun; you will be one of them eventually if you're lucky.”
― Carmine Savastano

"There is only one better thing than music - live music". Jacek Andrzej Bukowski

I was talking to friends of my husband who had started, in their late 50's, to go to live music regularly. Not the big stadium concerts but the small gigs in the dive bars. As someone who had taken up the same almost as therapy when my father was dying, I asked him if he'd gone a lot in his youth and got back to it, or if it was a new pleasure. While he had done the big name gigs when young, this was a new breed of concert going. 

Like me.

Also like me, he agreed that no matter what your mood was when you went in (he's dealing with a terminal illness), you always came out feeling happy.  I explained my theory about the energy. There is an exchange of energy between you and the performer, of course, but you also feed off the energy of the crowd. In a good audience, you get swept away on the joyful emotion. Add to that some endorphins from dancing and you come out a changed person.

Whether I'm completely sober or had a few drinks, I still leave with an injection of euphoria that lasts well into the next day, if the band is good. Last night was Parov Stelar and they were excellent! Even with a singer with a broken foot in a moonboot, both the band and the crowd was jumping and dancing and high on the experience. (They still have dates in Melbourne and Adelaide - and Noumea - so if you can get there, do! You'll love it).

Making us with old knees work hard....

“Music has always been a matter of Energy to me, a question of Fuel. Sentimental people call it Inspiration, but what they really mean is Fuel. I have always needed Fuel." Hunter S. Thompson

Linking with #ThruMyLens. Linking this old post because it was written just before all the live music got taken away - in fact the band returned to Europe and went straight into lockdown. How weird the world shifted. 

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” ― Maya Angelou

I saw this picture on Instagram last week of a magnificent pink manta ray. It's the only one of its kind in the world. I asked my husband why it was like that and he shrugged, 'It's some kind of genetic defect'.  Like we learn in the story of the Ugly Duckling, what initially seems like a handicap can in fact be our beauty and strength.

As I said recently, in my old age, I'm fairly unshockable. I’m discovering there is no unusual, just people that haven't found their tribes yet. Unlike the pink manta, you probably aren't the only person in the world going through what you are experiencing.

Sometimes your difference is what makes you special. Like Dorothy in the Oz, you just have to find your people. They may not be the same as you, but they love you all the same. Regardless of difference. Just like the pink manta ray and its remora.

Short and sweet with #Lifethisweek on the theme of Unusual. 

“That proves you are unusual," returned the Scarecrow; "and I am convinced that the only people worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones. For the common folks are like the leaves of a tree, and live and die unnoticed.”

― L. Frank Baum, The Land of Oz

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Peri-empty nesting

I have quite a few women friends becoming dissatisfied in their work. It's not something they've usually had an issue with. There does however seem to be a pattern amongst these women. While I think the bushfires has actually given us all a low grade depression (and add to that the governments appalling inaction on climate change so we know it will only get worse for us so there's also a feeling of futility and despair), and the fact no one could exercise properly or enjoy being outdoors for the last four months, which has a very damaging side effect to our mental wellbeing, I do believe there is more to it. 

All these women have one child finished school and the other one heading into the senior years. The children are becoming more independent and our role as mother is becoming less relevant. Once one child finishes the HSC, you realise it's not the big fanfare that we're led to believe. It is literally as Michael Carr-Gregg says in his book, Surviving the HSC, merely the third 'transition into work or study'. That first year post HSC makes you realise your role as mother is ending, at least in that level of involvement.

Just as perimenopause heralds the occurrence of menopause with a few minor symptoms, this is the beginning of the realisation that soon your life will just revolve around you. After the years of juggling family life and children's needs, that can be daunting as it requires you to know what your needs and desires are to feel fulfilled. 

Basically, there are suddenly a lot less things to distract you from your work, so you need work to be a lot more engaging and interesting than it was before. The need for satisfaction from work becomes greater than it's ever been. That's a big ask as it hasn't changed necessarily, you have.

                                                                      

We suddenly discover we are at an age where life is more about us than it has been for at least the last 18-20 years.  We need something invigorating in our lives. We need our lives to be meaningful again. And for a lot of us, that's causing dissatisfaction in work, because that's the thing that's still taking up most of our time and where our focus and self-esteem is.

I don't have the solution yet, but I do believe understanding what's causing the issue is a good start. Only you can decide if there really is a problem with your job, and if changing work will be a solution or will you just carry that dissatisfaction with you to a new workplace? For some people, making time for hobbies will solve it. For some people they need to discover what they actually enjoy doing. For others, a new career will be the solution. Something they've always dreamed of or something that will help others or an impactful work.

My only advice is that it appears to be a common problem. It is worth investigating what is specifically the cause before you take action. A little introspection can never hurt.

Are you feeling this or noticing it in your circle of friends? What do you think? Does Peri-emptynesting  exist?

Up close and far away

I was lucky enough to spend a lot of nights around the Harbour this week - dinner with overseas visitors and two plays at the Opera House. So I was able to soak in its magnificence from up close and far away.

I love that this building fills me with much joy. It gives me a buzz of excitement, even after all these years, no matter how many times I see it. 

What about you? Do you have buildings you love where you live?

Linking with  #SayCheese #ThruMyLens #AwwMondays #WordlessWednesday #MySundayBest, #WednesdayAroundTheWorld and #OurWorldTuesday