Peri-empty nesting

I have quite a few women friends becoming dissatisfied in their work. It's not something they've usually had an issue with. There does however seem to be a pattern amongst these women. While I think the bushfires has actually given us all a low grade depression (and add to that the governments appalling inaction on climate change so we know it will only get worse for us so there's also a feeling of futility and despair), and the fact no one could exercise properly or enjoy being outdoors for the last four months, which has a very damaging side effect to our mental wellbeing, I do believe there is more to it. 

All these women have one child finished school and the other one heading into the senior years. The children are becoming more independent and our role as mother is becoming less relevant. Once one child finishes the HSC, you realise it's not the big fanfare that we're led to believe. It is literally as Michael Carr-Gregg says in his book, Surviving the HSC, merely the third 'transition into work or study'. That first year post HSC makes you realise your role as mother is ending, at least in that level of involvement.

Just as perimenopause heralds the occurrence of menopause with a few minor symptoms, this is the beginning of the realisation that soon your life will just revolve around you. After the years of juggling family life and children's needs, that can be daunting as it requires you to know what your needs and desires are to feel fulfilled. 

Basically, there are suddenly a lot less things to distract you from your work, so you need work to be a lot more engaging and interesting than it was before. The need for satisfaction from work becomes greater than it's ever been. That's a big ask as it hasn't changed necessarily, you have.

                                                                      

We suddenly discover we are at an age where life is more about us than it has been for at least the last 18-20 years.  We need something invigorating in our lives. We need our lives to be meaningful again. And for a lot of us, that's causing dissatisfaction in work, because that's the thing that's still taking up most of our time and where our focus and self-esteem is.

I don't have the solution yet, but I do believe understanding what's causing the issue is a good start. Only you can decide if there really is a problem with your job, and if changing work will be a solution or will you just carry that dissatisfaction with you to a new workplace? For some people, making time for hobbies will solve it. For some people they need to discover what they actually enjoy doing. For others, a new career will be the solution. Something they've always dreamed of or something that will help others or an impactful work.

My only advice is that it appears to be a common problem. It is worth investigating what is specifically the cause before you take action. A little introspection can never hurt.

Are you feeling this or noticing it in your circle of friends? What do you think? Does Peri-emptynesting  exist?