Thursday, 28 October 2021

“We are so old, we have become young again.” ― Hanya Yanagihara

 We are watching Rosehaven and last night in explaining why she hated birthdays, Emma said 'With every year, my personality becomes more inappropriate' and it hit me, that was exactly my problem.

I will see something fun to do and it gets harder and harder to find someone to do it with. I did make some friends about 10 years younger and they seem to be the ones that want to do things. My other friends are happy with just restaurants and movies most of the time. I want to try axe throwing and dress up adventures and go karting and a squillion other things - they types of things I used to pretend we were doing for the kids but now I'm doing them for me. 


I have really felt rhe weight of lockdown - two years of my life wasted while my body ages a little more. It will get physically harder for me to do things. And harder to find people to do things with. I often go to concerts alone as no one likes the music I like to dance to, or they don't want to stand for hours without a chair. I see the looks I get (of horror or amusement) from the other concert goers. Some will literally shriek in mirth 'OMG, you're so old!' (to which I reply 'OMG! I know!' and we all laugh at the weird old out of place lady).

I have no delusions of fitting in, but no desire to change. I do feel somehow justified by Emma's comment, as if this is some psyche assessment that I can accept. It also means, that if one of the writers of the show thought of that, there must be more people like me out there. I just need to find them! 



Linking with #WedsBlogShare




27 comments:

  1. We need to get back in touch, this is exactly how I feel. Now we are out of lockdown, I was resentful I may have missed out on experiencing so much before I get too old. Now I realise there is still no one I can call to go and see a band with. Call me!

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    1. So resentful!! That's exactly it...the wasted time...

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  2. What a great way of being! You can tell you enjoy all those things and i love the fact you used to justify them because you were doing them for the kids :) #lifethisweek

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  3. You keep on being 'inappropriate' Lydia. I can see you axe throwing or go karting. My grandsons keep me grounded and 'young' but I see many women our age who are just happy to sit inside their boundaries and fearful of trying something new. Enjoy life - because we only get one chance. #lifethisweek

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  4. Lydia I'd love to be old and inappropriate! I'm working on the old part, and doing my best to at least remain relevant - inappropriate is a bit of a stretch. The amount of time you guys have been in lockdown is sad and ridiculous and my heart goes out to you. May things get better and stay better soon. x

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    1. As much as i've struggled and hated it, I actually think it was the responsible thing to do. I don't think anyone should lose their life because I want to go to a bar or a party. I'm not really comfortable now with the cavallier attitude we have in our rhetoric. It's like we are now the players in Squid Game reckless with people's lives for our own benefit. But our numbers are good at the moment so I'm hoping they stay low and people don't die.

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  5. I could not think of a better way to age - the more inappropriate the better. Personally I like to live by the motto "don't grow up, it's a trap!" and it's worked for me so far. Age is no barrier to doing new things! I think doing new things and pushing boundaries is where we grow the most - I think it's the perfect recipe for staying young. Go you!

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  6. Oh Lydia I can very much relate to much of your post and have had this conversation with a few people lately. I wondered if it was because I didn't have kids - I didn't feel like I 'fit' in with those around me who still had kids at school or were becoming grandparents and their lives at really different stages. It's like feeling as if you have no contemporaries or something...

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    1. I used to think it was people in the suburbs (seemed to age faster - in part because of the hassle to do anything) but now even my local friends don't seem to want to zip off to do something even tho it's only a cheap uber or 10 min train ride. So it is purely mentality...

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  7. I agree with Sammie this is just such an amazing way to age. I bet doing things that are not appropriate for older people, keeps your body young. #LifeThisWeek

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  8. I do think there are people out there that will dance along. I just picked up a card for a free belly dance class, and am wondering if anyone will go with me! Hubby wants to try axe-throwing again [we did it once and struggled to get someone to go with]. I do think I will find folks who will do both... and I do think you will to. Keep dancing!

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    1. I've taken many a dance class by myself - which is probably a good thing as I'm not very co-ordinated...ha!

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  9. I like your attitude and way of thinking but...if I may add, it does eventually come to us all..the ageing thing but its abut the way it is handled. I recently donned the swimmers, after a 4-5 year gap because I was determined NOT to say my last surf had been had. I may not have stayed in the surf for a while but I did go, get wet, and dive under a wave AND managed to stand again. At almost 72 and with a leg missing a fibula I did not want to fall and I am so glad I did what I did, I am going back again. Age is an attitude I know but there are some things (ask me how I know!) that actually do change us. It’s been great to have your blog post linked up for the week on Life This Week.
    Thank you so much. I look forward to seeing you next Monday too. The optional prompt is Sharing Your Snaps (photos).
    And a big thank you for showing your appreciation for guest blogger, Mr Whelan, in 2021.
    Take care, Denyse.

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    1. I love your husbands posts. He gets quite philosophical (? or about esoteric ideas - like on time). It's exactly my style of thinking!

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  10. I am a true believer that no-one is looking at you, they are too busy being the lead in their own show. So please do be inappropriate. Be silly. Dance as if no-one is watching. Because it's your life and only you get to live it! #KCACOLS

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  11. I have heard it said that as we age, we become more of what we have always been. I find that sobering and cautionary.

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  12. I love this. It is so true. We need to be ok with wanting to do different things than those our age. Age is a number! #KCACOLS
    www.growingexceptional.com

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  13. My mum enjoyed her life to the full and refused to let her age slow her down. Please keep on doing what makes you tick and be proud to be you as you are amazing. Sending love xx Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS.
     

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  14. I feel as if I gave more of a thought to what others thought was appropriate for my age when I was in my 20s than I do now. Then, I wanted to be 'mature', I think. Now I'm fine with just being me. That said, I think I too would struggle to find friends to go adventuring with, so I can see where you're coming from x #KCACOLS

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  15. I definitely care less about other people's opinions the older I get. Great perspective though. Thanks for linking up to #KCACOLS

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  16. I love that you're still going out and doing what you want even though you can't find people to go with you! Don't let anyone hold you back! #KCACOLS

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  17. Hi Lydia! You're amazing. Keep going with all those exciting adventures. I'm there with you when it comes to giving things a try and just going for it. Thank you for joining us for #mischiefandmemories

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  18. I turned 40 this year and feel so old compared to the teenagers I work with. I can't believe that things that seem like yesterday were actually half my lifetime ago, nor that I have been a mum for over a decade! Thanks for linking up with #MischiefAndMemories

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  19. This is so interesting. I have spent a lot of time feeling sorry for what teenagers have missed out on during lockdowns, but I hadn't thought of things for the perspective of someone older with kids now more grown. I can understand the feeling of resentment at having missed out on this time. As my kids are still little I feel that we haven't had to change too much. We never went out anyway except to kids type things which are often outdoors so the impact has been felt less for my demographic perhaps #MischiefandMemories

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  20. This was the right night for me to be reading this post, as its the night before Thanksgiving and most people I know, even the ones my age, are out socializing. Me, I'm about to tell my daughter its time for lights out, have another drink, and read some more blog posts. Cheers. #wedblogshare

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  21. I have to agree with you about lockdown, two years lost really! My attitude has definitely changed, especially when it comes to venturing out! #WedsBlogShare

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    1. I had one of my 'two events in one night' nights last night and I suspect that will be more frequent while we can...def not saying no to anything for a while! HA

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