The Other Mother's Day

My Mother's Day is fine, long settled in the routine of me seeing my mother to celebrate her and my husband seeing his mother at her lunch. So I am lucky and we have no issues, but even I was irritated by the weekend magazine with it's barrage of 'why I'm so happy in motherhood' articles, and endless ads for presents to give. Enough already, it's really not that interesting!

In a facebook group, someone asked for a support group for parents with estranged children and in true Facebook form, I'm now getting the relevant ads. So in a Mother's Day post with a difference, I'm posting for the mothers that find themselves out of the Hallmark card cliche.

Firstly, unbeknowst to me, until last Sunday, the Sunday in May before Mother's Day is actually International Bereaved Mother's Day. It's a day to celebrate the motherhood of mothers who have lost their child. I thought this article on the morning tea held has some important sentiments worth remembering.

Secondly, to all the people whose Mothers are no longer here to celebrate. I am luckily not in that boat yet but I know Father's Day felt hollow without the great man at the table, so I feel for you and I hope it's not a painful week with the overwhelming advertising and I hope Sunday brings peace in remembrance with it.

Lastly, the support groups for those whose adult children no longer contact them. This must be an extraordinary tough time to have the shops and newspapers ramming happy families on you at every turn. I am not affilitated with any of these, and know little about them so please investigate first. However, I hope you find comfort and even more, hope your child returns to your life. One site did mention that years later people will see your posts in the closed forums, so a pseudonym might be a good idea for privacy, and I think that is well advised.

Australia: Beyond Blue

UK Stand Alone

This is a website that came up, while trying to find the local support groups. Not sure where it is based. https://www.rejectedparents.net/ and I think this is in the US http://www.estrangements.com/groups-and-blogs.html

There are also a number of FB groups. However, I struggled to find local groups that meet in person, so if anyone knows any details, feel free to add to the comments below. I hope this information helps in one way or another, if only not to feel so alone.

Lastly, a big shout out to Prince Harry for his comment “How any woman does what they do is beyond comprehension,” ...“I’m so incredibly proud of my wife.” which I think has made every woman on the planet want to high five him. That is the attitude you want to hear after giving birth. That's what needs to be in the Hallmark cards.

To everyone, may your Sunday be pleasant no matter what it means to you.

Taking Stock - April

Pixar Putt Putt

Reminding: May 12 is the last day for Sculpture at Scenic World, Pixar Putt Putt and Sugar Republic. If you are in Sydney (or the Blue Mountains), you don't want to miss these things. Hop to it. Also reminding you that the Sydney Comedy Festival ends on the 19th. With some shows at litle as $17, there's plenty of reasons to make the effort and catch a one hour show.

Sculpture at Scenic World

Cooking: No thanks.

Sipping: Fireball Cinnamon Whisky - I know that sounds disgusting but strangely isn't. Very nice over ice. We got given some, and I'm quite the fan.

Reading: One day in the life of Ivan Denisovich, and just finished Joan Dideon's Blue Nights, which I thought was great. Every second page is folded down to note some sentence, phrasing or idea. Listening to Jon Ronson's Lost at sea, as I continue to work my way through everything he's ever written and just finished Ghost Wall for book club.









Looking: At art up at Scenic World, and at the Comedy Festival Programme, trying to work out how to squeeze a few more sets in.

Listening: Sofi Tukker as I wanted to see them this week but opted for comedy instead...(closer to home - I was being lazy - and I have more music lined up soon). If anyone went, give me a review please. Happy to be jealous that I missed it - it was quite the mental debate for a few days for me.

Wishing: The election was over. I'm sick of them all. And of their marketing campaigns. If you are only pointing out what will happen when the 'others' get in, it just means you're trying to hide your own policies that won't really work out for us either. Can we stop playing the people and the fears and start talking truthfully about policy.

Enjoying: Exercising to Search Party (on SBS on demand).

Sugar Republic

Watching: my spending and my weight. Yawn.

Wearing: Same stuff as always. I've discovered what I thought was laziness is a consistancy anchor (so you only have to make decisions on bigger things). There you go. Apparently Obama and Steve Jobs used this trick too.

Sculpture at Scenic World

Noticing: I am cutting back on my SM and gazing at my phone. After battery issues in Bluesfest, I'm trying not to jump straight back into my old ways.

Sorting: Stuff. Too much stuff. It's got to go!

Sugar Republic

Saving: For a January holiday.

Giggling: A lot at the Sydney Comedy Festival. Best of the Fest last Wednesday night was so hilarious!

Feeling: Tired but happy.


** It's not really rude but I'll say not suitable for work due to lack of attire.



Linking on the theme of Forest for the photos of Sculpture at Scenic would for the art exhibition in the rainforest that's millions of years old!

Every day a million miracles begin at sunrise! Eric Jerome Dickey

One of the only benefits of going off daylight savings time is I see more of the sunrise. Yesterday's was truly beautiful, setting the sky ablaze.

Sometimes the smallest joy can set your outlook for the day.

In a short post, I'm loving nature this week. Both in the sky and on land. All around me.

What are you loving?

No filters, just with my phone (and not doing justice to the colours and blazing glow). Linking with #GalleriaHimmelsblick

There’s a sunrise and a sunset every single day, and they’re absolutely free. Don’t miss so many of them.– Jo Walton

What I learnt from Avengers:Endgame. (No Spoilers)

I will delete any comments that ruin the plot, so don't be that guy.

I'm only going to talk about three conversations in the movie, and won't assign the characters so it's safe to read on.

1.  On moving on, on purpose and responsibility:
"You jumped when you didn't know where you would come down. That's it. That's those little brave baby steps we gotta take. To try to become whole again, to find purpose. You gotta move on...The world is in our hands. It's left to us...We have to do something."
Anyone who has quit their job, left a marriage, lost their partner or even just had their kids out grow them, knows that there's work in rebuilding their life. Why not direct it towards building a better world? To borrow from an earlier Avengers movie, perhaps it's our responsibility to 'Reframe the Future'.

2. "Everyone fails at who they're supposed to be...A measure of a person, of a hero, is how well they succeed at being who they are." Having had a kid go through the HSC, and watching many more, I think as parents we need to park our ideas for our kids futures and focus on who they are and what they want. We are merely the diving platform from which they launch, not the judges on the landing.
There's another nice moment in this conversation where the hero is called a failure, but "you know what that makes you? Just like everybody else." There is not one person, no matter how great, who doesn't stumble from time to time. It's not a thing to dwell on, it's merely a thing to move on from. See point 1.




3. In a brief exchange between two quite modified beings, one says self consciously 'I wasn't always like this' to which the reply is 'Neither was I. But we do our best with what we got'. Life events will alter us, not always for the best. We can never really go back to how we were before, but we can learn to harness these modifications so they don't hinder us. We can make ourselves the best we can be with how we are now, foibles and all. Don't lament what you've lost, learn to work with what you have.

On the movie as a whole, I loved it. It's long but didn't feel it. I didn't get bored. I liked where they went with it. Pictures are from the Marvel Exhibition in Singapore awhile back - I told you, no spoilers!

My two favs - Cap and Stan

From the Brisbane Exhibition but couldn't leave him out *sigh*
It's who I grew up with.

Linking with #KCACOLS #StayClassyMama #DreamTeam #TwinklyTuesday #TriumphantTales and #FridayFeature

“Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.” ― Anne of Green Gables

I decided yesterday that it was a waste not to catch some comedy with the Sydney Comedy Festival on in two locations so close to home. So last night I caught the 6pm show of Melanie Bracewell and was home to tuck the youngest into bed.

With the small sets, you're looking at $20-$30, and only an hour of your time, so there's really no reason not to grab a few laughs and lighten your step.

Check out who's on and by tickets here.

Ward off the winter chill that is coming. “Laughter is a sunbeam of the soul.” 
― Thomas Mann,

Linking this old post with  #MuralMondays as I love the Factory Theatre

One third of the year is over...

I am surprised to learn that we are well into 2019. I feel it's just begun. I'm still trying to get our money back from the travel insurer for the trip that we cancelled in January...so in my head it's still the start of the year as I seem to be anchored in that period.

It has been a big start to the year with travel and milestone celebrations and plenty of concerts and parties.

There's been some health issues too, but hopefully they'll slowly mend or recover.

I'm not feeling organised or efficient these days, nor am I feeling I'm moving ahead.

So to write - I've not written either story I'd intended on the break. I've not done anything of purpose.
I will be mindful of the time for the next third, and hope to look back in 4 months and feel I've become a little more direction driven, instead of buffeting around as flotsam in the waves of the calendar.


“Time flies, whether you’re wasting it or not.” 
― Crystal Woods

Linking with #Lifethisweek

May the force be with you

I was feeling down for no reason, but as I'd just had lunch with mum, it was safe to presume it was something to do with dad's death. I just couldn't shake the depresssed feeling, so as I drove home, I decided I'd stop in at the Powerhouse and check out the Star Wars Identities Exhibition. As a member, it was $11.50, so the fact that I only had 45 mins to charge through didn't matter so much. Ideally you want 75-90 minutes.



It did the trick. Time spent with a Wookiee usually does.










Seeing those familiar creatures that have spanned my lifetime since I was a child brought a spring to my step. Swiping my wristband, making choices as I created my character was enough to pull me out of my funk.

See the reflected exit man? #WeekendReflection

I would like to go back as I didn't have time to listen to the film displays which had a basis in psychology of what shapes us humans (At a cursory listen, they seem good for those with teens that are puzzling their behaviour or looking at careers) but for my purpose that day, the game part was perfect on it's own.


Tickets are $36 or $23 per child, and a family pass is $95. If you haven't been, why not plan a trip these school holidays? It's here until the 10th of June at the Powerhouse Museum.









I am loving that I can manage the ebb and flow of grief. As Qui-Gon Jinn says "Your focus determines your reality". Self care can come in strange forms. I am also loving  that I live so near the Powerhouse that I can 'pop in' for an hour. I will be sad when the Liberal government destroy something so wonderful for the sake of a land sale.

What are you loving this week?

Book tickets to the Star Wars Identities exhibition here

Linking with #OpenSlather #WeekendReflection