Friday, 16 May 2025

The girl I used to be


I titled this photo Self Portrait:Too big for my boots because of what I discussed back in this post - no need to go over that trauma.

I had a melt down when I discovered I was older than Peter Dutton (Seriously, how is that possible?) and a friend said "Age is just a number" but it's not. I seem to be constantly saying goodbye to the girl I used to be. I'm not able to wear certain things or people pat me on the head (seriously) for being at a festival. Please tell your kids not to pat old ladies on the head, it's not the feel good thing they think it is. I feel the disconnect with the people around me. I see it in their eyes or kind smiles. 

As I said goodbye to these shoes, which I used to love and felt very glamorous in, I was sad. They've been in my wardrobe for parties for about 22 years. There's no point in even replacing them as the height would give me back and calf problems the next day.

Don't get me wrong, I loving my life, I do plenty of fun things. I'm working on balance, bone density and flexibility so I can physically keep doing fun things. But there is a physical toll with ageing that I'm very aware of.  And then there's all the changes in life with the kids moving on, which is great (for them) but sad for me. 

I get us all together to play and it makes me SO happy. I love watching them laugh and interact like they used to when they were little, running around joyfully. My little entourage for so many years.  I guess I just miss those days and who they made me.

There is that saying that one day you lift your child and carry them for the last time. But this is everything. One day we do something for the last time and never know it. We are in a constant state of goodbye. Even down to wearing shoes or an outfit for the last time.

"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may" and all that....or my favourite by Benjamin Franklin "Do not squander time, for that's the stuff that life is made of".

The Monkees had a song "The Girl you used to be" but I can't find it so signing off with this one which has nothing to do with anything except I used to love it. And please note, this lady is inspiring me to keep moving and not hold myself back. 



Linking with #TuesdayTwirl (bit less of a smile regarding footwear tho!) 


19 comments:

  1. Clever reflection! Imagine how Iggy Pop must feel, he turned 78 last month.

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    1. And yet he still seems like the guy he used to be (maybe without the hard living?)

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  2. The singers and actors of my youth are all in their 70's, 80's or even 90's now. Recently I was shocked to discover that Sammy Hagar is 77 years old. P.S. are you thinking of the Monkees song "The Girl I Knew Somewhere"?

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    1. No, it's called the Girl you used to be....maybe it's not the monkees? Tho I did find some lyrics for it, just not the song.

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  3. Found your song

    https://youtu.be/gf8XWQrILo4?si=mqgkTz8OUm4cRuDO

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  4. Very nice. So very interesting about how your idols are getting older.

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  5. Unfortunately, getting old is bound to happen if we live long enough and while it certainly isn't fun that we no longer look youthful with bodies that won't cooperate, still it's a blessing. I relate to that disconnect. My hearing difficulties puts me in that boat. I just smile most of the time pretending to understand conversations, taking cues from others when to laugh or whatever. It's uncomfortable at best. Anywho, I love the Monkees. They were probably my favorite bands when I was a kid and still rank tops with me. Thanks for joining the 4M party. Have a boogietastic week, Lydia! xo

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  6. Yeah, it sucks when we can't wear certain shoes anymore. Age is just a number but it gets us closer to death which kinda sucks. You just enjoy each day, if we are lucky to get to 80, then we should be happy. How many people doe so young. I like that Monkees song. I never heard it before.

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  7. Hi Lydia, well yes I can very much relate to this post. I find I am often thinking people are WAY older than me only to discover I am in fact older than them. But I don't look that old do I, I ask my poor husband! Try as I may too, to be healthy and well and flexible and mobile etc etc, still the perils of aging are making their appearances. I am grateful though that at nearly 61 I am still here when so many are not so lucky. Oh and I have a whole tub of shoes from the girl I used to be - a corporate, working girl in fact, striding the city streets of Brisbane in court shoes and heels with ease. She is no longer, sigh, and yes I must give away those shoes. Thanks for linking up with #WWWhimsy ! xo

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    1. I do that too, and am quite horrified! Which is terrible! (but true)

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  8. So much about being a mother (and woman) is about letting go...and understanding it is necessary...mind you you don't have to.. but sometimes the body and mind work together to give us the message. I don't recall the last time I could wear shoe that was not flat, and laced up and with orthotics. Make those memories work for you too in your social media feed.
    Takes care. Denyse x

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  9. I hear you Lydia, I will be 68 in August and wondering where the time has gone. I just try to make the most of life, staying active and he’s,thy and being grateful for what my body can still do,

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  10. My 'thing' was jackets, so when I finished work I had a huge load to donate to the local Vinnies store. I hear you Lydia, the letting go bit is hard and being a mother never ends.

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  11. My thing that I found the need to give up was skirts to the top of the knee, and high heels. These days it's sneakers all the way, but I need to get myself some 'going out' flatties. I totally get you about attitudes to us as we age. I usually ignore them, but I see the looks I get, when I walk into a cafe, as though I'm too old to be let out of the house. And then there's the condescending attitudes and the barista who calls me Lovie....but I could go on and on.

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  12. Age does not wait for anyone, we all get older, say our goodbye daily to various things. Moving house, kids getting married, stop working and so many more.
    Thank you for sharing and participating at SSPS 361. See you at #362
    Also a BIG thank you for sporting out SSPS 361 image and letting your readers know where you hang out and inviting them to come and join us.

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  13. Congratulations, your post is being featured at SSPS 362! Thanks for sharing. See you Monday!

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  14. Your tenderhearted message touched me today.
    Visiting today from Esme's

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  15. A poignant post. I often reflect on things I've done for the last time, and if only I'd known. I think the Monkees song is the one "The Girl I Knew Somewhere " . Thanks for linking at #TuesdayTwirl

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