Monday 27 November 2023

"It's not how old you are. It's how you are old." - Jules Renard

 Following on about last week's post about squeezing back into my wedding dress...I did indeed squeeze back into it. I did my make up and then went to put on the super high shoes before walking out the door, only to discover they didn't fit. At all. It was like the ugly stepsister trying to squeeze her massive feet into the dainty slipper. They could not even go in. I wore them to a wedding in 2019 and they were fine.

So this is an age or menopause thing.

What it was, was depressing. I found another pair of shoes that had to do.

I sat in the uber googling what was the cause of mystifyingly enormous feet.

Possibly menopause as the estrogen affects the collagen production (a building block in the connective tissues. Feet get wider (but not longer). It explains the foot issue after jumping too much at gigs that I complained about here. It may not be the Converse's fault. Just the old lady's fault for continuing to exist in her less than newly minted body. The old lady's fault for trying to keep doing what she's always done, against the wishes of the ravages of time.

I will say this again, when kids are taught puberty, they need to also be taught menpause. I did HSC Biology and I still keep getting unpleasant surprises that feels like my body is decaying from within, only to discover it's all perfectly normal.

Apparently we need to get our feet measured every time we buy shoes once we age....

I feel increasingly alien in this body of mine - it's no longer the shape it always was, and my face is weathered & worn. While I'm working hard on unlearning the beauty standards wired into me, this surprise attack of the feet has set me mentally aspin.

I'm sure he was meaning this in more complimentary terms but this speaks volumes to me at the moment.

“The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.”
― Robert Frost

I feel very much unsuspectingly ambushed by time. It's both physically painful (literally at times) and mentally uncomfortable to know 'With every year, my personality becomes more inappropriate'. However, it is better than the alternative...

Linking with #Stylewithasmile 


  1. Oh, how right you are! I remember when I was at this particular age, the realization that no one talks about this. My own mother had passed so I could not ask her, and she likely wouldn't have talked about it either! Visiting from SSPS (My Gluten Free Cucina)

  2. Hi Lydia, I totally get where you are coming from and I've been there. My feet have actually shrunk a half size LOL :) and of course at 66 I think I'm losing height as well. I agree that Menopause should be taught in high school to both boys and girls. Not just for the physical changes but also the emotional changes. The need for self-care which isn't being selfish and for males to appreciate just what women are experiencing. Information is power. Take care of yourself and be kind to you! xx

  3. Hi Lydia, my feet got bigger after having babies but I didn't know about the menopause thing! I agree that when puberty is taught so too should menopause be taught - even though they will think that is AGES away! Hah it creeps up quickly on you! Thanks for linking up with #WWWhimsy Have a wonderful week! xo

  4. Feet change in shape and size in pregnancy. yet another sacrifice we make..and we change due to age and time..."acceptance" time coming Denyse x

  5. It's a hard one Lydia and I feel your pain! While it's good to be getting older many of the things we took for granted like having our shoes fit our feet, are just not complying! I totally get where you are coming from and as I approach turning 63 next week I sometimes wonder who this person really is!! Great post and that quote by Frost - wowsers! #WWWhimsy

  6. How interesting! I certainly didn't experience that, and I would have loved to! My feet are super narrow—I sometimes have to pad up AAA width shoes to keep them on my feet. Very hard to find shoes that are narrow enough. Has been a problem all my life. #WowOnWednesday

  7. I didn't realise that our feet change with age. It explains my frustrations with my shoes. Your last paragraph stabbed in the heart, Lydia. I understood exactly how you were feeling as how I've been feeling over the past couple of years. But you're right, it's definitely better than the alternative.

  8. First of all, Lydia, I love both of those quotes you shared. Second, yes, we should teach our daughters more about what to expect throughout life, including menopause. It is challenging physically and mentally at times. It would help if we knew what to expect and were better prepared. My grandma used to say, "It's hell getting old, but it beats the alternative!"

  9. Hmmm...I didn't know our feet changed with menopause. But, I think that's because I've had problems with my left foot for more than a decade, including two involved and invasive surgeries. So, I've just become used to that. As for the changes in our bodies...I've decided to celebrate the wings under my arms because that helps me lift things. And, the extra cushion around my middle is perfect for balancing my laptop. The extra chin? It keeps my larynx warm. And, the loss of hearing...well, that excuses me from things I really don't want to hear anyway! So, there are positives...sort of!

  10. We appreciate you dropping by and linking up at SSPS 290. Age Ain't Nothing but a Number.
    Take care and best wishes.

  11. I did not know that our feet changed with menopause - I thought my feet were just widening like the rest of me! I can't help but feel women get the short straw - periods, childbirth and just when those days are behind us, we get to "enjoy" menopause!

    1. But added to that short straw is 'let's not talk about it so you are constantly taken by surprise and unprepared...' Insanity!!

  12. My feet are ruined! Years of wearing high heels, long distance running and now menopause means I have bunions and wide, flat feet. I'm currently waiting for surgery, which I'm not looking forward to but trying to focus on the long-term benefits. On the positive side, trainers (sneakers) are now more fashionable than ever and acceptable in a lot of work places.

    Emma xxx