"Women need to be able to talk about their bodies, and not be ashamed of what they need to talk about". (Benn)

A friend was telling me of her post menopause complications that resulted in her no longer attempting sex or having pap smears because of the agony it caused. She gave it a medical name (and I'm sorry I can't remember the technical term) and said her doctor had told her 10% of women suffer from this but no one talked about it. A bit of googling is not finding the medical name but apparently 20-30% of women suffer from dysparenuia post menopause. 

My shock is not that this happens (though it's a terrible side effect of estrogen leaving the body), but that it's so common and we aren't warned about it or told about it. I did the maths, there are just over a billion women over 50 on the planet. so conservatively (statistically), somewhere between 100 million women and 300 million women suffer from this. So why don't we talk about it? Why had I never heard of this seemingly common health problem? 

I am incredulous the percentage of those afflicted could be so high and yet it's not talked about. 

I've writted before about how women's health is hidden in shame and that's a historic disservice to women. It's a way to keep us quiet and oppressed, dangling our 'usefulness' or lack of once we age as a way to make us feel obsolete.

Basically, if your body does it, it's probably a pretty common problem. Just because genitals and reproduction are involved, doesn't make it less normal. Let's normalise women's health, let's talk about it so we don't do to the next generation what was done to us.

In lockdown I did a history course out of the Harvard Library and they talked of the old Kotex machine that they have on the wall. It gave freedom for women to access sanitary items out of the house. Originally, these pads were sold in chemists in brown paper and hidden from view. It wasn't until a male marketing manager decided to boost sales by making the packaging fancy to push the idea of putting them on display. Kotex also made pamphlets to educate women that what happened to them was the sign of a health body (not dirty) and explained it all, both the biological process and what they could do to manage it. One woman talked about her personal experience with these pamphlets. When she first got her period, she ran to her mother scared she was dying and her mother didn't even explain what was happening, nor that it would happen again. It just wasn't spoken about. She gave her rags to 'look after herself' and told her it would stop.  This poor woman got such a shock when it happened a month later.

As far as menstration goes, we've come a long way. Yet as far as women's sexual and menopauseal health goes, we're still back in these old fashioned dark ages.

The title quote came up in this article which is worth a read. Whenever you read an article about healthy ageing for women, it's about diet and exercise, sleep and socialising. It never says 'be open and frank with your doctor and insist they don't write off your ailments'.  However, I am adding that to the list and advising all women to do the same.

I know I've said this before, but schools (and parents) need a comprehensive sex education that covers not just puberty but what happens at the other end of that. It is the only way to truly educate people on what happens to them and their partners in life. It gives teenagers an understanding of what is happening to their parents, and later, perhaps to their older sister or close aunt. The more frank and open, the less shame and embarrassment about the problems, the better it is for everyone.

As a fairly well educated woman, I'm ashamed I know so little of what is apparently afflicting 300 million people of my gender. And I have no idea how much more I don't know! Let's work together to make menopause matter so no one has to suffer in silence.

Please note, there is a petition for better women's health care here. Nothing to do with me. Just heard about it.

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