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Saturday, 2 March 2019

Managing milestones

I've had a number of milestones lately - a child become an adult and finish school, a 20th wedding anniversary (where did that go?) and a HUGE milestone birthday. Rather than be sad at any of these events, I've celebrated excitedly. Though I have noticed with some friends, they've gone the other way, lamenting what they've lost.

I've had a few mother friends struggle with the end of school emotions, whereas I just saw it as an exciting new beginning. A few male friends become depressed at the idea of turning 50, where as mine was a huge party where I could thank all my 'village' for all that they'd done to get me through the hard times. 'The great thing about getting older is that you get a chance to tell the people in your life who matter what they mean to you. ' Mike Love

I think a lot of these feelings are to do with where you are at in life. My forties were filled with roughly six years of difficult and overwhelming problems. There was little respite, as year after year some new issue arose. I am now feeling clear of most of those, so I guess I am in a 'good place' comparatively and 50 is to be celebrated. However, if I was stuck in that swamp still, I would maybe see it as a bad thing, adding to my other problems.

I am old, there is no denying that. For me however, it's not a new idea - I've seen it in the mirror for years now, and reflected back at me at concerts where I clearly don't 'fit in'. I'm much more comfortable about 'owning' that than I used to be.

One of the cards that made me smile, was this from a faraway friend, as it felt at times I'd sunk permanently into the mire, yet obviously I hadn't :

And she was right. I had a wonderful party and loved the effort everyone made to dress up and dazzle. I followed it up with a wonderful weekend of all the things I loved with the people I loved most. And when I woke up on the Monday morning, I thought to myself 'If this is 50, it's pretty damn good!'

The upside of 50, as another friend wrote:


And better yet, make your friends join in! We are all in this together, one way or another, and a rising tide lifts all boats. We can't be up and happy all the time, but when we are, try to make it contagious!

Linking with #MLSTL


22 comments:

  1. Milestones like the ones you've mentioned are simply a part of life and when we accept that and the stages we go through, it gets easier. I agree with what you said though, it depends on where you're at in life.

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  2. I love your positive attitude towards life and its milestones. Your sincere gratitude and deep commitment to your relationships shine through brightly in this post. #MLSTL

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  3. Well done on the party. I did exactly the same thing and loved it. Turning 50 is great. #TwinklyTuesday

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  4. I am so glad you celebrated your fiftieth birthday! Attitude is everything and how you think about aging will influence your experience of it.

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  5. I am right there with you...except I had a "bonus baby" who won't be out of school for quite some time. He keeps me young. I figure you might as well celebrate the milestones. Life is going to move forward either way.

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  6. We are all in this together...and we are all experiencing it and dealing with it in our own way. Aging is a common experience for us all.
    Visiting from #MLSTL

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  7. I celebrated my 50th too - I'm not a party person, but I made the effort to have a group of close friends around for lunch and it was a lovely memory to carry with me. For some strange reason, I'm finding my 50's to to be a really wonderful decade - I feel like I'm settling but also blooming at the same time. Nice to see it's being good to you too. x
    Thanks for linking up with us at MLSTL and I've shared on my SM :)

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  8. 50 is not OLD! Stop telling yourself that, truly your life is just beginning and from the viewpoint of 65 your best years are ahead of you. It's time to regroup and really take charge of your own life, celebrating with a party was the perfect way to turn the page, enjoy the rest of your book.

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  9. I dreaded turning 50, and did it quietly in Vietnam with my holiday. No party, no presents, just a friend who happened to be in Vietnam at the same time. No celebration. It was better than I could have imagined. I love being 50 (or, 52, as I am now), and wonder why I had all that anguish in the lead up to my 50th. I also go to concerts where I'm one of the oldest - who cares! I drink, I dance, I have my own fun and don't care who sees me! Life is good after 50!! Visiting from MLSTL. :-)

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  10. What fantastic comments in your cards. You obviously have friends who know and love you well, and lots to celebrate! I definitely agree that we should spread our sunshine whenever and wherever we can. You never know who may need it. X #twinklytuesday

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  11. Congratualtions & Happy Birthday - I love special occasions. I celebrated both my 50th & 60th birthdays and like you I'm in a good place. I don't dwell on my number but rather choose to focus on living my life the best way that I can. Milestones are important times in our life and I agree should be celebrated. We can't stop time but we can enjoy the moment. Thank you for sharing with us at #MLSTL and I will be sharing on Social Media. xx

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  12. Happy Birthday! I loved my 50th, struggled with my 60th, but as my 65th approaches I am full of ideas and vigour and enthusiasm for so many things!! We really are getting better if we decide to!

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  13. Happy 50th! I feel like this past decade has been one of growth for me as my son moved out into his own life and my husband and I have been able to explore and most recently moved from Connecticut to Florida. Very exciting change.

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  14. Happy Half Century! There, I said it. I read through your post and then back through to the others. Lydia, you have been a stable, shining light in my blogging world and helped me more than you know with you comments and kindness. Thank you for being my blogging friend, introducing me to How by Augusten Burrough and filling my life with Sydney pics! Denyse #mlstl

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    1. Back at you!! (And Augusten made a monumental change in how I dealt with my Dad's passing so I owe him an enormous debt of my own, especially that I could make it with no regrets). xx

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  15. Congratulations on each of these milestones! I have been blessed to be comfortable with each of my life phases so far. That doesn't mean I love everything about aging. I would be thrilled if my eyesight was what it used to be and if I slept as soundly as I did a decade ago. Still I see each decade as a combination of all my experiences, relationships built, and lessons learned, and I can truly say I am happy for them. #MLSTL

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  16. i try to celebrate events rather than mourn the loss of something, but sometimes it's too hard. Last year we had 3 weddings and 3 funerals (all family), this year we're looking forward to 3 births and a wedding but sadly this month there was a death. we have lots of things to celebrate but it is too often marred with sadness #triumphanttales

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  17. Happy birthday Lydia! I agree with some of the others who have commented, I'm loving this decade. I just thought to myself today that I feel like I'm in my prime and I'm getting ever closer to 60. Lots of changes and adventures help keep me feeling good. #mlstl

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  18. So pleased you have embraced your fifties and that you had a fabulous time. The big 40 is heading my way in a couple of years and I really need to take some of your advice, I'm handling the thought well at the moment! Thanks for joining us at #TriumphantTales

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  19. Happy birthday, what lovely comments in your cards! There's always something to celebrate, its just sometimes we need to push ourselves a little more. Also - 50 isn't old! Thanks for linking up #twinklytuesday x

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  20. Hope your fiftieth was wonderful! And hope that there are many many more happy, healthy years ahead! I'm 55, so I recall that milestone! xoxo #triumphanttales xoxo

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  21. Change can be scary but also wonderful. Happy birthday and definitely celbrate and make this a year to remember! Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama

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